Scare Tactics At 35 Weeks...

I think anyone who knows me *in real life* pretty much knows I'm an overachieving type of gal. Whereas John is the "Why spend a weekend studying for a 99 when I can spend an hour or two and get a 90?" type--I'm cut from more of the, "Ummm...because you CAN...and SHOULD!" cloth.

Now, in fairness...in the nearly 18 years John and I have been together, I have come to at least appreciate his philosophy (especially when it means spending more time with me and less time doing something that may not mean a lot in the bigger scheme of things).

But I still like to go above and beyond as a general rule. And I like for my children to do so as well.

I was always so glad that Matthew not only passed his tests, but did really well! Breathing? Oh yeah. Amniotic fluid, even with only one kidney? Yep. Movement? Seriously!!! Tone? Super. I think part of my worry about him going down in growth percentiles as he did was maybe even my subconscious worrying about him not being at the top of everything he could be.

Luke has been a good boy for his mommy--passing everything with flying colors and even exceeding in big ways lots of little things that his brother didn't really seem too worried about. I worried Luke wouldn't move as much as Matthew because I'd freak out wondering if everything was ok and though Luke still doesn't move as much, he moves a TON and is a bit more predictable in his moving, so that's a nice little trade-off for me.

I've had ultrasounds every other week since Luke was 6 weeks. I started weekly ultrasounds at 30 weeks. Normally, he is all over the place and I worry they won't be able to get the things they need because he's so active. Yesterday's ultrasound took a good bit longer...the baby was sleeping, apparently, and since she was doing a biophysical profile, she wanted to see him moving and breathing and such. So, it took a bit. He still got an 8/8, but when Dr. Sweeney came in, I told him about how the monitor went off last week at Dr. Polko's and someone I didn't know came in and was asking all sorts of questions and such...then when I saw Dr. Polko, she asked, "So when's the next time you see Sweeney?"--a question she has NEVER asked. I had answered that it was just a few days later, and asked her if I needed to see him sooner and she told me, "No...just curious."

I found it odd, but she said all was fine and I trust my doctors. There is such reassurance in being able to believe them.

In telling Dr. Sweeney, though, he asked if it would make me feel a bit better if he put me on their NST monitor there. In reality, these non-stress tests are SOOO stressful to me, but seeing as HE'S never offered that either, I figured he wouldn't if there wasn't a purpose. Of course, he told me not to read too much into it, and it was just to reassure me, but still.

Well...the strip had a ton of accelerations, and no decelerations, but one of the points of the test is looking for at least 2 accelerations that last for at least 15 seconds or more in a 20 minute time period.

No such luck. His heart rate was pretty low the whole time, about 115-120, which is still very normal and expected this far in the game, but one of the nurses came in and said, "Wow, your baby likes to hang low."

No, he doesn't really.

They kept me on the monitor for 40 minutes, since he failed one part in the first 20, and still didn't have the accelerations she wanted by the end. She was very nice, though, and told me that it was not a big deal at all because the tracing was beautiful and he'd done fabulously on the biophysical profile.

I'd still have liked him to pass ALL the things with flying colors.

Dr. Sweeney said that non-reactive but reassuring NSTs happen all the time and the ultrasound findings and movements they saw were great information and more accurate of his well-being.

To quote one of my favorite movies about the word 'reassuring,' "I do not think that word means what you think it means."

I had two lollipops and a big glass of cold water and he still wouldn't keep his heart rate up higher. John just said that's because he's like his test pilot daddy--calm and cool.

Hmm. Anway....

We did another ultrasound after, though, and he was moving and more wiggly and Dr. Sweeney said he looked great.

Again, I have NO doubt that if he was the teeniest bit worried, he'd have me in labor and delivery before I could blink...so, though I'd prefer Luke to not scare mommy as much, no one else seemed worried (John included) so I won't either.

But I'm dying to see how he does at his NST this morning! It was scheduled for later in the week, but my Pensacola Girls are coming in starting tomorrow and I switched it!!!! For a while I thought it might be silly to have an ultrasound on Monday afternoon and an NST on Tuesday morning, but now, not so much....

The surgery is still scheduled for the 4th, but has been moved to 1 pm. That's just fine with me.

Again, hard to believe.

No weight gain this week either...still hovering between 20-22 pounds total...I think the doctors are just now starting to hope I put a bit more on, but Luke still seems to be growing just fine, so I'm not too worried. In truth, this is how I figured my pregnancy with Matthew would have gone--I have NEVER been able to really put any weight on, and was shocked with 50 pounds with Matthew. Not upset, just surprised. This is more of how my body usually is with weight gain, even in light of many increased calories.

