Well, I'll be honest and say that as I was in acupuncture this morning (to relax and ease anxiety, right? Ha ha...), tears just rolling down the sides of my face, I had QUITE the blog post roaming around.
It of course rambled, but the highlights were:
Progesterone REALLY intensifies the HECK out of my emotions these days. In ways I never DREAMED possible.
I feel like I have hit some sort of brick wall and the heartbreak I'm dealing with right now is just as strong as a week after Matthew died.
I'm terrified about Thursday.
I'm lonely, but don't want company.
I don't want to be alone, but am mostly glad I am.
And a ton of other things I can't even remember right now. However, I just can't bring myself to do it. To write it all out. I'm TIRED of crying. Just tired of it.
So, thankfully, my funny boy thought he'd tickle my funny bone in sending me another birthday card. In light of the fertility treatments that we have gone through and are currently going through, I must admit that I laughed and laughed and laughed some more. Thank goodness I remember how to do that without having to MAKE myself do it.
I think the funniest part about it is that on the doctor's labcoat, John wrote Dr. K's name....