Monday, January 30, 2012

Incubator 6, Position 30

That's where 9 embryos of ours are happily (I assume?) growing and dividing.

When I got the call this morning, I'd outrageously expected to have maybe 6 doing what they are supposed to be doing at this point...to have doubled from yesterday and become 4-celled embryos.

So when the nurse (not Jackie, she's out today) said, "You had nine embryos with normal fertilization and they all look great.  They are all 4 cells," I about fell out of my skin.

She went on to say, "You'll be a 5 day transfer.  Thursday." and I got a little nervous.

I do 3-day transfers.

I do them well.

I told her 5 days makes me nervous and she said, "But that's the best chance for success."

Or total failure, because what if NONE of them get to 5 days?

Then again...what if ALL of them get to 5 days??????????????????

What in the WORLD are we doing?  I was walking Luke today with Lola and it was so gorgeous.  Warm and sunny, he was giggly and happy.

I have a pretty easy life.  A great life.  One might say a perfect life if they didn't know better.

This has all been unfolding so miraculously, for lack of a better word, I have to say that now I'm feeling like the water is very muddy.

IF we make it to 5 day and IF we have two blastocysts to transfer, that is where we will face a HUGE decision.

Transfer one or two.

We transferred two beautiful 8-celled embryos with both Matthew and Luke.

Transferring two embryos is not a guarantee that two will implant.

Heck, transferring one is no guarantee.  Or 8.  (NOT happening, though!)

There's a much higher chance of success, though, when there is a 5 day transfer, and to transfer two?

I have to say, I'm a bit sick to my stomach thinking about all of this.

So, if you pray, please pray for the right decisions, should we need to make them.  Pray for our little embryos in incubator number 6.

And remember, as much as I'd love two more children....a twin pregnancy is risky.  And carries a lot of opportunity for heartache.  Joy, of course...but more risk of heartache and I don't know that I'd really feel good in my skin knowing that we purposely brought more of that onto ourselves and into our family.

Anyway...hormonal rambling.  Thanks for your prayers and the many, many likes and messages on facebook and emails and blog comments.  So, so appreciated!


10 comments:

  1. Praying, praying, praying. Whatever is 'right" and "best" for your family!

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  2. Praying for everything & that God blesses you , a wonderful relaxed pregnancy & healthy baby or babies. Excited for all of you & knowing that God is so very Good.

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  3. Praying God will give your clarity and peace to move forward with whatever the correct number is for you at this time. Excited for you and your hopefully soon to be expanding waist line! :-D Remember God did not give you the spirit of fear!

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  4. Oh Lori,
    I don't know what to advise you to do, but Jessica and Andy did a shared risk cycle in Charleston(Southeastern Fertility Clinic) their donor had 38 EGGS!!! Jessica and Andy got 19, and the other couple got 19. Out of those 19 only 7 fertilized, 5 made it to "Snowbabies" and 2-5 day embryo's were put into Jessica. She has always done 3 day transfers, one with no success, and the second ending in miscarriage. She has never had a 5 day transfer, and NEVER any "Snowbabies" Maybe it is a sign, but regardless, God will guide you to make the right decision...Prayers, hope, and love coming your way...

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  5. I am lost on this terminogloy and how this all works but I will PRAY for you sweet mama for you guys to make the right choice. You will do great and I am so excited for you all! xoxoxo

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  6. I knew it!!! yay!!!!
    I understand the worry over transferring one or two.. and you know from my posts that a twin pregnancy is stressful as heck (look I censored myself lol!). Hoping (and dare I say praying!) that you will make the best decision for your family... XO!!!

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  7. I understand the nervousness! I would be a ball full of crazy if in your shoes!! I have always thought twins would be crazy but fun! Praying hard for you, that out of all of this God will bless you with however many babies he wants you to have. :-) ♥ I have a fellow blogger friend that had 3 transfered during FET and now she is 23 weeks with triplets. Maybe you will soon be a potential candadate for the show "Making Room For Multiples" =D Good luck Lori!

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