Tuesday, June 15, 2010

Miney's Nine(y) Weeks....

For 38 weeks and 4 days, I lived for Thursdays. Thursday was a new week, Matthew was doing something new and great and I loved every new Thursday. During the last 5 weeks of my pregnancy with him, I loved Mondays and Thursdays--Mondays were our visit with Dr. Sweeney (pictures and hearing he looked like a million bucks!!!!) and Thursdays were with Drs. Shonekan or Polko (hearing he was nice and comfy and planning on December, oy!). Mondays and Thursdays made the weeks go by faster and I was just so excited and SO ready to meet that precious boy!

I look back at this time last year with Matthew and am just so wistful. It was our first OB appointment and even then, I was pretty sure it was a c-section for me. Why, why, WHY didn't I trust MY gut? Why didn't I trust MY instincts? Even if they were for TOTALLY different reasons, why didn't I stick to my guns???? In that post, I went on and on about how *I* was the most important person on Team Baby and while I'd certainly take all expert advice and suggestions into great consideration, ultimate decisions would be mine.

And I caved. And he's dead. And I just have to let that go.

Working on that.

ANYWAY--so Miney was 9 weeks yesterday and tomorrow is his or her first appointment with Dr. Polko. I haven't seen her since our post-partum on January 17. It was very, very hard--but she was so wonderful--compassionate and caring and taking Matthew's picture for her wall and giving us his baby spoon. I know tomorrow will be emotional.

I've decided that Dr. Sweeney and his office need brownies or some other baked goods more often than every other week. Which is code for, "I need more reassurance than an ultrasound every two weeks." I may be cashing in on all the offers to help me with anything or keep me company on those trips to Annapolis because I just need the reassurance. I've been having some cramping for the past few days that I am sure is nothing but growth, but I am still a bit worried. I also am continuing to lose weight...at this time with Matthew, I was VISIBLY pregnant and this is my second with still VERY relaxed stomach muscles and nada.

They say call your doctor if there's severe cramping, bleeding or concern that doesn't abate.

Ummmm, I'd be calling the doctor every day. The concern does NOT ever abate. Even in my dreams (which seem to have some sort of miscarrying event at least 3 times a week), the concern is there and vivid.

In any event, I keep my mantra--"This one, she will keep," on repeat in my head and am glad to see the doctor tomorrow. Hoping her doppler will pick up the heartbeat as mine is not yet. Then 5 days later, we see Dr. Sweeney and I will feel MUCH better with pictures and hearing the heartbeat!

ADDED ABOUT 20 MINUTES AFTER I POSTED THIS: Last night, John and I tried to use the doppler. It was very staticky and didn't pick anything up, really...not even me. It was sketchy to say the least, though for about 15 seconds, we thought we caught it and it was around 163.

So, after I posted the above (and below), I decided to see if my full bladder would help make it easier to hear. I tried to look for it in the same spot as last night and today was much better. I'm 99.9% I heard it, though it was hard to find and didn't stay long. It's behind my woosh-woosh-woosh, but definitely a faster little pattern--like a little train trucking along!!

SERIOUSLY, HUGE shout-out to Hi-bebe 2000!!! YOU ROCK!

Here's the 411 on what's going on with Little Bit right now:

Week 9: Fingers and Toes form

You are in week nine of pregnancy. (seven weeks from conception)
  • The embryo has grown to measure 30 mm (1.2 inches) in length.
  • The fingers and toes are well defined. Cartilage and bones begin to form.
  • The upper lip as well as the nose tip is being formed.
  • The tongue begins to develop and the larynx is developing.
  • The eyelids are developed, although they stay closed for several months.
  • The main construction of the heart is complete.
6weeksDuring this week of pregnancy your baby is now swimming round in a little bag of fluid. The arms and legs have lengthened. They fingers and toes are forming, but are still joined by webs of skin. They can flex their elbows and wrists. They are growing eyelids as well as forming their anus. The embryo is protected by the amniotic sac that is filled with fluid. Inside the embryo swims and moves gracefully. The embryo is now about 1 inch long.

During this time of development, the baby's head appears much larger than the body because the brain is growing very rapidly. Brain waves can now be measured. The main construction of the heart is complete. Through its parchment thin skin, the baby's veins are clearly visible. During this week the ears, the teeth and the palate are continuing to form.


  1. For me it was Thursdays, that was always the new week. I'll be going back to the maternity department at 9 1/2 weeks and I'm expecting it to be tough...

    Wishing all good things for Miney and you.


  2. I love the updates Lori. Thank you for sharing the realness of how hard pregnancy is after loss. Glad to hear your looking forward to your appointment tomorrow. And you're right the worry never abates! So I'm always glad for a moment of peace that rises above the worry. :)

  3. I'm sure it is of little consolation but, I had that cramping too for all 3 pregnancies. They even did ultrasounds to check me out. I know there were weeks when I did call the OB every day. I can remember the nurse kindly telling me, "It's okay, honey. You're job security!"

