While yesterday was 17 weeks, today is the 28th. According to calendar dates, today would be the day I would prop Matthew up next to some cute little animal I had used every month since he was born to show how much bigger he'd gotten. Knowing me, he'd probably be wearing a shirt that had some wording on it, something like: "Four months rocks! Three is SO last month!"
Instead, his room is cold and empty. I'm not putting together an Easter basket for him, nor will he wear the sweet Easter sweater vest and hat that Mom and I got him several, several months ago. Our traditional family Easter picture may not even happen. I don't know that I'll be able to do it.
Like his room, at my core, I feel cold and empty too.
So I am so thankful that I have people who love me and check on me; call me and write me; continue to invite me to do something even though I often find some reason not to be able to; and simply just help carry me through.
You have no idea how thankful I am for each and every person in my life. I don't think I could sum it up any better than words that were sent to me by such a precious person (and I don't think she'd mind me sharing as they touched my heart so deeply today):
"My dear friend, I will continue to write you and tell you, but I know this is also a walk you must take in your own time. God knows that too. There is no rush. I will be just a few steps behind you as you take this walk. I will be your friend and I will watch for each stumble and for the times you fall to the ground. If the devil wants a spiritual battle...well, perhaps he doesn't know your family and friends."
I do. And boy, is he in trouble.