Didn't think we'd get any more great pictures, but Dr. Sweeney was on a mission yesterday--looking to reassure me--and he got a sweet, sweet little smile. Can't wait to hold that boy and see that smile face to face!

UPDATE: So, he TOTALLY kicked booty this morning at his appointment. Granted, I gulped the cold water and popped bubble gum like it was going out of style, but he was ALL over the place...and his heartrate was great. It was in the 130s, like normally...and not like the 110-115 of yesterday. I was 'done' with that test in like 6 minutes. And he's been moving like gangbusters all day, even though I've been all over the place running errands. Think my boy is like his mama...a morning person who pretty much feels like crashing around 2:30-3:00!! Also found out that I am STILL measuring 'big'--about two weeks ahead. I didn't realize this has been the trend for most of the pregnancy because I'm always so focused on Luke's stats, but essentially, I'm measuring about two weeks ahead and have been for a while. Which makes me feel even way better about going early at 38 weeks. Might even be a good thing that I've been getting our bags for the hospital together. He might just decide to surprise us on his own at 37 weeks or so...then again, thanks to my friend Nia, I have to say I wouldn't be that surprised after all!

Rare profile where Luke doesn't have his hands by his face!

I'm NOT looking to cooperate, thanks!

Oh, alright...since mommy's having such a rough afternoon...I'll smile!

Here's what's going on with Luke this week:

Week Thirty Five: Reflexes are coordinated

You are 35 weeks pregnant. (fetal age 33 weeks) Your baby is now about 18.5 inches in length and weighs over 5.5 pounds. Baby is about 47cm crown to heel and weighs almost 2.7 Kg. The body of your baby is growing round due to developing fat layers. Your baby's reflexes are coordinated. Lungs are almost fully developed. About 90% of babies born this week survive. Most babies gain about half pound per week in the last month of pregnancy. Fat stores accumulate in the legs and arms. These layers of fat will help them regulate their body temperature. Baby still doesn't have enough fat deposits beneath its skin to keep warm outside your womb. If born now the baby would probably be put in an incubator, about 90% of babies born this week survive. Lungs are almost fully developed. Your baby's reflexes are coordinated, they turn their head, grasp firmly, and respond to sounds, light and touch. You should still feel movement every day. He or she is about 5 and a half pounds and growing fast, it is getting short of space in the womb. Your uterus has become more cramped, your baby's kicks and other movements less forceful. You may want to check on your baby's movements from time to time and do a kick count. Baby may push up against your ribs and make you a little breathless. Soon your baby's position changes to prepare itself for labor and delivery. The baby drops down in your pelvis and you will be able to breathe easily again.

27 Weeks Have Really Gone By?

Apparently so!

Yesterday we hit 27 weeks. John has a little countdown calendar that he scheduled for 38 weeks. I think it had a number in the low 70s as of yesterday left. 11 weeks. So much going on in those 11 weeks, too....so they will really fly.

Although I have to say, and I predicted it, I am getting more and more nervous.

Yesterday I reminded Dr. Sweeney of something he told me about 3 weeks before Matthew was born---I was worried because he kept going further and further down in the growth percentiles and everyone said it was just because I was small. I felt bad because I was being so overly worried and I didn't want to be a pain. He told me that he was very, very familiar with a group of 1st-time moms who worried about things that were a little less than perfect with their babies, and we were NOT bothering him at all with our (or my!) anxiety. Oh how we loved Dr. Sweeney even then!

So I told him now I was in a different group---second time mommies who had their first perfectly healthy baby die after a full-term birth and are terrified of something happening again. And bless that man's heart, he reminded us that our doctors are just as antsy as we are.

I know. It's because we all know that though everything looked GREAT yesterday, it can all change, for NO REASON, at the drop of a hat. It's not the things that I KNOW about that worry me....it's that one, crazy, odds-of-happening-are-nearly non-existent thing that has rocked my world before.

He told me I can't cry wolf too much. There's nothing they won't consider doing for my mental health. We'll go again in two weeks and then from that point on, weekly until about 36 weeks. Then every other day/daily to monitor development. (We're not doing an amnio to check for lung maturity before delivery.) Dr. Shonekan said I can start non-stress tests here at 32 weeks if I want. I do. It's going to be a lot of appointments and a lot of check-ups, but they go a long way for my peace of mind.

