Friday, January 27, 2012

Twenty-Six Months...

...that's how old he'd be tomorrow.  Really, I can't even imagine what he'd be like.

Sadly, he's forever etched in my mind as he was that day.

And images of what he might be are pretty much taken over by what Luke is and will be like.  What he's like now.  How I can base predictions on how he'll grow and change on the previous year's worth of life we've been blessed to experience with him.

You know what comes next.

Sigh.

The 28th day of the month always triggers one of those little, "There's something about today," things in my head, and tomorrow is no different, other than tomorrow is also the day we go in for our third retrieval in a little less than as many years.

I haven't really been nervous about it up until the last week and the whole estrogen/OHSS issues popping up.  I feel ok, though I look about 3 months pregnant already and really have no appetite at all.  I triggered last night, so all that HCG is adding to the mix.

But I am a little uneasy about what's going to be retrieved.  And whether or not they'll be mature.  And even if they are, they fertilize normally.  And then if they'll grow ok.  I don't have fabulous fertilization rates.

So, we'll see.

We'll see.

7 comments:

  1. Yes, we'll see ... and we'll pray and we'll love you all no matter. But we have hope. And we think about Matthew and Luke and new baby and thank God for what is and what can be. Peace, Mama, peace.

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  2. We will see...Matthew would be 26 months and Lily would be 22 months...I bet they're buddies in Heaven. I always think of you on the 28th of the month...and now a new friend of mine who is in my local support group and a new blogger (www.mommyandmarcellus.blogspot.com) had her son on October 28 and he lived for 11 days. So, the 28 is a day I remember for the both of you. By the way, in your header, your two sweet boys looks so much alike! Love you

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  3. Praying for you and always always thinking of you. Lilly passed away on the 28 of Feb so I have those same thoughts on the 28th. Lots of Hugs!,

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  4. Sweet boy forever in your heart. thinking of you today and hoping, hoping, hoping.. xo

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  5. I am so sorry for your loss. Wishing you the best for you current cycle. Visiting from ICLW.

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  6. Praying for you so much & hoping hoping.
    Thinking of you & your precious boys always.
    {{Hugs}}

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  7. it will work out.. it will work out... thinking of you and sending positive energy!

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