Sunday, October 19, 2008

Dear Emma,

Okay, so another thing mommy does is offer to do things for people because she really and truly loves people and wants to help as much as she can. With this, though, comes mommy's inability to BACK AWAY from projects she gets roped into and to say, "No, I can't do that. Sorry." Long story short, mommy is helping someone with an important paper. So I go and look on the Internet for something for the paper and do a Google search. (Will Google still be big when you can read this?) Up pops the part where Google brilliantly tells you there are documents on your own saved hard drive that might match your search. One comes up and I click on it because I am curious about how it might match "Vision Statement" as it highlights a post from your Grandma's blog back in 2001! (The grandma for whom you are named, by the way) Here is that post...and I, being the sap I told you yesterday that I was, couldn't help but cry. See, mommy still misses HER mommy very much, and is very happy to have you but unhappy that she doesn't get to see you and watch you grow. You are very lucky with your Grandma Ennis because I know she loves you very much. She's already made you a blankey and will buy the crib you have sweet dreams in... I just wish you could know how much your Grandma Jane would love you too. AND, Grandma Jane knew how much I wanted you way back in 2001! I have always wanted you. For about as long as I can remember. I just didn't know the path I'd take to get you...but that's ok, because if that is what daddy and I have to get you, we are glad to do so. Anyway, the post from Grandma Jane...she sure was technological WAY before I was and quite funny too. In this post, she was missing me and your daddy at Christmas, and letting her feelings be known. (She was good at that!) But she sure knew how much I loved my nieces and nephews and kids and you, and I'm glad I found this post to remind me! Emma, it is amazing how God talks to us, but don't ever think He doesn't. In addition to this letter, there is a Bible quote that another friend waiting for her boys to come home posted and it made me think so much of is Habakkuk 2:3 and goes..."But these things I plan won’t happen right away. Slowly, steadily, surely, the time approaches when the vision will be fulfilled. If it seems slow, wait patiently, for it will surely take place. It will not be delayed." (NLT) Pumpkin, God talked to me through that verse today and told me the worries I have about getting to you are for naught...surely it will take place. Then, He talked to me again through Grandma's post...reminding me that you were wanted and loved before I knew it was you. Here's what she had to say...
No call has come in. Lori and her Marine are in Germany this morning. I'm in a pouting mood. I subtly got the message across that one does not leave their family for foreign shores at Christmas without being forced. Well, maybe I wasn't that subtle about it. On the one hand, I am angry. About 80%, I'll say. On the other, I am excited for her that she has the opportunity that I would never have even dreamed of. Still, tradition is tradition and my last words to her as they shuttled to their plane at the airport (?) were "I love you anyway. Merry Christmas." And no phone call. She said quote "I'll call you when we get to Frankfort."unquote
She's with a Marine. Why should I worry? A pilot Marine, to boot. I asked him to put in a word with the pilot -- pilot to pilot -- to be very careful. He just laughed and said, "I will." Suppose he thought I was joking.
On the good side of today's news comes a "tool bench" from this very same set of children. It's for the grandkid whom Lori works very hard to spoil. Over 100 pieces in a very large box. The little guy just doesn't know how good he's got it. She loves kids -- and wants one. Til she gets one, I think she's going to just overload her niece and nephew with love, affection, and "stuff." Bless her. She was having problems in her profession, adjusting to the notion that all children do not have an equal footing in the socio-economic world nor the intellectually-capable world but I think she's adjusting to that very well. This year, she says, her class is perfect. "I love my kids." She loved em' last year, too, but just not the burdens many of them carried.
So... with her away, it will be us. Me, Jim, Jimmy, and Heather and co. That will do. Next year, according to the flying Fraulein, "we're staying home." Muttered something about someone laying a huge guilt trip on them. Wonder who that was? Semper Fi. We love Marines at our house.

Yes, Grandma Jane was funny. Or at least thought she was! J

I love you, pumpkin!

And yes, again...crying.

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