Luke WAS doing great! He was moving all around and my stomach just jumped all over the place. He's VERY head down (don't I know that!) and 2 lbs., 3 oz. and measured again in the 51st%tile! No vessels or any surprises between his head and my cervix (which was still long and way closed for business) and my placenta and fluid looked great. Perfectly textbook would be a lovely way to describe it.

Almost.

I have added another inch so the waist is now 38 inches, but still not much in the weight department. I was 113.6 the other day at the doctor's, but was wearing jeans and a long sweater. My regular nightly weigh-in is pretty consistent between 111-113, so I'll stick with 112 and am fine with that. The only reason I even care about my weight is because I'm just waiting to see swelling develop. I'm starting to have a teeny, tiny bit, but that's more because I need to drink more water, I think...At 27 weeks with Matthew, I weighed almost 10 pounds more than I do now and a lot of that was fluid. So far, so good though with swelling and blood pressure.

Luke has no real 'patterns' for me to do kick counts, though he moves around so much that I feel pretty confident about getting kicks when I need them. I have discovered, however, that one pattern he IS seeming to develop is at 3:30 IN THE MORNING! For the last week and a half or so, I've woken up to him moving around (he's much stronger!) and looked at the clock. The times are always like 3:33, 3:36, 3:34, 3:39....it's funny how right in that 3:20-3:40 range he always seems to kick because that's JUST LIKE ME--I get into these patterns where I'll wake up in the middle of the night for a few days or so in a row and each time is within a minute of the night's before time. My mom told me that I did the same thing when she was pregnant with me. I'd wake her up PROMPTLY at 5:30 am and she'd have to eat oatmeal and a fried egg to keep me happy. Seems like my apple has not fallen far from the tree. Although, at least I was kinder to my mom with 5:30 and not 3:30!!!

I don't mind one bit though. (Even last night, which had 2:26, 3:39, 4:24 and 5:37 wake-up calls!)

Here are some of the latest pictures. There is one that John and I were looking at and compared to Matthew and we said that if you didn't KNOW better, it could very easily be one of those comparisons where those 3D places use the 3D ultrasound and then compare to the baby after birth to show just how how closely the 3D ultrasound matches what the baby actually looks like when born. Crazy.

Beautiful. Both of them. Just beautiful.

This is the U/S of Luke followed by a sweet picture of Matthew...same chin and mouth and even little noses...eyes/shape is a bit different, but we see so much similarity. Luke's a lucky boy...his brother was beautiful.

Love that little profile!!!

I see so much of my mom and her side of the family here and still so much of John too. Very weird. Of course, everyone always thought John was my mom's son and *I* was the daughter-in-law!

Here's what's going on with Lukey Luke this week...

Week Twenty Seven: Eyes can open
You are 27 weeks pregnant. (fetal age 25 weeks) The fetus weighs almost 2 pounds now and is about 14.5 inches long. Baby now weighs about 875 grams and is 36.5 cm in length. The head is over 2.5 inches (7cm) in diameter. Your baby's hearing continues to develop. The eyes can blink, open and close. Welcome to the third trimester. Congratulations! You have made it 2/3 of the way through. It may be hard to believe, but your baby now appears much like he or she will look like at birth. Baby now has eyebrows and eyelashes and hair is growing everyday. The muscle tone is improving and his or her body is getting plumper. Your little one's brain continues its rapid growth. Don't forget to share music, conversation, and even books with your baby. Baby may start to recognize your voice as well as your partner, so be sure to say lots of nice things. The retina at the back of your baby's eyes is beginning to develop. Those beautiful baby eyes can open now, and the baby will notice and may turn his or her head if you shine a flashlight against your belly. At 27 weeks, your baby's length will have tripled or quadrupled from the 14 week mark. If your baby is born this week, the chances of survival is now at least 80 percent. However, serious complications are still possible.
<<< Week 26 | Month 6 | Month 7 | Week 28 >>>

Only 13 Weeks Left...Really?

Someone's FB (okay, not just any someone... the amazing, wonderful and fabulous gal that makes my hair anywhere near presentable) status today reminded me that there are 12 weeks left until Christmas.

Holy Cow.

As we hit 25 weeks yesterday, we have 13 weeks left until Luke is scheduled to make his arrival.

Again, I say, Holy Cow.

Believe it or not, I have already been working on getting Christmas shopping done...not quite as much on the getting-things-done-before-Luke-comes front. Working on that. Guess I better try and work a little harder.

