38 is here!

Week 38-- 14 days and counting! Trust me, SOOOO counting!

Our appointment yesterday went wonderfully. Again he scored an 8/8 on the biophysical profile--there was no point in the Non-stress test because we scored so well on the breathing, muscle tone, and ESPECIALLY movement!!! I've been saying it all along...that boy is a mover! He was not being very cooperative about showing much or staying still for the sono-tech but she was able to show me a little more the hair (I *sorta* saw what she was talking about) and she gave me some insight into why right under my right rib cage and the right side of my back hurt so much--apparently Matthew is "wreaking havoc" (her words, not mine, but I'll agree!) on my gall bladder (which has been shoved up practically under my rib cage) and my right kidney (hence the horrible, never-goes-away pain on the right side of my back) and she could see it all. Not only are my organs just all jammed where ever they can find room but she kept pointing out how he was kicking, kicking and kicking them all!! It *does* hurt and has for awhile, but I have to admit, I find it really kind of funny. Obviously he has no clue of what he's doing, but he sure is going to town in doing it!

They were also very surprised that my OB isn't talking about a plan to induce and somewhat surprised that he hasn't popped out already because he's plum out of room. I know, I know...the body is amazing, can do amazing things, yada yada...I've heard it all, thanks. My body already has done AMAZING things and now is just not getting any bigger but Matthew is. I'm very glad for him getting bigger, but the lack of room for him can't be comfortable for him because it sure as heck isn't for me. Dr. Sweeney (GOD LOVE THAT MAN) said, "Well, your OB can't do anything before 39 weeks unless I find something wrong and that's just not the case, buuuuuttttt....you can certainly make a plan for week 39." I brought them turtle brownie torte and asked what I needed to bring next week for him to write "Get that baby out!" and he said it should be pretty obvious to the OB. Next Monday we'll do another growth assessment and I expect he'll be at least 6 lbs. and some change, and I'll be 39 weeks that Tuesday. Matthew's due date is one week from that, but in talking with John (and now having Dr. Sweeney's opinion weighing in) I'm going to look at trying to get something started on the 23rd ( the Monday before Thanksgiving and I'll be 39 weeks and 6 days) so that he can be here before Thanksgiving.

Frankly, I think a Thanksgiving baby would ROCK but I don't want to take any chances with staff being skeletal because of the holiday. The sono tech agreed. So, we'll see....

In any event, I will have an exam on Thursday to see how things are going down there and we may be able to tell some more from that about whether or not we even need to worry about any of this. In the meantime, Matthew is doing fabulously and seems to be very happy and content. That's worth my lack of sleep, inability to breathe and internal organs being used as kickbags.

Here's hoping it's not too much longer of that, though, and he gets to be happy and content on the outside!!!!

A Christmas Challenge....

Here's the chance my husband has been waiting for....

John Wright is once again issuing his Christmas challenge to give children of Kyrgyzstan a happy Christmas memory this year. I told him I'd do my best to raise the $500 my husband will need to put a pie in my face and I will, but I'm going to request Boston Creme! Pictures will of course be provided.

Seriously--the challenge is for as many people as possible to raise as much money as possible ($500 being the pie marker) so that so many deserving children can simply be given a wonderful Christmas this year. Here's what I think is SO sad...$5 makes a difference for a child. FIVE DOLLARS. I spend $5 at the gas station on a pack of gum and a soda. I spend MORE than that at Taco Bell, for Pete's sake....$5 is all it takes to make a child's Christmas this year. So...if you can, whether I get a pie in the face or not, please think about forgoing the trip to Dunkin Donuts tomorrow morning and donate to these children. I can promise you, that money will NOT go to waste and you'll be part of something that a child across the world will remember forever.

SO worth it, right?

Take a guess!!

Well, due to the overwhelming interest in guessing when Matthew will make his grand entrance to the world, I figured I'd at least make it a little interesting. I started a guessing game on ExpectNet and anyone can play. The interesting part is that whoever guesses closest will get a $25 donation made in their honor to the charity of their choice. I realize that won't fund major operations, but it can buy a couple of mattresses for someone in Kyrgyzstan or go toward researching the cure for Cancer, Lupus, Heart Disease, etc., or help make someone's Christmas a little warmer or well-fed--you get the picture. At the very least it is fun to guess and winning helps someone less fortunate.

So...go here, or click on the button on the side (I think) and take a guess!

