Sunday, March 21, 2010

In 35 minutes, it will be exactly 16 weeks since Matthew died in his father's arms.

Every time I think my heart couldn't be more broken...I'm proven wrong.

I saw a little boy today...about Matthew's age...in an outfit that I have hanging in Matthew's closet...along with about 9 million and 6 other things of Matthew's...and I realized that the pain can and DOES go deeper.

Even when you think that you've hit rock bottom and the pieces of your heart simply can't get any smaller.

They do.

What's going to be left?

And do I even care?

Nothing there...nothing to hurt.
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9 comments:

  1. TerriMarch 21, 2010 at 1:17 AM

    Wrapping you in love and prayers. Praying for God's comfort and the comfort of all who love you, John, and Matthew. We lift you up.

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  2. MonicaMarch 21, 2010 at 2:38 AM

    Lori, I'm so thankful for your honesty. And so sorry that you are feeling so bad right now. Praying that God will bring you comfort right away.

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  3. AnonymousMarch 21, 2010 at 2:47 AM

    Lori,
    You WILL get through this torment and hurt and be happy again. I know someday you will have a baby in your arms to love and you will be an incredible mother to him as you are to Matthew. Keep trusting God that in His time, you will get the desires of your heart. All any of us can do is pray for you and think good thoughts for you and John. Wishing you much love, healing, hugs and happiness, Lynn

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  4. Confessions of a Mother, Lawyer & Crazy WomanMarch 21, 2010 at 9:23 AM

    You WILL get through this agony. You WILL. And your friends will be there to help you ... I am sorry you hurt so much right now ... sending you love and patience and more peace over time ...love, J

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  5. KarinMarch 21, 2010 at 10:38 AM

    Lots and lots of love.

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  6. HeatherMarch 21, 2010 at 1:09 PM

    I'm sending so much love and so many prayers your way.

    Friday night Nathan was away, and I realized how much more intense everything feels when he isn't here, how healing just having him near me is, and I realized how hard it must be for you to have to spend so much time away from your John. I'm praying that God will send you comfort right now.

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  7. AnonymousMarch 21, 2010 at 1:12 PM

    I'm keeping you in my prayers. I wish the pain could subside a little for you.

    (((HUGS)))

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  8. NanMarch 21, 2010 at 1:25 PM

    Love and prayers sweet girl, remember to breathe. Love, Nan xxxooo

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  9. HollyMarch 23, 2010 at 6:02 PM

    Oh Lori, aching for you! (((hug)))

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