We saw Dr. Sweeney yesterday and Luke was doing just fabulously. He weighed in at about 1 lb., 10 oz., which put him in the 51st%tile. Dead average. He was in the 52nd%tile two weeks ago, so that seems to be the continuing trend. Near this point with Matthew, we'd dropped to about the 38th%ile (for weight---certainly not for length!) and it kept getting progressively lower in percentile drop from that point on. I remember crying to Dr. Sweeney about IUGR when Matthew was in the 10th%tile (and that scored me weekly ultrasounds just to make me feel better---which is just proof that their office has been wonderful since Matthew died, but Dr. Sweeney was really wonderful throughout Matthew's pregnancy just because he's that kind of doctor).

Anyway.

Luke's doing great. He has HUGE feet, like his brother (and it's been everything I can do not to pick up cute shoes because those are some of the things I didn't really have too many of for Matthew and would LOVE to pick up for Luke, but not until I know what kind of snowshoes that kid's gonna need!) and I love, love, love pictures of those sweet feet. As per his usual, he kept his hands up by his head for most of the picture ops, but we were able to see him do some very sweet things...he yawned SEVERAL times, had the hiccups, was practicing breathing (hooray!) and we got really deep into analyzing his heart (looks GREAT!) and brain. It was a very thorough and long ultrasound and I loved it.

He has hair!!! I don't know that Matthew had hair (that we could see) this early, so maybe that's indicative of another baby boy with a head of hair at birth! John double-checked to make sure he was still a boy (which I found hilarious because we see the proof every time...this time she made sure we got another picture for John's peace of mind!) and all in all, Luke is, "Very happy and extremely healthy!"

Just what we like to hear.

I've not gained anything--in fact for a few days, was a few pounds lighter. The scale said 110.4 last night, that's what I'll go with. I pretty much weigh at the same time in the morning and the same time at night for my book, but really just use the weights at the doctor every two weeks for 'official' purposes. Ha ha. I *have* gained in the waist, though--37 inches. He's DEFINITELY filling out more and is no longer transverse but head down. Of course, he is a little frog, hopping all over the place, so we saw him bouncing all around on my bladder and cervix yesterday like it was a trampoline! Speaking of cervix, they were all pretty impressed with my 4.7 cervical length. Like Dr. Shonekan has always said...Fort Knox.

Last night after my photography class, I had some really, really, REALLY sore/painful cramping that I guess is more round ligament pain. It was better this morning, but then I got all energetic and did probably way more than I should have and could barely walk by this afternoon. Coupled with my hip pain, actually, and I really couldn't...so I spent a few hours in bed. It's a bit better now, but it's still really painful when walking (or ANY pressure on my stomach, really) so if it's like this tomorrow morning, I'm calling the doctor and see what they say. I'd hate to have to drive back to Annapolis tomorrow after just being there yesterday, so I may think about going to my wonderful L& D here if things don't get better but don't get too much worse. Too much worse, and I'll go to Annapolis just in case.

Luke seems to be just fine, though---moving all around, kick counts done in about 2 minutes and heartbeat good and strong. Just really, really painful and leaves me not able to do much walking. So, we'll see.

Anyway, here we are at 25 weeks:

Another rainy day...feeling like fall!

Sweet little profile!

Love, Love, LOVE my boys' feet!

There's some hair....don't ask how anyone is supposed to know that...

Pursing those little lips together after a yawn!

Here's what's going on with Luke:

Week Twenty Five: Exploration continues

You are 25 weeks pregnant. (fetal age 23 weeks) The unborn child is 34 cm in length and weighs almost 690 grams. Baby is around 13.5 inches in length and weighs 1 and half pounds. Bones are becoming solid, hands are now fully developed. The brain is growing rapidly, the brain cells are starting to mature. The sexual organs are fully developed. Baby is now pretty well built portion wise even though it still has little body fat and its skin is thin. The structures of the spine begin to form -- All 33 rings, 150 joints and 1000 ligaments. The tiny brain is growing rapidly, and the baby is starting to fill the space in your uterus. The uterus is now about the size of a soccer ball and mom looks pregnant. Your baby's hands are now fully developed, although some of the nerve connections to the hands have a long way to go. Dexterity is improving. Your baby can make a fist and clasp objects placed in palm. Exploring the structures inside your uterus may have become baby's prime entertainment. Fascinated by the amount of tactile stimulation a fetus gives itself; it touches a hand to the face, one hand to the other hand, clasps its feet, touches its foot to its leg, its hand to its umbilical cord. Twins will explore each other and begin their bonding. Blood vessels of the lungs develop. Your baby's nostrils begin to open. The nerves around the mouth and lip area are showing more sensitivity now. Their swallowing reflexes are developing. Baby can hear sounds outside the womb and the brain cells are starting to mature also. Already it can learn and remember and can recognise its mother and fathers voice. The inner ear bones have hardened so hearing is more acute. Baby may hear your partner's voice more easily than yours, as baby is sensitive to a deeper pitch. Babies born at 25 weeks of pregnancy have about a 50% chance of survival.