As for Mala's inquiry on how Matthew's arrival will be announced, I can say that Facebook will be updated by John and he also has a distribution list put together on his Blackberry that I *think* he can use to email if anyone wants to send their email address. I'm sure I'll blog...just not sure when!

The countdown clock said 20 days last night. Unbelievable. Any day now!!!!

Full-Term! We made it!

Hooray!! It's November, Matthew's birthday month. Good thing he's a boy because his birthstone is Citrine, not a favorite of mine, and he won't be disappointed that he doesn't get pretty birthstone jewelry. I know, I know...the logic I come up with sometimes. In any event, as much as I like Opal, I'm SOO glad he made it to 37 weeks and is doing fine!

Our appointment yesterday was great. Of course I freaked a bit when we first went in because the sono tech was just going to check to see if he's breathing and moving, but not his growth. I was under the distinct impression we were there for the sole purpose of checking his weight and growth. Her concern was that the measurements aren't exact and that he could very easily have gone backward in growth just by standard measure of error and I'd be tormented. Yeah, she was probably right, but I still wanted his growth assessed. She then tried to tell me it was like brownies--if you keep checking every 5 minutes (or week), not much change is noticed. Give it 45 minutes (or a few weeks in between) and voila--awesome. I got that analogy, but still said, "Assess!" I'm glad I did...he was 4 lbs., 13 oz. last week and yesterday he was 5 lbs., 9 oz!!!! He was in the 21%tile for growth, and was measuring where a 34-35 gestational age baby would be, even though he's 37 weeks. That's ok, though, the measurements *aren't* exact and even if they were, that's not *too* far off the reservation. Next week, when we go back, they will just check to make sure he's breathing and moving and won't assess growth. I'll be ok with that. I guess.

When we got home, John pulled out his super-duper growth curve chart that includes something polynomial or something like that (that brain of his...I'm still always impressed by his amazing brain) and charted Matthew's weight and it was right where it should have been and maybe a bit above. Long story short, at this point, he is not IUGR, certainly won't be a very low birth weight baby and probably not even a low birth weight baby. He may be SGA, but that's not a big deal at all.

Matthew's line is the one that breaks off on the top. I tried for an hour to use Photoshop to put an arrow in and finally gave up because every time I put an arrow in, the whole picture would turn to a grey and white checked box and I just don't have the patience to figure that out. I know, I know...I have Photoshop for Dummies upstairs but frankly, I'm too aggravated. I don't understand most of this, but the part I like the best is that for him to not be Low Birth Weight, he'd have to be at that little blue triangle at 40 weeks. He's there now, at 37. I of course wouldn't question John's math, but the doctor's numbers yesterday said he was measuring about 35 weeks. SGA must be some specific differences.

He's breathing up a storm! I admit--for all the reading, reading, reading and more reading I've been doing for the last, oh 10+ years, when the tech said, "He sure is happy and moving around and doing a great job of breathing!" I thought, "Well, duh. Of course he's breathing. He'd be dead if he wasn't." Ummmm....no....he's just practicing. He's getting all his oxygen through me still and the cord was very blood enriched and nowhere near his neck. We were talking about him breathing in the car and John told me that his breathing was just practice and his oxygen came from me still. Again, that John...full of very useful info. I've been getting every week-to-week baby update known to man, and I guess I've glossed over the whole 'practice' breathing thing. His breathing is great, though, and his lungs are obviously doing a great job! He scored a 8/8 on the biophysical profile, so all was well there.

He also has HAIR! I have no idea how they can tell that stuff, but she was looking at his head and said, "Oh, he has some hair!" She showed us something on the screen and for the life of me, I couldn't see it, but then she said, "Oh...look...there's some fringe hair right at the bottom, right over his neck." So, Matthew may be born with a little old man-head, or a mullet. Grandma said that is definitely an Ennis hairstyle, and his daddy had that hair-do for a while too. I was born with a ton of hair, but then lost it rather quickly and didn't get any back for about 2 years. I can't wait to see it and even more, can't wait to see if it's curly!!!! However his hair is, it will be perfect, but I'd love some little curls!

As we walked out of the doctor's office, I felt bad that I had been a little frantic about him measuring small and the insistence that we check his growth. I told Dr. Sweeney I'd bring baked goods next week. Let me tell you, that Dr. Sweeney is great. He said, "Lori, let me tell you about a group of people I know pretty well. I like to call them 3rd Trimester, 1st-time moms whose babies have something a little less than perfect, like only one kidney. They're nervous and anxious and you are in good company. You're not bothering anyone!" Gotta love that man. John just laughed and laughed.

