Well, I do. (Shock, I know.)
Normally, my nurse calls me every afternoon with the results of my blood work and ultrasound and tells me what dosage of medicine to take and when to go in next.
So, knowing this cycle is going soooooooo sloooooooooowwwwwwwwwwwwllllllyyyyy (especially compared to Matthew's cycle) and just having a bad feeling about it (and, admittedly, most anything that I pray goes my way these days)...getting a call from my wonderful Dr. K put a pit in my stomach.
He thanked me for an email I sent the other day raving about how much I loved that office. (I do. And I am a big believer in letting people you appreciate KNOW you appreciate them.) He then talked about how he's not worried...yet. I'm responding slowly, yes, and he'd like to be in the ultrasound tomorrow am (yet ANOTHER 4:30 am) so he could look at my ovaries himself and decide whether or not to increase my medicine. Now, if you have ever done IVF and if your clinic is anything like mine, you really don't see the doctor much at all. Oh, we see him every now and then (like really briefly this morning, where John and I both waved at him like we were giddy little school girls) but he really doesn't hang out much in the ultrasound room except for very specific purposes.
Tomorrow, his specific purpose will be to check out what my slow moving ovaries are doing.
We also talked about the whole ICSI thing. I'm not going into details about that other than they want to do it this time because of my hostile eggs. (That's what John and I have termed them.) He said that of the 12 retrieved with Matthew, they'd like to have seen 8 or 9 fertilized and I only had 6. (In fairness to my hostile eggs, my eggs may be hostile but when they 'open the door', so to speak, they allow FABULOUS work, and anyone can take one look at Matthew's picture and know I speak the truth.) So...I feel a bit better about that whole process now that I've talked to him and gotten the validation from him that my eggs, for whatever reason--age, PCOS, too much LH, today is Tuesday--are maybe a little problematic.
I prefer selective.
Anyway, as soon as I got off the phone with him, I called John, feeling 1000% vindicated that *this* cycle is just . not . right. Something's off. Something's different. Just a bad feeling. I almost even had him believing me because even HE knows that the Dr. getting involved may mean something.
Until Jackie called. Jackie, my super nurse.
She didn't even KNOW Dr.K had called. She said things looked fine. Estrogen was going up (673) and I had great lining (10.8) and maybe close to 19 follicles. She said that he would have told her if something was wrong or he was worried and he was probably just trying to do what they like to do--which is make every patient feel like they are uniquely thought about and pondered over and worthy of a personal phone call or two (or several, in our case). Even (gasp) checking your 'routine' ultrasound out every now and then. I *may* have to increase medicine dosage, but no one is really worried. (Save me. Remember, I'm always worried. Working on that by the minute.)
So, I called John back and we both agreed that maybe Dr. K just thought it was nice of me to send an email and wanted to check my file out (he's been out of the office a few days) and give me some personal attention.
Again, I can't say how much I love that place.
So...back tomorrow. And probably Thursday. And probably Friday. And maybe Saturday. And hopefully a retrieval maybe Sunday or Monday.