Smiling At Sixteen Weeks!

Today we are 16 weeks and saw our favorite guy, Dr. Sweeney. (He's even John's favorite guy, so it's ok to call him that!)

Luke is definitely a Luke! He was not cooperating at first with the showing of the parts, and in fairness to him, his mommy does have a nasty habit of airing all his goods when he shows them, so hear! hear! for his modesty! Dr. Sweeney got him to show his stuff, though, and said, "I think we're settled. It's a boy!"

To which I promptly replied, "I accept!"

He has really grown in the last two weeks! The pictures we got today were just amazing...rather, the pictures I got. John had to go back out to the boat this week, so I videotaped, but have no idea how to do much with those Flip videos yet (the software is driving me nuts when I try to trim a video so I can just have a little part to show) and he'll have to view when he gets home. That's ok, he likes to view them on his giganta-screen in the basement, so we'll save them for that. The 3-D pictures were precious! We got a couple of profile pictures, in which I was able to very clearly see his daddy...just what daddy looks like when he's sleeping! In my favorite, we got his face full-on and he was SMILING!

I've never seen one of my babies smile...and this picture was such a treat! More, he definitely has his mommy's (and grandma's and great-grandma's and big brother's) chin and I love it!

He's measuring 16w3d, so give or take a few for the fact that it's ultrasound, and he's right on target. He weighs 5 oz., which is a whole ounce and a half better than average! Woohoo! His heartbeat was 151 and he's just precious. I said he was so sweet-looking and Dr. Sweeney said, "He's beautiful, just like his brother." Yep, that's why we love Dr. Sweeney. I feel sort of bad leaving them with the goodies I did today. I tried a new recipe--cookies and cream brownies, and frankly, I wouldn't have touched the edges of those brownies with a 10-foot pole. They were HARD. Like rock-hard. I don't know if it is because of the oreos baked in or what, but ick. I told them to eat up to the edges but not bite into them because I couldn't afford a round of crowns for the staff. He gallantly (and before he actually tried them!) said they'd devour them like always. Hmph. I would not.

Anyway...

My placenta is still covering my cervix. I asked Dr. Sweeney if he'd still call me 'low-lying' or actually previa. As I (in my head these last several weeks) thought might happen, it's previa...my placenta is completely covering my cervix. I figured it was bound to happen. This was an IVF pregnancy and it's my second baby and implantation occurred about 4 months after a fairly rough emergency c-section--all risk factors for the previas and accreta. Super. Not surprising, though.

I'm not worried. I broke down on my Google ban and looked it up a bit more, and that sort of started to scare me a bit, so I stopped. Dr. Sweeney is not worried. He says it's early, there's time for it to move, and I'm heavily monitored, so unless I start bleeding (which I haven't and would IMMEDIATELY jump to the doctor's ASAP if I did), there's no concern right now.

I believe him. Dr. Sweeney loves us and loves this baby and if he's not worried, I'm not.

Seriously, I'm not. I'm very surprised by the peace I have right now.

Still no weight gain, and I actually lost a pound (back to about 97-98) but this week I've been sick still, so...didn't ever take the antibiotic because the cold took John by storm for about 2 weeks and he has the immune system of Superman. So, me and my compromised, pregnant immune system will take a bit longer. I'm feeling a bit better every day and am very glad I didn't needlessly take the antibiotic. So, again, take THAT, Madame PA.

Finding his heartbeat more and more easily on the doppler, which makes me feel much better. Honestly, I am emotionally feeling good, all things considered, including the use of that word in light of the situation. I'm looking at nursery themes, and feeling like it will be a tropical fish/aquarium theme. I want something bright and colorful and John and I looked at those themes for Matthew but the Ahoy Mate just perfectly fell into our laps.

I love this baby. I love him more and more each day. I remember telling God, "Good luck restoring my joy."

I'm not sure, but He probably laughed at me and said, "Oh yeah, watch this." Actually, I doubt He laughed...He knew my hurt. Knowing that hurt, though, He knew He'd have to do something amazing and miraculous. And along came our Luke.

Which is not to say that I feel like my heart will ever be complete again, not while a piece of it is in Heaven...but I can say that Luke brings so, so much joy into my life and my heart and I am so grateful for every second of every day. My cup runneth over.

