Wednesday, March 5, 2008

"One is the lonliest number..."

I got an email today from our caseworker and she told me that adopting siblings is rare (unless they're older) and in Kyrgz, non-siblings at the same time is not usual. So, we would basically have to do concurrent contracts to have two non-siblings and again, at $40K a pop, not workable right now. I was even looking into waiting foster children here in the US, but nothing really panning out for what John and I would be able to tackle together. At this time, at least. So....A said we would work on our referral for one and see what sibling options exist at that time. Okay. I am content with that, as maybe that's just what we are supposed to be doing anyway.

The boards were HOT today! People arguing about insensitive comments, boy / girl..whew! I love, though, that people are posting some of the comments they have heard that are just appalling when being said, but as pre-adoptive (or adoptive) parents, in hindsight are just moronically funny! "How much did she cost? (She's priceless, thanks!) "What do you know about her real parents?" (Um, we are moving hell on earth to bring her home--that's all we need to know about her REAL parents) My all-time favorite? "Just wait, you'll get pregnant now, just watch." Even my allergist (whom I LOVE) said that. Ha ha. The way I figure it, none of the costly, painful and futile treatments that we put ourselves (myself, ha ha) through didn't work when my eggs were young and pretty. Why should they work now when I'm older, more tired, more stressed, and frankly, not the least bit interested in morning sickness? Seriously, do people even think before they speak anymore? Heck, along the lines of insensitivity, I speak personally! How many times have I heard, "What are you? (An insulted human, thanks so much) or "What are you mixed with?" (Nanci, loved "not a chemistry set!) My flesh, blood and bones mother looked entirely and totally opposite of me and my whole flipping life people thought I was the cute kid she must have been babysitting. I've dealt with ignorance my whole life. In a way, I do worry about international adopting because in truth, I know how much those little comments hurt (and build up into big hurts) and I feel sort of bad purposely putting a child into the very same situation I've dealt with. On the same note, who better to help a child cope than one who knows?

For the record, I have learned a new term from an Oprah show--donor conceived. That's what I am now calling myself. Do I know anything about the donor? Yep. He was of Indian descent, and a jerk. (The two are NOT mingled, just putting it out there for those who want to know but are polite enough to NOT ask) Now, about my dad. I look just like him. How's that for irony?

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