Thursday, March 4, 2010

And now to debut...

(I start off that way a lot, don't I? Imagine me saying it with a sigh, feeling like I have 3,008 pounds of bricks on my chest, not necessarily knowing just what to make of's that kind of 'Well.')
So, without going into all the various emotions (because that's just going to be too much, trust me), here are some details about the day:

I didn't have bad dreams last night. Thank you, Lord.
I didn't fret too much about the thaw.
It was a beautiful (finally) sunny day.
We got there right on time, in spite of traffic.
My before-acupuncture was very relaxing and the acupuncturist was very compassionate and encouraging.
I started to worry when they called me back 15 minutes later than my transfer time. (This is pretty exact science, so I thought there was a problem.)
The doctor was very nice and compassionate.
I told him about how one year ago yesterday the little embryo we were transferring was resting in Incubator 23.
I told him that two days from now was the one year anniversary of our transfer in the room next door.
He said, "Was it a boy or a girl?"
I told him, "Boy."
He said, "Super!"
I told him that Matthew died.
He looked horrified and heartbroken.
I told him it was vasa previa.
He looked mortified.
We got past that.
The embryologist came in and confirmed I was who I said I was. (I was.)
I asked for a picture.
The embryologist came back in with a teeny, tiny catheter and said, "One?"
The doctor said, "One."
He did the transfer.
The sono tech described it for us.
He gave some instructions and some best wishes.
I thanked them all profusely and told them I was ordering raises for them all.
They seemed to be pleased with that.
I asked a few questions.
They told me that it was a great thaw, all cells survived and were 100% living.
I was thrilled. Thank you, Lord.
I went back down for another acupuncture appointment.
We headed back home.

For the next two weeks, we will be on our knees praying to have a positive pregnancy test on March 18. Praying to learn that my second child will be part of our lives. Praying for peace as I remain heartbroken and hopeful at the same time. Praying indeed.

And now, to make his or her debut (hopefully the first of many, many, MANY pictures)....

Hello, Yellow!


  1. What a great embryo! I am hoping and wishing for you. Sounds like it was a great experience going through this process which is wonderful. Happy you have a great doctor.


  2. Hello Yellow! Praying hard for you Lori.

  3. Yellow is so cute!! :)
    What is the black thing in the picture?

  4. This makes me so happy! I came on here JUST to hear how well everything went today. I am so happy your little embryo thawed well. My doctor was also running behind for our FET, and I was SURE that our embryo didn't thaw. I will be praying for that embryo to snuggle in and make a home for awhile. Fingers crossed dear.

  5. You sound like it was a good experience...I have been thinking of you.

    Will be praying for you...

  6. I love, love, love the picture! Sending my prayers that you have many more pictures of yellow.

  7. Sending thoughts and prayers for a whole album of pictures to come ... will be praying along with you. Love, J

  8. Word verification? grate
    As in how 'grate!' How 'grate'ful I am to hear how wonderful your and yellow's day went today. It's the start of a wonderful pregnancy, Lori.

    I will be on my knees right beside you each day as the beginning of yellow's life joins yours and Johns. Love you so much sweetheart. So happy for you both. And for Matthew.

  9. Beautiful!!! Many good wishes are on their way.

  10. beautiful! praying for you guys and yellow too!

  11. Introducing yellow:

    Meaning, symbolism and psychology of color: Yellow shines with optimism, enlightenment, and happiness. Shades of golden yellow carry the promise of a positive future. Yellow will advance from surrounding colors and instill optimism and energy, as well as spark creative thoughts.
    Praying for you!

  12. Tears of joy flow as I read this! Tears of sadness as you repeat this so near to the day of Matthew..Prayers of joy and hope in the weeks and months to come!!

  13. Oh Yellow, you are so beautiful!

  14. I'm keeping you in my thoughts and prayers! Yellow make your mommy proud!!!

  15. Happy Embryo Day, Lori!!

    Moving forward with joyful anticipation doesn't show Matthew disrespect, it honors his life! He was SO special and you became a mother because of him, and now you simply can not keep on trying because of what he allowed you to experience!

    Let the closeness of dates be in remembrance of him, with an open heart waiting for good news soon. Let your heart lift just a little, as Matthew's spirit surrounds you cheering you on.

    Praying for Yellow over here in Colorado.

  16. Yellow is one FINE looking embryo! Fingers (and toes) crossed that in two weeks you have great news to share!

  17. yellow is absolutely the most beautiful baby i've ever seen!!!! praying for this precious little one and you every single second of every single day until......


  18. Ceaseless prayer for you, john & Little Yellow.

  19. awww what a cute little embryo he/she is too :) i am so happy for you, and will be praying right along side you for good news on the 18th. How very exciting... a Christmas baby then :)

  20. I'm thrilled for you Lori, just thrilled. Can't wait to hear all about "Yellow"!

  21. What a beautiful yellow fish!!! I'm SO happy the thaw went well and I can't wait to hear your results at the end of your 2ww!!!

  22. Hello, Yellow Fish, praying that you take up a lovely residence and thoroughly love the environment!

    Lori -- I'll be praying for you.

    Kathy W

  23. Lori,

    I'll be on my hands and knees praying along side you :)


  24. I love these pictures. How neat to see your baby at this stage. Thinking of you and sending many positive vibes! xoxo

  25. When I looked at it I had an overwhelming thought that I was looking at Emma. I still have her dress in my closet -- waiting. Yellow is so pretty already.

    I'll be praying right along side of you.

    Word verification: RIZES as in "Beauty rizes from the ashes." Just as Yallow will do.

    All my love and hugs!

  26. So, I've gone back to look at Yellow again. I just am CHILLED by the fact that this is how God starts our lives -- cells. That little picture is a HUMAN BEING. This is how we all start. The fact that we can see this on a computer (from hundreds of miles away no less) has just stunned me into amazement for not technology but for GOD. Amazing -- I certainly don't awe and respect as much as I should.

  27. EGADS -- I just read that I wrote YALLOW -- like a Southern version of Yellow. UGH!!! Love ya' anyway!!