Here are a few pictures:

Mommy and Dixie at 15w6d

Luke's profile and little hand

This picture just SCREAMS Daddy to me!

So much like Daddy!

Sweet boy smiling!! "Hotel Mommy" still has it!

Here's what's going on with the Lukester this week:

Week Sixteen: Facial expressions are possible (Not just possible, but definite! That boy is SMILING!)

You are 16 weeks pregnant. (fetal age 14 weeks) The fetus measures nearly 5 inches (12cm) from head to buttocks. The fetus weighs about 3.5 ounces (100 grams). The fetus is covered with a protective soft down to regulate its temperature. Fat begins to form underneath skin. Baby hears external voices, sleeps and dreams. Your baby has learned to breathe. This is apparent from the regular movements of his chest, inhaling and exhaling small amounts of amniotic fluid. These actions help the lungs to develop and grow. More developed facial muscles may lead to various expressions, such as squinting and frowning. Your baby now weighs more than their afterbirth. The baby can grasp with his hands, kick, or even somersault. You are showing more now and have an obvious swelling in your lower abdomen. The rest of your body is still changing. A total of 5 to 10 pound (2.25 to 4.5 kg) weight gain by this point in your pregnancy is normal. The crown to rump length of your baby is 4.4 to 4.8 inches (11 to 12 cm). Fetal weight has doubled in 2 weeks and is about 3.5 ounces (100g).

Offers, offers and more wonderful offers!!!!

So, I never win ANYTHING (save I won the sweetest Vera Bradley bag from Lianna at Be Thou a Knight and was SO excited!!!!) but am always jealous of those luckies who do!! Several awesome, generous and kind offers/giveaways have popped up in the last few days and I'm hoping to share in case someone who reads this may benefit!!!

Stephanie at Carried Through Grief is offering a really great thing. She does beautiful work and is currently pregnant again after the loss of her sweet Amelia earlier this year in March. She, like me, is feeling the conflict of looking forward while remembering what's behind and agreed that these precious new little lives coming into the world ought to be able to have something special for them. What I love is that she's not just included women who are pregnant after loss, but women who have had failed/stalled adoption situations but been able to still bring another precious child into their home. Adoption loss carries its own sense of mourning and grief, trust me.

From Stephanie:

"I am offering 50% off my Fanciful Collection at Beyond Words Designs to all Rainbow parents who wishes to participate. * A rainbow parent is someone who has experienced the death of a baby/child/or failed adoption and is currently expecting or adopting after the loss."

I can't wait until we decide what Luke's nursery theme will be because I fully intend to take Stephanie up on this sweet offer!!

Next is from Franchesca...who is also CRAZY talented and does so many kind and generous things in memory of her sweet Jenna Belle. At Small Bird Studio, she does wonderful things and is offering a giveaway art piece in her sweet Jenna's alphabet. Beautiful stuff, so visit her there and on Facebook!

Last is from sweet, sweet Kelli at Rie's Dialogues...I just heart her! She's launched a new blog and I just love her strength and perseverance! What I love more is that she honors and embraces those very same things in others!! Her giveaway is for a gift certificate from The Vintage Pearl and the jewelry is just lovely! She has all the details there on her blog.


Whew! Lots of links, huh? Amazing women, though, and I'm honored to share some of their goings on.

Went to the doctor today--first to see Dr. Shonekan...just love her. Still sick, so all the office got was the Pillsbury pull-out-of-the-package white chocolate macadamia cookies so I didn't get anyone else sick either. God love her for putting up with me.

Luke's little heart was chugging right along. Easy to find. Of course it was. We think his pattern is sleep during the day and party at night. Although, he is usually pretty wiggly for our ultrasounds with Dr. Sweeney, so maybe he was just taking a moment. All I know is that when we are trying to find his heartbeat at night before bed, he's an acrobatic phenom! When we try to take it mid-morning, it's always very, very easy to get because he's still!

My blood pressure was a bit high, but that's not necessarily uncommon when sick, so not too worried. We'll watch it as I (theoretically) get better over these next few days.

I went to a primary care doctor for this sinus infection. She's a former high risk OB PA and she was sort of not happy with me. She was obviously very curious about my OB history (so much fun to walk down memory lane) and was very put out with me for not taking my allergy and asthma medicines while I've been pregnant. I got the old, "If you aren't getting enough oxygen, neither is the baby," speech, which I had already heard earlier from Dr. Shonekan, only not as good-naturedly delivered. She asked why I wasn't taking them and I told her I didn't need them. (I don't.) She asked who told me I didn't need them and I told her that I didn't need anyone to tell me what my body knew. (She didn't like that.) She said I was stubborn. (She wasn't really mean about it, and in her defense, she's right.) She said I needed to take those medicines because they were class B and should be just fine to take. I found it funny that someone who'd worked with high risk OB patients for so long couldn't understand that "should be just fine" is not something I'm willing to talk about.

