I feel hateful. Angry. Mad. Scathing. Infuriated. Sarcastic. Bitter. Accusing. Vengeful.
I cannot believe how much I want to use the "F" word. Throw it at everything and anyone. Shout it at the top of my lungs and hurl it at the world. I detest this word, by the way. Really cannot stand it.
I am trying very hard to bite my tongue because it's just itching to snap. I'm talking super-sharp snapping. Nothing particular, and directed toward no one particular.
Just feel like I have all this venom on my tongue and I'm going to explode if I don't expel it.
But this is NOT who I am.
These are not feelings I like feeling, nor do I want to feel, nor do I believe are what God is having me feel.
I am not hateful.
I am not vengeful.
I am not bitter.
I am not ugly.
I am grateful. I am blessed. I am hopeful. I am loved. I am overwhelmed with joy. I am amazed at everything Luke does.
Once again, the sacred has been torn from me and still, I know I am Held.
I am grateful.
Grateful. Grateful. Grateful. Grateful.
THAT'S who I am.
Sent from my iPhone