Friday, October 23, 2009



You have been moving around like nothing I could have ever imagined! I don't know if it was the acupuncture or you just finally deciding you were going to check out the rest of the womb, you have been *such* a monkey! Last night, daddy got to watch you turn my stomach inside out and even feel your little fist punch my right side. He said, "It's like he's giving you a little punch." Umm, yep, daddy...JUST like that. And it hurts, too! Glad the lightbulb finally came on!

That said, I want you to know that the last few months have been such a blessing to me. I won't lie...we had infant CPR tonight (and dear Lord, I hope we NEVER need to use that with you!) and I was pretty uncomfortable...after, and now, I am REALLY uncomfortable. Daddy thinks you may be looking for that final birthing position. Maybe, but whatever--it hurts! And in light of that, and the swelling, and the back and the rib pain and more that I've whined about in the last few months, I cannot say enough how thankful to God I am for the miracle of YOU. Every second that you have been with me has been one that I am eternally grateful for and the mere thought of anything happening to you just puts me in such a panic.

I never thought I would be pregnant. Especially in the last few years as it just seemed less and less likely. I thought that on a night like tonight--fall-like outside and cozy inside--daddy and I would be playing with a little girl with black shiny pig-tails and maybe making some pumpkin cookies for Grandma. I even told myself that I would never live a day of regret if I didn't know what it felt like to ever be pregnant...and I still believe that.

I am forever, unabashedly and eternally grateful though, that God had different plans for us, and for you, and that I am blessed to be chosen as your mother. I thank God for every little second we've had together as you've grown, and know that once you're *here* I will miss not having you safely and snugly tucked inside me.

So...though daddy may tell you one day that I complained about being pregnant, know that even if I did, it's because it is TOUGH to grow a human being! That doesn't take away from how much I love you and love being pregnant with you! You should always know this...and remember when you grow up and have a wife and a little baby on the way! It's a miracle and I'm so very grateful.

For this child I have prayed, and the Lord has granted me what I asked. I Samuel 1:27


  1. Thank you for so eloquently expressing that you understand teh very "realness" of the adoptive family experience, that it is not second best :-)

  2. So Sweet! Matthew is going to be so blessed to have such a wonderful mommy like you and I know you feel blessed to be bringing a gift from God into this world. I cannot wait to see his little face.