Matthew "should" have been just fine too. There are no shoulds. (Written in honor of Dr. Guyer.)

So, after hemming and hawing about how I knew my body, how pregnancy has been WONDERFUL for my allergies and asthma (this spring when everyone was complaining about pollen, I was gardening and singing like I was Snow White!), and in NO WAY, SHAPE or FORM would I do anything to harm poor Luke, she mentioned how I was a doctor's nightmare because how was I to know if I was harming poor Luke?

It was at that point I wanted to tell her, "Good thing you're not a doctor, then, huh, because you'd be aggravated with me, wouldn't you?" but in Christian love, I refrained.

I know what she meant. She was just worried about me making sure I took medicines to keep me from crisis situation. I get that.

But after listening to me for cry and share the last 11 years of my life with her for several minutes, she should have gleaned that I am a fabulous advocate for my health care needs (and have even been called a hypochondriac once or twice!) and would do anything necessary (including medicine up the wazoo) to protect Luke.

If it's just a matter of making me a bit more comfortable, though...I'll pass. Why subject him to it? I do not work, I do not have any major responsibilities around my house, I do not have anything to do but lay around if I want to. I can suck it up a bit and not take medicine if it means that Luke doesn't have to have it either.

That said, I DO believe this is probably a sinus infection. So, if it's not better tomorrow (I'm a bit better today than I was yesterday), then first thing in the morning, I'll hit the Z-pac. Dr. Shonekan told me to quit being stubborn and take a puff of my inhaler, so *maybe* I'll do that before bed to try to get some sleep. (She tells me I'm stubborn but she tells me she loves me anyway!!)

I know that woman was just doing her job, but really...I'm not some 18 year-old girl (don't I know THAT!) who just 'fell' into pregnancy, for Pete's sake. And I've lived with my body for 37 years. I'm pretty familiar with its ins and outs. I have not needed any medicine and Luke has been fine.

For the record, my pulse ox or whatever the thing that measures your oxygen is ROCKED. 100% airflow. Luke and I are doing just fine, madame PA.

Twelve Weeks and Thumb Sucking....

So...even though baby turned 12 weeks on Monday, I waited until today to do the weekly update since today was her/his visit with her/his favorite perinatologist. We made Red Velvet Cupcakes (I WISH I could remember who suggested that!!!) and they were a big hit--not real cream cheese frosting because baby and I don't necessarily love the smell of that, but they were a hit nonetheless. I'm making fudge (another recipe sent to me and I can't remember from whom) for Dr. Shonekan next week and then the following week, Dr. Sweeney's office will get Oreo Truffles (I got two recipes for those from Tessa and Jennifer and I may have to make double batches because those sound delicious to ME!) I love the recipes! I told Dr. Sweeney there's a que of recipes waiting to be made for all the appointments and I really love it!

Anyway...in addition to the cupcakes, the appointment went fabulously! Today was the neuchal translucency/1st trimester screening and all looked good. The neuchal fold measured lovely and there were no soft markers seen for anything chromosomal so far. It was very hard to get a look at the nasal bone because baby is a THUMB SUCKER!!!! Big time. Like, kept her/his thumb in mouth for a good long while and made it hard to see the bones in the nose because her/his hand was blocking! I had a dream last night that Dr. Sweeney told me my cervix was shortening and when I told him that, he laughed and told me everything looked great and I didn't have to worry about that.

Baby was even measuring 2 days ahead! We laughed at that, since Matthew was always such a little (but LONG!) peanut! Heartbeat was good and strong (when baby was still enough to catch it) a nice 162! Two kidneys, in the right places, as well as stomach and bladder in appropriate placement as well. All in all...great check-up.

He also took an educated guess on gender and guessed GIRL. I've been feeling girl, but haven't been sure...the sono tech also said she thought it was a girl too but was waiting to see what Dr. Sweeney said. In honesty, to me, it looked like a little pee-pee but he said that even though at this stage there are a lot of similarities, there are also some anatomical differences and he thought he was seeing them. Baby was in a great position for checking, so that was helpful!

So....our trip-to-Annapolis baby items were two little girl outfits. We'll keep the receipt until our next appointment (July 19) when he's pretty sure we'll know for sure.

