Friday, January 9, 2009

Sorry if you are grossed out...


I am a TOTAL dog person. I love them. I'm pretty much an animal person in general, but I just LOVE dogs. I'm a dog person. Like cats, though allergic, but LOVE dogs. Have lots and lots of books about dogs...specifically flat-coated retrievers (like my beloved Random) and Golden Retrievers (like my babies). I watch dog shows. I read dog books. I research dog things on the Internet. Puppy mills make me sick. I want to SHOOT the people who are heartless enough to have them and maintain (ha ha, what a word) them.

So, when Natgeo showed the dogs version of their show "In the Womb" (remember, I'm a glutton for punishment and watch things that torture me because they remind me of what I DON'T have) I tuned in. Thinking there was not going to be too much I didn't know, imagine my surprise when I learned about the "Mating Tie" (and, funnily enough, they used Goldens to illustrate) and actually SAW it.

Friends...this may be gross. And, I'm probably a weirdo for laughing at it. But what I saw on that tv tonight made me nearly pee my pants laughing. Now, I know we have all seen the proverbial 'humping' that dogs each other, our legs, inanimate objects, etc. For the most part, if this is not due to the desire to mate (like when a boy dog humps another boy dog) it is because that is how dogs show their dominance to another dog. "I can hump you, so you are mine." (sort of prison-like, huh?) I said, we have all probably seen the 'humping' that dogs do. But, did you know that it doesn't end with the humping? After the humping starts, THEN the dogs end up where the, um, boy part, if you will, um, well, swells, and um, stays stuck in the um, girl's part, and well, um, they sort of are stuck. For sometimes up to AN HOUR. This is to give the um, sperm, um, more of a chance. AND (and this is the part that made me laugh) the positioning of the mating tie (the dogs are hind end to hind end) allows them to BOTH be on the lookout for predators. BONUS!

Now friends, I know you are probably going to think I am one sick puppy *get it, puppy?* but I just can't stop giggling over the picture...I just put myself in that girl dog's feet and think, "ARE YOU KIDDING ME? You just did the humpty dance with me, whether I wanted you to or NOT and NOW you are going to stick around, with your swollen self, AND make me keep watch with you in case someone YOU are worried about comes and bothers US? WHAT THE HECK GOOD ARE YOU, boy dog, OTHER THAN BEING A PAIN IN MY PATOOTIE. LITERALLY."

I know. Weird, the things I laugh at, but I am still laughing. Here's a picture to see what it looks like. I guess the adage about learning something new every day sure does still hold true.

And, did you know that a golden retriever mama will eat the placenta to trigger some chemical in her body to produce milk? Good GRIEF. Maybe THAT'S why I have not been able to be pregnant. I don't know that I have the stomach for it.

But, boy...those little puppies sure are CUTE!

Oh, dear I sit here and type, the dogs' version just ended and the cats' version just started. Did you know that a male cat's, um, whichity-watchity, is BARBED? Yep, BARBED. It's to tear the girl cat's that OVULATION is induced. Yep, to INDUCE OVULATION, the BARBED woo-hoo CUTS the girl cat's innards.

Who knew that I'd be THANKFUL for Follistim injections?


  1. Don't you have something like Lifetime or Hallmark on your cable channels??? I'm certain they never cover things like this. *smile* Hey, your "word verification word"??? natal (as in baby -- it must be a sign!!!)

  2. Ha! This has me laughing too.
    Many years ago my sister had two dogs that decided to mate and she had no idea about the whole "getting stuck" part at the end. She called my mom crying and asking her what she should do because her dogs were stuck together. And the best part is... she had been trying to pull them apart! So much for keeping the predators away.

  3. I don't know if it is funny or sad that I actually knew both of the facts you just so hilariouslu reported to us all! I have lots of strange factoids in my brain and you just covered in humorous depth two of them!