34 Weeks...

I have to say that it has been a very fast 34 weeks that have gone by! Hard to believe...and though I am ok if he is born tomorrow (not really, haven't packed a bag yet even though John nags me about it on a daily basis), I'd like to see a few more weeks. Mainly because I am really starting to get freaked out about the delivery--in that it is going to hurt, regardless. Like my doctor said months ago, I'll pay now or pay later, but either way, I'll pay. Yep, that's starting to sink in for me.

So...what have I learned in 34 weeks? A few things...though I am sure I am not the only one who has learned these things as well. But, for posterity's sake, I'll try and remember a few.

1. Pregnant women are aware of the fact that they have become huge. They realize that it comes with the territory. When they say something about it, you don't need to feel worried about reinforcing what they just said. Half the time they are just amazed about it, the other half, they are sort of mourning those cute little outfits they can no longer wear. It doesn't mean that they are disappointed about that, or that they would trade their situation for all the money in the world. It just means they realize their body is very different than it's ever been and they are allowed to make all the comments in the world about it, so give them a break and let them say they are huge all they want. It may not seem huge to you, but it is to them, promise.
2. YOU, however, should NEVER offer a comment about huge they are FIRST. Then you are no longer reinforcing what they know, have said and see in the mirror each day, but are giving them something to obsess over. And being rude. So, thanks, anonymous person for telling me my face was fat. Duh. I see that every day. If I wanted to discuss that, I'd have mentioned it FIRST.
3. Stork parking rocks and don't think for one second that if you are parked there and shouldn't be, every pregnant woman you encounter doesn't have free reign to kick your butt and make a citizen's arrest. So, 19 year-old punk who sat in the car while your 19 year-old punk buddy bought the Wii game with one hand and barely kept his 4 year-old daughter (I assume) in his arms with the other and decided that qualified you for Stork parking--WRONG! Be glad there were a couple of stork parking spaces or you and I would have had a Come-to-Jesus. And you really, really wouldn't want to go there.
4. I can't say this about younger moms-to-be, but for us older gals who have been trying for years to have children, odds are we are pretty educated about a lot of things. For instance, when you see my feet swell and tell me that I need to watch my sodium, you may think you are helpful, but you are assuming that I don't know that ALREADY and that my sodium is the problem. Which it isn't. Don't think that I have not already spent countless hours researching the causes, creating flow-charts that depict various scenarios and diagnoses, and am already ON it, thanks. As a teacher, I realize that there's NO education better than actually going through the process, and I am very thankful for all the advice and suggestions, but please remember that I am pregnant--not incapable of reading or listening to my doctor. Moreover, as much as I know people mean well, insisting old wives' tales are gospel simply doesn't hold true. Let's remember that while everyone and their uncle thought Matthew was Molly, I knew otherwise.
5. Just because a pregnant woman gets upset, it does not mean her hormones are to blame. In fact, blame her getting upset on her hormones and you might as well dig your grave. Believe it or not, the same things she'd get upset over not-pregnant make her upset when she *is* pregnant, and for you to blame them on hormones is insulting and demeaning. Not to mention just plain wrong.
6. Sitting with your legs like you are straddling the back of a chair *is* lady-like if you are pregnant. Anyone who says otherwise can try sitting with a 30 lb. medicine ball in place of their lap and see how easy it is to do with legs together. Trust me, it isn't.
7. People feel that if you are going to put your belly out there (as if you have a choice!) it is their prerogative to rub it, touch it, feel it, and comment on it. While this doesn't bother me (ironically, since I am so not a fan of strangers' germs), I'm willing to bet there are a LOT of pregnant ladies it DOES bother. I'd suggest asking first, always.
8. Whatever Motherhood merchandiser thinks that maternity thongs are a must is NUTS. In fact, thank GOD for those lovely maternity briefs/granny panties. Probably my favorite maternity clothing items.
9. Men nest. I don't care what they say or how tough they want to come across. They nest. Often more than women. It's great.
10. There ARE cute things for boys. They are nowhere near available in the abundance that there is for girls, but they exist. Buy them when you see them, though!

Oh...there are more, but in rereading this, I realize I sound a bit hostile. I don't mean to, promise.

Maybe it's the hormones.