I still gave them the preference for chocolate chip or blueberry muffins...and may throw a little fudge in there for extra thanks.

After the appointment, we stopped at the mall to look for a camera bag and now that it's November (though I saw the first Christmas commercial on October 26), all the holiday stuff is out. We got the cutest little ornament and I can't wait to put it on the tree!

John woke up this morning and said, "Matthew, are you ready to come out now?"

I took the liberty of answering for him: "No, not today."

I don't feel so bad saying "I can't wait" though, because if he *is* born today, he'll be just fine!

Howloween

Well, Dixie was scheduled to have a big day today--agility this morning and the Golden Retriever Rescue group's Howloween party. I just *know* her skunk outfit would have been a big hit. Ha ha. Unfortunately, the weather has not cooperated at all so the party was cancelled. We did have agility this morning, and then I came home and made cookies and dog biscuits (before I knew the party was cancelled) and then decided we needed to try our new camera out on Dixie's costume. She can just as easily be humiliated without a party as she can with one. And bless her heart, humiliated she was...

This can't end well....

How humiliating...

I thought they loved me...

At least I'll hold my head high...

Now, before anyone goes and calls PETA on our abuse of her (Mala!), here's proof that she had a fun morning at agility class. She won't ever be a star, but she certainly gets good exercise and is good at some things. HATED the tunnel and didn't like the little A-walk up, but she rocks at jumps and the big A-Frame. Note the cream cheese bribes we had to use to get her to do some of the activities. That girl is s*p*o*i*l*e*d!

This morning before agility...she loves playing with daddy!

I do EVERYTHING to please my daddy! Are you happy, daddy?

Dixie and her Golden friend, puppy Annie

Doesn't she *look* like she's interested in the teacher?

Oh yeah, I ROCK the A-frame!

I'm a super jumper!

Doesn't the look on her face seem to say, "Yeah, right. Like I'm going to walk THIS,"?

"Well, maybe for some cream cheese..."

Even the trainer conceded to the cream cheese. Hey, whatever works.

"I'm only doing this tunnel for the cream cheese, you know!"

After a few tries (and several dabs of cream cheese), she made it all the way through the full tunnel.

She's had quite the day.

36 Weeks and holding (I hope!)....

36 weeks!! What an eventful day or two we've had!


Yesterday was what I thought would be our last specialist appointment with Dr. Sweeney. I was hoping for Matthew to be at least 5 lbs, which would still be small, but not under the 10th %tile, and that's what I was looking for. Well, you are 4 lbs., 13 oz, which puts you a *hair* under the 10th %tile...and made mommy cry like a baby right there. The poor sonographer didn't know what to do and kept saying, "You're little, it's ok...let's see what Dr. Sweeney says!" but it really didn't matter at that point because all I was thinking was IUGR and "My poor little peanut."


Dr. Sweeney, bless his heart, tried to make me feel better and said he would NOT diagnose Matthew as IUGR, but more SGA (small for gestational age) and considering I was little, little when I was born, have nieces and nephews who were little (though both of my sister's kids WERE IUGR), he was completely fine, just little. He told me the measurements for IUGR babies typically were disproportionate, and Matthew is proportionate--small--but proportionate. Then he said something that just made my day: "We'll just keep an eye on him every week until he's born just to make you feel better, but he's fine!" WOO HOO!! I wasn't even trying and I scored a weekly sonogram until he's born. That made me feel soooooooooooooooooooooo much better.

So, of course I feel terrible. John keeps telling me that to assign 'blame' for a little baby is ridiculous, but let's be real--I'm not assigning it--everyone else is! Every time someone tells me, "Well, Lori, you're little...what do you expect?" I hear, "If you were normal size, he'd be normal too," because that is essentially what it is. Now of course, I realize that there is NOTHING I can do about being bigger (Lord knows I have been trying for YEARS!) but no one wants to hear that their baby is at the bottom of a growth chart for no other reason but there is no room for it to grow. Who's fault is that? Um, yeah, that would be mine.


I'm over the initial disappointment about the visit, though, because IUGR sites/info all say that genetically small mothers who deliver genetically small babies are NOT the typical IUGR--and one can't change genetics. He has had a very healthy pregnancy, lots of good brain and growth food and choices (not just Lucky Charms, mom!!), more than adequate health care and attention and NO exposure to anything that would remotely hurt him. He's just little. And most IUGR and SGA babies end up catching up to average growth charts, so...it will be fine. Besides, in a few ounces or so (couple of days, even!) he should be at least 5 pounds and growth charts today are different because we as a society are bigger people; 30 some-odd years ago and he'd be just normal. I just hate that he's uncomfortable or scrunched or restricted because of me.


