Now, before the title of this post makes one wonder what I am talking about, it's not as life-shattering as some may make it to be. Those who would make it to be a big deal can just stop reading now.
I'm talking about junk. And better yet, my patience with eating well wearing thin in favor of all the candies and junk throwing themselves shamelessly at me on a regular basis. In my car now, at any given time, are the following: Sour Jelly Belly jelly beans, ginormous boxes of rainbow flavored Nerds, Razzles, Necco candy wafers, Tic-Tacs of various flavors, chocolate covered raisins, A Handful of Everything trail mix, Sour Gummi worms and Fiber One bars. (See, even with all that junk, still watching my fiber intake!) Today, I had some of all of the above. Although I need to replace the Neccos and Jelly Bellies.
I realize that I do NOT need these things and I am not adding healthy weight to me or Matthew. I have now decided I do not care if I need them or not. I am not sleeping, can rarely find a comfortable position to sit/stand/live in, have ankles, hands and arms that are so swollen one would think I've spent the last two weeks being stung mercilessly over and over by killer bees, am sore morning, noon and night, and am tired of my toilet looking at me and saying, "You, again? Seriously?" every 10 minutes...which is about how frequently Matthew dances around in there and tricks me into thinking I need to go to the bathroom. Again. So I am indulging in some candy. You wanna make something of it?
So, now that *that's* out of the way....today was my 35 week appointment. Honestly, I don't even know why I go. I love, love, love the doctors I see and feel like they are highly competent. They just aren't very proactive, which is probably a good thing but SO not how I operate. For instance, when asking, "How are we going to know if his head is going to fit...you know, down there?" the reply was, "We won't until you go into labor and we see what you do." SO much for all this reading I've come across about doctors having the baby's head measurements and deciding whether or not the mom's pelvic measurements will match. My doctors say, "Eh...we'll see and deal with it then."
Or...in response to "My last specialist appointment is next Monday. After that, how are we going to keep track of his position so we know if we're going to have to do a C-section?" I hear, "Frankly, it doesn't matter until you go into labor, so when you go into labor, we'll check." Now, this DOES make sense to me, and I'm ok with that answer because I know babies turn the day they make their debuts...but it was just so..."Eh...we'll see and deal with it then."
Of course, he also went on to say, "We do this all the time. Every day. You have great questions, but don't worry." I understand that this is probably comforting to about 95% of pregnant women out there because he is VERY right...they DO deliver babies, all the time....every day. They are probably one of the most respected OB-GYN practices in the area. The thing is....I don't want to go into labor, spend an uncomfortable amount of time there, and then have people come to the realization that it's not going to work and I'll need a C-section ANYWAY. Talk about torture. So we came to the agreement that I wouldn't worry, I'd cross bridges as they come, and he was ok with me making sure that I would, under no circumstances, suffer through any labor I didn't have to if I was going to have to be C-section anyway. I can live with that.
As long as it's with some Sour Gummi worms.