Tuesday, April 20, 2010

When the RE calls....

...you worry.

Well, I do. (Shock, I know.)

Normally, my nurse calls me every afternoon with the results of my blood work and ultrasound and tells me what dosage of medicine to take and when to go in next.

So, knowing this cycle is going soooooooo sloooooooooowwwwwwwwwwwwllllllyyyyy (especially compared to Matthew's cycle) and just having a bad feeling about it (and, admittedly, most anything that I pray goes my way these days)...getting a call from my wonderful Dr. K put a pit in my stomach.

He thanked me for an email I sent the other day raving about how much I loved that office. (I do. And I am a big believer in letting people you appreciate KNOW you appreciate them.) He then talked about how he's not worried...yet. I'm responding slowly, yes, and he'd like to be in the ultrasound tomorrow am (yet ANOTHER 4:30 am) so he could look at my ovaries himself and decide whether or not to increase my medicine. Now, if you have ever done IVF and if your clinic is anything like mine, you really don't see the doctor much at all. Oh, we see him every now and then (like really briefly this morning, where John and I both waved at him like we were giddy little school girls) but he really doesn't hang out much in the ultrasound room except for very specific purposes.

Tomorrow, his specific purpose will be to check out what my slow moving ovaries are doing.

We also talked about the whole ICSI thing. I'm not going into details about that other than they want to do it this time because of my hostile eggs. (That's what John and I have termed them.) He said that of the 12 retrieved with Matthew, they'd like to have seen 8 or 9 fertilized and I only had 6. (In fairness to my hostile eggs, my eggs may be hostile but when they 'open the door', so to speak, they allow FABULOUS work, and anyone can take one look at Matthew's picture and know I speak the truth.) So...I feel a bit better about that whole process now that I've talked to him and gotten the validation from him that my eggs, for whatever reason--age, PCOS, too much LH, today is Tuesday--are maybe a little problematic.

I prefer selective.


Anyway, as soon as I got off the phone with him, I called John, feeling 1000% vindicated that *this* cycle is just . not . right. Something's off. Something's different. Just a bad feeling. I almost even had him believing me because even HE knows that the Dr. getting involved may mean something.

Until Jackie called. Jackie, my super nurse.

She didn't even KNOW Dr.K had called. She said things looked fine. Estrogen was going up (673) and I had great lining (10.8) and maybe close to 19 follicles. She said that he would have told her if something was wrong or he was worried and he was probably just trying to do what they like to do--which is make every patient feel like they are uniquely thought about and pondered over and worthy of a personal phone call or two (or several, in our case). Even (gasp) checking your 'routine' ultrasound out every now and then. I *may* have to increase medicine dosage, but no one is really worried. (Save me. Remember, I'm always worried. Working on that by the minute.)

So, I called John back and we both agreed that maybe Dr. K just thought it was nice of me to send an email and wanted to check my file out (he's been out of the office a few days) and give me some personal attention.

Again, I can't say how much I love that place.

So...back tomorrow. And probably Thursday. And probably Friday. And maybe Saturday. And hopefully a retrieval maybe Sunday or Monday.

We'll see.


  1. praying, praying, praying!!!!!!!!!

    gotta love a dr. who gives personal attention no matter what his reasons are!!! how great!

  2. I'm going with, "He's giving you some personal attention." Don't know whether that's a tomato or a toMAHto.

    Prayers for your ever-decreasing worries, comfort, and strength.

  3. He's a great doc. My husband is one of those great docs that likes to chat without checking a watch (hence some of "I'll be home a little late tonight honey's"). Doc's like these are extremly rare. I know it must be diffiuclt, given what you have been through, but try to trust that he's just a doc that God has blessed you with to walk with you on this journey.
    God Bless, and as always, prayers are going up.

  4. Thanks so much for keeping us updated! And maybe he DID just want to add a personal touch! And I'm glad no one at the clinic is worried. You shouldn't worry either! I know, pot meet kettle, right? DH and I were just saying today that I like to sit around and think up things to worry about. But I'm glad you are working about it. And praying for you!!!!

  5. IVF is such a roller coaster. You might not feel things are going right, but I have a VERY VERY good feeling about this cycle. I just do :).

  6. Hey Lori,
    I pray things go well , better than well at your appointment tomorrow. Sending you hugs and love.

  7. It sounds like such a lovely office; such a caring doctor and nurse can make such a difference. Wishing and hoping and praying for you!

  8. It is so hard not to worry when going through a cycle. I am happy that you love your doctor's office and are comfortable with them. I am hoping that you have a successful cycle and my fingers are crossed for you!! xx

  9. Praying for a successful cycle!

  10. That is a great doctor. 19 is a great number!! I was a VERY slow stimmer with my cycle. I stimmed for 16 days! I have been praying that this cycle will be great.

  11. Hoping for the best possible results, Lori! Sending you big hugs and some virtual caffeine (since you prob. are not drinking coffee?). I am glad you have an office that is looking out for you and that you feel supported by. It sounds so important during this rollercoaster process. Much love to you, J

  12. I haven't posted lately, but do visit often and continue to send many positive thoughts your way. Jackie

  13. praying, lori!!!

    i was a slooooow stimmer, too...halfway through the cycle they decided to up my dosages. and i don't think i ever had more than 19 follicles, either.

    i'm praying for nice, big mature follicles!

  14. I am so glad you have such an awesome doc and staff (except Ms. Not-So-Nice-US lady). Prayers for the upcoming days for you. I'm glad you got some peace & peeks of fairness at the retreat...i've been offline a few days and I'm just now catching up with you.

    And as for worrying...(here's the pot calling the kettle black!) "Be anxious for nothing". that was my mantra though our loss/trying again. ((hugs))