Monday, February 23, 2009

Work, ovaries, WORK!

Well, we had bloodwork and another ultrasound yesterday. Still 10 follicles, but nothing measurable. They actually tripled my bravelle and doubled my menopur and took me off the lupron because they thought it was doing too good a job of suppressing and not letting the stimulating drugs work. Well....I wish they'd have thought of that as I was taking the lupron in combination with $75 a vial (* 2 a night) medicines--I understand they are making sure I don't overstimulate, but I just feel like the last few days have been a waste and now I have to really put myself at risk because they upped me so much and took me off the lupron--and I may overstimulate. That's what has happened before. So, here's hoping that the ovaries work. Just right. I feel like Goldilocks. My E2 level was also pretty low, so again, I sort of teared up at the thought of this...things weren't working so well for us when my eggs were young and that they are older and uglier, I say, I am not putting a lot of faith in them.

So today I was pretty frustrated with my school librarian. She was talking to my class about how the term African American came to be (as it is Black History Month) and shared with me that students were sharing their 'heritages' and that we were all part American, part something else. One little girl shared she was Japanese American. Another's ancestors from Norway. She said she herself was Lithuanian/English but claims Lithuanian American because she's mostly Lithuanian. Then she asks me what my parent's ancestry is. I tell her Welsh/Scottish/English (that's my mom) and then she looks at me as if she is expecting more. "Is that all, she asks?" Well, would you like me to talk about my dad or the sperm donor, and isn't that fun in front of the kids?
So I just say, "Indian."
"Indian, Indian?" she asks?
"Yep. like Pakistan/India Indian."
"Oh, not like the Indians in Great Britain?"


THEN....she asks another little girl. This little girl is an adopted little girl who looks NOTHING like her parents. She was severely traumatized and abused as a younger girl (she's only 7 now) and as a result, is VERY quiet, introverted, reserved, fragile, you name it. And African American, though to me she looks as if she may have some Asian as well. Apparently to the librarian too, because she asks this little girl if there are any languages spoken at her house? The little girl says no, and then she pushes with, "Really? Not Cambodian or Laotian?"


For the first time, I actually saw what so many adoptive parents talk about with silly family tree projects and the pain it causes those kids and families. I've of course heard about it. But to see one of my little ones...just have no clue of what to sad.

In defense of my librarian...when I told her this little one's situation, she did her very best to make amends...and to let all know that the parents who take care of us and love us ARE our families and what family we belong to.

So much complication for little ones. As if their lives haven't been hard enough as they are...


  1. Praying that everything works this time and for you and your husband to have peace during all of the process. I'm excited for you!

    Yep I can relate to the librarian mishap and family tree projects. I relate as an adoptee myself but also as a teacher. I sincerely hope I didn't make any of my students uncomfortable with their unknown heritages either. Children are so vunerable- so sad about that little student's past. I can tell you are a great teacher for her and pray you will have great impact in her little life!

  2. I'm in such a foul (sick) mood, I'd have probably slapped the librarian. :-) People don't THINK do they?

  3. Unbelievable. Simply unbelievable. I hope you told her how inappropriate and insensitive her topic of discussion was. At least the little girl has a teacher with a heart like yours to soothe her.