What I see...

I see this picture and I see a miracle.

I see compassion and dedication fighting to keep my baby alive.

I see hope.

I see brown eyes from a blue-eyed daddy...so I know they are mine.

I see my chin.  My mother's chin.  My grandmother's chin.

I see a baby no one could ever believe would be buried a week later.

I see 10.5 years of dreams and prayers only hours away from the death...and the beginning of a completely different life than I ever pictured.

I see this picture and I see a miracle.

I see a little boy or girl looking out at his or her mommy for the last time.

I see 10 perfectly formed fingers and 10 perfectly formed toes waiting for mommy to kiss...but never to happen.

I see extravagant blessing in 12 weeks and two days.

I see more shock.

I see more heartache.

I see more devastation.

I see more love than I would think is humanly possible...but is.



And here's what God sees...

He sees restoration.

He sees every precious miracle.

He sees more hope.

He sees redemption of broken hearts.

He sees unbelievable love and commitment.

He sees pure bliss.

He sees gratitude.

He sees survival.

I know we'll survive.  We are.  We will.  We know what it feels like to want to take your last breath as you learn your child has taken his...and in the same lifetime, to beg God for as many years as He can possibly give with the most amazing and healing little blessing.  To hate every second of your existence...but a little over a year later, be so in love with your life that you can hardly believe it's yours.

Two and a half years later, to lose a piece of your heart again and still be so grateful for all you have that you are still pinching yourself to be sure what you have is really yours.

Thanking God I can see what He sees for me.  It seems like it will never come, but I know it exists.

I know it because this is what I see every day.

Okay...he doesn't eat sand every day...but those sweet brown eyes and delicious cheeks...I am so grateful those are mine to mother!!!!!