I really find it hard to believe I am writing about the last YEAR with my sweet Samuel Luke.
Especially because it is 4:02 in the morning and I am STILL trying to get a video of the past year I made put together.
Rather, it's put together but I need to clean space off my computer because my eight million and 4 pictures have stolen all my space.
Time consuming. But I'm still on Maui time, so it's ok.
Luke is back to regular time, though...so it could be rough in a few hours!
How is it possible that my sweet little boy is already a year old? How?
I just brought him home.
He just opened his eyes and saw his Mama.
He just mewed that sweet little Baby Kitty mew.
I just don't get it.
And because it is late, and I am tired, I don't have the energy to tell that precious boy of mine everything I want to tell him, but that's ok because I'll tell him the gist every day for the rest of my life:
He is precious.
He is healing.
He is magical.
He is bliss.
He is SUCH a good traveler.
He is not walking yet, but cruising all around and starting to stand on his own for a few seconds.
He has 6 teeth and working on two more...his bottom two and his top two and the two on either side of those are in, and the two on the side of THOSE are trying!
He is a great eater, when he wants to, and he'll at least TRY just about anything.
He'll immediately push right back out whatever he doesn't want.
His words are: Mama, Dada, Hi! Bye, Doggie, Bath and Baby.
Yep, pretty much the essentials, though I think he uses Doggie as much as mama and he also learned Zach (his cousin) this week.
He loved Maui. Not so much the sand, but eventually the pool and the little pebbles. They were delicious. BIG fan of the hot tub. The boy likes warm water! And loves, loves, loves fruity drinks with straws!
He is a great sleeper. He goes to sleep around 7ish and wakes around 7ish the next day. Sometimes wakes up in the night, but usually settles himself. We'll see how that goes when the paci goes bye-bye.
Naps are not on any schedule, but more certain periods of time since last wake-up. He really only fusses when he's ready for a nap, and then, it's not fussing as much as whining and clinging to mama.
Which I love. (Well, the clinging to mama part!)
His 12 month appointment is next week. He is 21 lbs, 7 oz. by our scale. Still low on the percentiles, but you'd NEVER know it by looking at him or picking him up. Someone in Maui called him a Sumo Baby.
He is just joy, joy, joy and more joy to my soul. He has helped my faith be restored.
Yes, I felt betrayed and disappointed by God. I think that would have been expected.
But if I hold God responsible for my feelings after Matthew died, then I must do the same for the last year with Luke.
And truly, my heart has been filled with a love so amazing and so deep that I simply cannot thank God enough.
I'll never know or understand why we've lived the years we've lived.
Or why they've been how they've been.
But I don't need to know.
Holding that precious little boy in my arms for the last year has been enough to tell me that God LOVES me so much.
How else could I have been so blessed with this amazing and wonderful little boy we call Luke?
Happy Birthday, sweet, sweet boy. You will never know what you mean to Mama, but I hope you believe that you are precious to me in a way that words simply can't do justice.
I love, love, love you.
I love you in the morning,
I love you in the night.
I love you when you're happy,
I love you when you fight.
I love you in the daytime,
And all the nighttime too.....
I love you, love you, love you...
I love you, YES I DO!