Was This The Shoe?

So, you know me...always waiting for the other shoe to drop.

Well, it may just drop tomorrow.

Again, Jackie told me not to worry yet.  "We've come too far to cancel this cycle."

Yeah, well....This morning, when talking to the doctor (who is not my regular doctor, but has been seeing me since I've been monitoring at Fair Oaks) after she mentioned I was quite the estrogen over-achiever, I said, "Yeah...when I triggered with Luke's cycle, my estrogen spiked from like 1800something to 4000."

She responded with, "Yeah, but we didn't do that cycle, did we?"

Um.  Yes.  You did.  Remember?  We were just talking about how our news clip was played at your annual retreat and it had LUKE in it?

Anyway.  That was enough to tell me that she was not fond of that 4000 estrogen level.

It was 3385 today.  Even after my medicine being decreased AGAIN last night.

The doctor this morning also thought I'd very probably trigger tonight but I didn't.  My follicles are just not mature enough.  When I triggered with Luke, my leads/measurables were 21, 19, 19, 18, 17 mm ish.  I had 16 follicles retrieved.  FOUR fertilized.

Today, my leads/measurables were 18, 19, 19, 17, 16, 15 mm ish.  With THAT high an estrogen level.

Today it was confirmed that I am DEFINITELY stimming like a PCOSer.

Which really doesn't make any difference...that's why we are doing IVF, right?  To get that perfect, perfect little embryo to hang out and grow for about 9 months or so in my tummy.  Regardless of the diagnosis or symptomology or whatever.

I'm on a high-protein, low carb diet.  Milk and potato chips (for the salt!).  Gatorade.  Taking it easy.  Protecting my abdomen.  Making sure I take my asthma medicines and use my inhaler so my breathing doesn't get affected.

PRAYING that tomorrow my estrogen isn't so high that they cancel this cycle.

And that my follicles are mature enough. (Medicine was decreased again tonight.  Hope it's not decreased so much that it doesn't mature the follicles enough.)

Like I said...was this the other shoe?  It was all going so great and now at the last minute could crash?

Because I know what that is like, and frankly...
I'd rather not have more.