Incubator 6, Position 30

That's where 9 embryos of ours are happily (I assume?) growing and dividing.

When I got the call this morning, I'd outrageously expected to have maybe 6 doing what they are supposed to be doing at this point...to have doubled from yesterday and become 4-celled embryos.

So when the nurse (not Jackie, she's out today) said, "You had nine embryos with normal fertilization and they all look great.  They are all 4 cells," I about fell out of my skin.

She went on to say, "You'll be a 5 day transfer.  Thursday." and I got a little nervous.

I do 3-day transfers.

I do them well.

I told her 5 days makes me nervous and she said, "But that's the best chance for success."

Or total failure, because what if NONE of them get to 5 days?

Then again...what if ALL of them get to 5 days??????????????????

What in the WORLD are we doing?  I was walking Luke today with Lola and it was so gorgeous.  Warm and sunny, he was giggly and happy.

I have a pretty easy life.  A great life.  One might say a perfect life if they didn't know better.

This has all been unfolding so miraculously, for lack of a better word, I have to say that now I'm feeling like the water is very muddy.

IF we make it to 5 day and IF we have two blastocysts to transfer, that is where we will face a HUGE decision.

Transfer one or two.

We transferred two beautiful 8-celled embryos with both Matthew and Luke.

Transferring two embryos is not a guarantee that two will implant.

Heck, transferring one is no guarantee.  Or 8.  (NOT happening, though!)

There's a much higher chance of success, though, when there is a 5 day transfer, and to transfer two?

I have to say, I'm a bit sick to my stomach thinking about all of this.

So, if you pray, please pray for the right decisions, should we need to make them.  Pray for our little embryos in incubator number 6.

And remember, as much as I'd love two more children....a twin pregnancy is risky.  And carries a lot of opportunity for heartache.  Joy, of course...but more risk of heartache and I don't know that I'd really feel good in my skin knowing that we purposely brought more of that onto ourselves and into our family.

Anyway...hormonal rambling.  Thanks for your prayers and the many, many likes and messages on facebook and emails and blog comments.  So, so appreciated!