  4. You are so sweet. Brownies!!! I can't wait to hear about the appointment tomorrow. I loved those days that I could look forward to. Miney is just doing awesome!!!

  5. So happy you have a doppler and could hear the heartbeat. I would be using that darn thing all the time! :) I know a lot of women that lose weight in the first trimester. Especially if you have been having morning sickness. I lost about 8 pounds with Emma and Chase then I gained it right when the 2nd trimester hit.

    So sweet that you make brownies for your office. I love that you have such a great relationship with them.

    Yay for 9 weeks!

  6. It was wednesdays for me :) Praying for ya chickie!

  7. That's exactly how my doppler was in the days before I could hear the hr steadily! I'd *think* I'd find it for a second, and then lose it. And then 2 days later I was hearing it loud and clear! So I hope this means you are getting close! I was 9 weeks 5 days the first time I heard it steadily.

    As for everything else, I know. *sigh* One thing I'm not sure whether I like or not is that Madelyn was born on a Friday, and my pregnancy week changes on Fridays this time. I guess in some ways it's easier to track both babies that way. My week changed with Madelyn on Thursdays.

    If you feel you need to go see the dr. more and they are willing to do that for you, I say go for it! Maybe I should start making brownies for the offices...I wonder if that would get me in more?? :)

  8. Oh and I've been crampy, crampy, crampy this time! I hear that part is worse the 2nd time around...

  9. Back when i was skinny with my first pregnancy what little fat I had moved around in like the first 2 or 3 weeks and nothing fit almost immediately. For number 2, even though I was in the same size clothes as before #1, I had a little extra padding that had already redistributed so the change wasn't as impressive. I am so excited to read about your family getting bigger.

  10. I'm so sorry about the c-section decision weighing on you. I'll bet you've been reassured up, down, left, and right by others about it - both before November and after. But that does only so much. Hindsight can be an awful, predatory thing. I pray some peace will be found.

    I hope tomorrow's appointment, despite the sense of deja vu and memories attached, is a good one and you leave in happy spirits. I'll be impressed if you manage bi-weekly (or weekly...) baked good contributions. I couldn't handle certain cooking smells or even being in the kitchen for most of the first trimester.

    I hope Miney continues to cooperate with the doppler. The little train noise...I thought of it as the Little Engine That Could because I liked the optimistic ring it had!

  11. You are so darn adorable and amazing at the same time. Thanks for the weekly lesson! You're certainly a dertermined woman--aren't you!

  12. Praying for a good appt tomorrow :) glad you caught a second of Miney's hb.

    I cramped awful w/my 3rd pg. I was a basketcase. I also had lots more braxton hicks w/her than I did w/my 1st after the twins.

    Prayers as always for PEACE.

  13. Nope, those fears don't go away, but we do our best to live in the moment :)

    So happy you found the whoosh, whoosh on the doppler...so sweet!

    Also, thank you a million times over for answering all of my quesions. Your comments reiterated so much of what I feel and made me feel "as normal as I can feel" right now. You are a true blessing in my life Lori and I send you love today and prayers always.


  14. I always look forward to the new week since I'm one more week closer to holding this baby.

    Don't worry too much about the weight or growth. This pregnancy could be different for you!! As long as your drs are ok with your weight gain and your growth I'd say you are doing good!

  15. It was Thursdays for me too...love you!

  16. So for Miney, it's Wednesdays! Yeah! I've been thinking of you and praying each day since you mentioned the cramping over the weekend. Looking forward to a wonderful update tomorrow! Dr. Polko is going to be so excited for you and John, I'm sure she will be gushing all over you:) Praying you rest well tonight dear friend.

  17. Was lovely to hear that you got the HB on the doppler - I am counting down the weeks until I can get to that stage...
    it is so bittersweet a rainbow pregnancy isn't it- you feel like you want to enjoy it - but something just niggles away at you ... all the what if's and maybe's... even when you hear/see it only calms you for the shortest of times :( ... we will get through this Lori... this time around will be different, subsequent pregnancies always are. As early as I am I am getting squished rib and growing pains already !!!! I panic, then calm down, then panic all in 5 minutes flat. Keep smiling, keep saying that mantra.... we are all praying for you and miney and sending you lots of love xxxx

  18. You and sweet Miney are always on my mind. So glad that you have a Doppler and that you were able to fin the hb. Love you!!

  19. How exciting about finding the heartbeat with your doppler! I hope that you get to find her heartbeat more often.

    Reassurance is always a good thing, I would be the same way if we got pregnant again. Praying as always for you.