Shady Grove, I Love You!

Yes, it's true.

I love them.

I have loved them for nearly 3 years now, and every day—whether it's when I watch something amazing Luke does, or look at my pictures of Matthew, or just when someone from there tells me something nice—I just am so thankful we chose them.

We were going to go to Walter Reed.  We were all signed up, had plunked down the money for orientation and gone to it...all the testing done and everything.  Just when we were about to start, John said, "Let's adopt.  That's at least a sure thing."

Ahem.

ANYway...Mom knew friends who'd used Shady Grove (not to mention that if you live within a million miles of Northern Virginia/DC/MD area, you hear their ads on the radio ALL.THE.TIME) and suggested we at least look into them. Frankly, I didn't think we could afford it.  (And really, still very thankful for the blessing we have in the opportunities.)  And even if we could, I felt like we'd get just the same deal at Walter Reed for FAR less money (about 1/6th the money!)  But, when we just pretty much KNEW that Kyrgyzstan was not going to happen for us, I called.  I talked to Rhonda.  Yep, I remember her (and really love her!) because she talked to me like I was the only patient they had in the office...that she had all the time in the world for me.  I figured it must be some small outfit after all, if that could be happening, and when we went and saw how big a practice it was, I realized just how great Rhonda's customer service was!

When we were going through Matthew's cycle, they were amazing.  My nurse then was Sarah, and I liked her so much!  She was down to earth and smart, and though she recommended I HypnoBirth (ummmmm...I don't relax well AT.ALL!) I thought she was awesome.  Dr. Kipersztok treated us like he was a family member and I though I initially thought he might not be high-strung enough for me (ha ha), he obviously was perfect for us.

Hand picked by God.

I remember finding out that Sarah left shortly after we started and Jackie became our new nurse.  She too was amazing, and never ever makes me feel neurotic, contrary to the mass quantities of messages I leave her that would lead one to believe otherwise!  When Matthew died, it was Rhonda who answered the phone when I called.  She cried with us.  She put me through to Jackie, who also cried with us, and immediately put us through with Dr. K., who...you guessed it...cried with us.

And gave us hope.

They were amazing with our frozen cycle (sweet little Yellow Fish!) and just PHENOMENAL with Luke's cycle. (We are SO spoiled by amazing caregivers!)  When we had Luke, they came to visit us and they looked as if he was one of their very own family members!  It was like a family reunion when we met to do the tv interview back in April and May.  They kept saying, "Ok...we'll see you soon, right?!" like we'd do another cycle soon.  "Umm...yeah, right!" I said.

Again, Ahem.

So now I am staying with Mom and going to the Fair Oaks office.  Amazing there too!  I was waiting to check out this morning and the nicest gal (her name was also Lori...must be in the name?!) pulled me aside and said, "I just want you to know you are sort of like a celebrity to us!  We are so excited for you and so inspired by your story.  Just wanted to let you know how happy we were for you!"

I couldn't believe she had any idea of who I was, and when I said, "How do you know who I am?"  she answered, "We saw your news story at our corporate annual retreat!  There was not a dry eye in the house!  You are such an inspiration!"

I gave her thanks, of course...and then I teared up a good bit and bit my lip to try and keep it together!   Rhonda had told me that they had played our newsclip at their retreat, but I thought she was just talking about the Annapolis office.  Nope, their whole outfit's retreat, apparently!  And this woman recognized me, for Pete's sake!!

Unbelievable.  They are just too, too kind to us.

I saw Dr. Greenhouse this morning for the initial monitoring since I started the stims.  I told him he probably didn't know me, but that he was one of my favorite doctors since he'd done Matthew's transfer and Luke's retrieval.  He was very kind and said, "I know you!" (I guess I sort of know why now!)  He and the sono tech (who was super nice too, and a graduate of ECU, Lindsay Jones!) said that everything was looking fabulous.  I had 18 follicles (EIGHTEEN!!!!) and when Jackie called me today with my estrogen level, it was 182...which was the highest of any cycle I've done so far and anything over 100 is great for this point in the cycle.  I'm on track for a retrieval on or about the 27th (EEK!) and that'd be great because John should be able to come up after all (even for the day) and be with me a bit.

It all feels like a brand new sleeping bag that is just gently unrolling exactly like it should be.

Which, I won't lie, makes me a bit nervous.

I know of another situation that was just picture perfect until out of the blue, it wasn't.  In a big way.
That one haunts me.

In thinking about that, though, I have to say this.  I think the biggest thing that would upset me if this cycle didn't end in pregnancy would be losing the money we have had to pay for the medicine.  I know, I know..petty...just money...but still. (For the record, it's a good bit of money since TRICARE covers NONE of it.  Thanks, TRICARE!)

As much as I would LOVE (and I mean LOVE!) another baby in our lives...

...Luke is enough.

He is.  He is amazing and wonderful and fills my heart in the most precious way.

It feels weird to say that he's enough...like saying that means that I don't really even need Matthew to be happy because I have Luke.

Of course that is SO not what I mean.

I guess it just means I've accepted that Luke may be all I get to raise on this earth.

And that, in and of itself, is such a tremendous gift and honor and privilege and blessing.

It's enough.  Until I get to Heaven, it's enough.