Miney's Nine(y) Weeks....

For 38 weeks and 4 days, I lived for Thursdays. Thursday was a new week, Matthew was doing something new and great and I loved every new Thursday. During the last 5 weeks of my pregnancy with him, I loved Mondays and Thursdays--Mondays were our visit with Dr. Sweeney (pictures and hearing he looked like a million bucks!!!!) and Thursdays were with Drs. Shonekan or Polko (hearing he was nice and comfy and planning on December, oy!). Mondays and Thursdays made the weeks go by faster and I was just so excited and SO ready to meet that precious boy!

I look back at this time last year with Matthew and am just so wistful. It was our first OB appointment and even then, I was pretty sure it was a c-section for me. Why, why, WHY didn't I trust MY gut? Why didn't I trust MY instincts? Even if they were for TOTALLY different reasons, why didn't I stick to my guns???? In that post, I went on and on about how *I* was the most important person on Team Baby and while I'd certainly take all expert advice and suggestions into great consideration, ultimate decisions would be mine.

And I caved. And he's dead. And I just have to let that go.

Working on that.

ANYWAY--so Miney was 9 weeks yesterday and tomorrow is his or her first appointment with Dr. Polko. I haven't seen her since our post-partum on January 17. It was very, very hard--but she was so wonderful--compassionate and caring and taking Matthew's picture for her wall and giving us his baby spoon. I know tomorrow will be emotional.

I've decided that Dr. Sweeney and his office need brownies or some other baked goods more often than every other week. Which is code for, "I need more reassurance than an ultrasound every two weeks." I may be cashing in on all the offers to help me with anything or keep me company on those trips to Annapolis because I just need the reassurance. I've been having some cramping for the past few days that I am sure is nothing but growth, but I am still a bit worried. I also am continuing to lose weight...at this time with Matthew, I was VISIBLY pregnant and this is my second with still VERY relaxed stomach muscles and nada.

They say call your doctor if there's severe cramping, bleeding or concern that doesn't abate.

Ummmm, I'd be calling the doctor every day. The concern does NOT ever abate. Even in my dreams (which seem to have some sort of miscarrying event at least 3 times a week), the concern is there and vivid.

In any event, I keep my mantra--"This one, she will keep," on repeat in my head and am glad to see the doctor tomorrow. Hoping her doppler will pick up the heartbeat as mine is not yet. Then 5 days later, we see Dr. Sweeney and I will feel MUCH better with pictures and hearing the heartbeat!

ADDED ABOUT 20 MINUTES AFTER I POSTED THIS: Last night, John and I tried to use the doppler. It was very staticky and didn't pick anything up, really...not even me. It was sketchy to say the least, though for about 15 seconds, we thought we caught it and it was around 163.

So, after I posted the above (and below), I decided to see if my full bladder would help make it easier to hear. I tried to look for it in the same spot as last night and today was much better. I'm 99.9% I heard it, though it was hard to find and didn't stay long. It's behind my woosh-woosh-woosh, but definitely a faster little pattern--like a little train trucking along!!

SERIOUSLY, HUGE shout-out to Hi-bebe 2000!!! YOU ROCK!

Here's the 411 on what's going on with Little Bit right now:

	Week 9: Fingers and Toes form
	You are in week nine of pregnancy. (seven weeks from conception) The embryo has grown to measure 30 mm (1.2 inches) in length. The fingers and toes are well defined. Cartilage and bones begin to form. The upper lip as well as the nose tip is being formed. The tongue begins to develop and the larynx is developing. The eyelids are developed, although they stay closed for several months. The main construction of the heart is complete. During this week of pregnancy your baby is now swimming round in a little bag of fluid. The arms and legs have lengthened. They fingers and toes are forming, but are still joined by webs of skin. They can flex their elbows and wrists. They are growing eyelids as well as forming their anus. The embryo is protected by the amniotic sac that is filled with fluid. Inside the embryo swims and moves gracefully. The embryo is now about 1 inch long. During this time of development, the baby's head appears much larger than the body because the brain is growing very rapidly. Brain waves can now be measured. The main construction of the heart is complete. Through its parchment thin skin, the baby's veins are clearly visible. During this week the ears, the teeth and the palate are continuing to form.