In other very fascinating news, he is HEAD DOWN! Spine up, too. I'm telling you, the acupuncture DID it. I would not ever have believed it myself, but I actually experienced it and KNOW that he had been breech and very cozy in the same position for about 29 weeks and ALL OF A SUDDEN, the DAY I get acupuncture done to specifically target him to turn for birth, he goes CRAZY and a few days later, is ready! Coincidence? Maybe, but awfully strong. I knew something had changed...for the last few days I told John that after sitting for a bit, it felt like someone had kneed me in the groin and HURT. Well, now we know that Mr. Matthew is head down and working with gravity and if I think *this* hurts, well....like I told John--find that anesthesiologist. Find him or her FAST and bribe them anyway he has to so that the pain is as little as possible! In fact, my birth plan?

• Get the baby out, as safely and quickly as possible, with as LITTLE PAIN to me.


• Emphasis on the LITTLE PAIN TO ME part.

As you can see, I'm pretty flexible.

After our appointment, we drove a bit further out and found a clinic giving the H1N1 vaccine. I am sooooooo glad that Jenny told me about this clinic--it was actually a very easy and mostly fast process--in and out within an hour and about 45 minutes of that was line waiting. We were pretty much at the beginning, and the weather wasn't bad and the process was pretty organized. I've debated for months, but really feel this was just a better idea than the alternative.

Since I had spent the better part of the afternoon crying and had to get a shot, John was very valiant and let me go use a Children's Place coupon I had as a pick-me-up, even though I readily admit, the baby needs NO clothes!! They had some of the cutest little outfits and some great deals. Here is a picture of the little splurge (it really wasn't bad, especially with the coupon!) outfit I got for him. Won't he be adorable in it?

If you're interested, I have a coupon code for them as well.

To sum up...the goal now for the next four weeks is to be off my feet as much as possible so Matthew doesn't bear down any more and wiggle his way out any sooner than he HAS to. If he grows in the next few weeks like he did in the last 4, he will be a little over 6 pounds, and that is JUST fine with me. If he goes early, well....he'll just be in good company with his cousins.

And what a blessing that my biggest worries are that he only has one kidney (TOTALLY manageable) and he's a little bit smaller right now. I'll stop complaining now.

Grateful...

Matthew,

You have been moving around like nothing I could have ever imagined! I don't know if it was the acupuncture or you just finally deciding you were going to check out the rest of the womb, you have been *such* a monkey! Last night, daddy got to watch you turn my stomach inside out and even feel your little fist punch my right side. He said, "It's like he's giving you a little punch." Umm, yep, daddy...JUST like that. And it hurts, too! Glad the lightbulb finally came on!

That said, I want you to know that the last few months have been such a blessing to me. I won't lie...we had infant CPR tonight (and dear Lord, I hope we NEVER need to use that with you!) and I was pretty uncomfortable...after, and now, I am REALLY uncomfortable. Daddy thinks you may be looking for that final birthing position. Maybe, but whatever--it hurts! And in light of that, and the swelling, and the back and the rib pain and more that I've whined about in the last few months, I cannot say enough how thankful to God I am for the miracle of YOU. Every second that you have been with me has been one that I am eternally grateful for and the mere thought of anything happening to you just puts me in such a panic.

I never thought I would be pregnant. Especially in the last few years as it just seemed less and less likely. I thought that on a night like tonight--fall-like outside and cozy inside--daddy and I would be playing with a little girl with black shiny pig-tails and maybe making some pumpkin cookies for Grandma. I even told myself that I would never live a day of regret if I didn't know what it felt like to ever be pregnant...and I still believe that.

I am forever, unabashedly and eternally grateful though, that God had different plans for us, and for you, and that I am blessed to be chosen as your mother. I thank God for every little second we've had together as you've grown, and know that once you're *here* I will miss not having you safely and snugly tucked inside me.

So...though daddy may tell you one day that I complained about being pregnant, know that even if I did, it's because it is TOUGH to grow a human being! That doesn't take away from how much I love you and love being pregnant with you! You should always know this...and remember when you grow up and have a wife and a little baby on the way! It's a miracle and I'm so very grateful.

For this child I have prayed, and the Lord has granted me what I asked. I Samuel 1:27