Baby was jumping all over the place!!! I loved that Matthew was such a mover and a shaker and I pray every day this little one is too. So far, she/he is! It could have been the chocolate shake I had before, but...I think it's a wiggler too. She/he gets it honest....

I haven't gained any more weight, and waver between losing another pound, but still not worried. I'm showing a good bit more and baby is doing super, so I'm sure the weight will be coming soon.

Still a lot of trepidation about whether or not we'll be bringing this little one home, but I really feel more and more that all will be well. Every day seems to bring me a little more confidence than the day before and I am really thankful for that. "This one she will keep" just resonates with me so strongly and reminds me that God does not lie.

Here are some shots from little one today. On some of the 3D ones, it looks like we are having a little elf...pointy ears and a pointy nose. In reality, it's just the ultrasound blur/imaging, but it sure is funny!

IT'S A GIRL?

ARROW POINTING TO GIRLY BITS

OUR LITTLE ELF....

(Rotated a bit) LESS ELFISH

Baby's little thumb going for mouth!

I love this profile shot because it reminds me SO much of my mom!!!! I wish there were more pictures of my mom's family when they were babies/children (they were dirt poor; there aren't many!) and I know it's hard for John to see it because he doesn't have that familiarity either, but Matthew was SUCH a little Gosnell (my mother's family) baby...same chin, sort of little pout--definitely so much like my mom and I often said it with the 3D pictures we'd get. Looking at his NILMDTS pictures, I am just always so amazed at how much I see my mom and her brothers in him. With this little one, I see it again...the chin and the little mouth. Can't wait until next time--maybe we'll get a little closer up in the face 3D and will be able to make even more out!!!

Here's what's going on in week 12:

Week Twelve: Fingernails and toenails appear

You are 12 weeks pregnant. (fetal age 10 weeks) The fetus is now about 2.5 inches (6cm) length and weighs about 0.7 ounce (20 g). The feet are almost half an inch (1cm) long. The fetus starts moving spontaneously. The face is beginning to look like a baby's face. The pancreas is functioning and producing insulin. Fingernails and toenails appear. The baby can suck his thumb, and get hiccups. From this week you may well be able to hear the baby's heart beat through a doppler monitor on your tummy. You will notice that the rate is up to 160 a minute, double that of a normal adult. Your baby now has a chin and a nose and a facial profile. Vocal chords are complete, and the baby can and does sometimes cry silently. The brain is fully formed, and the baby can also feel pain. The fetus may even suck his thumb. The eyelids now cover the eyes, and will remain shut until the seventh month to protect the delicate optical nerve fibers. The hair is on the head and the fingers and toes have developed soft nails. The kidneys are developed and begin to secrete urine. Your baby weighs between 0.5 and 0.7 ounce (14 to 20g), and crown-to-rump length is almost 2.5 inches (63mm). Your baby's size has almost doubled in the past 3 weeks.

Ten Weeks and A Million Bucks....

I'm sure I've written it before, but it bears repeating again. We love pretty much anything that Dr. Sweeney tells us but one of my favorite Dr. Sweeney-isms was to hear that Matthew looked like a million bucks.

So, though Little Bit is still just a Little Bit, I was hoping we'd hear that (s)he looked like at least $250K!

I was not disappointed! The heartbeat was 167 (Matthew's heartbeat was always in that range too--think my children just flutter quickly!) and flickered beautifully. We measured right on track for 10w0d, which is exactly what we are today and Dr. Sweeney said that the baby looked like a million dollars--and just like me!

I told him that I keep telling John that the baby looks like me, but I was glad to have it medically confirmed.

Baby was wiggling this morning too, and I am glad to know that already (s)he is a wiggler. Matthew was SUCH a wiggler and I found that so reassuring. I hope this sister or brother will be too and I hope that the last two ultrasounds are indicative of a wiggler. A really active wiggler.

Y'all are going to have to send me recipes for goodies to take to my doctors because even though I think everyone loves brownies, they can get boring. I shook it up a little today with black forest cherry brownies, and I think I'm going to make some fudge for my appointment with Dr. Shonekan on the 29th. I think one of the things I can do to keep busy in between appointments is try to come up with new goodies to take.

Here are the stats for 10 weeks. Still pictures and video follow:

	Week Ten: Embryo is now waving!
	You are 10 weeks pregnant. (eight weeks after conception) From this week until birth, the developing organism is called a fetus. The fetus is now the size of a small strawberry. The feet are 2mm long (one tenth of an inch). The neck is beginning to take shape. The body muscles are almost developed. Baby has begun movement. While still too small for you to feel, your little one is wriggling and shifting. The jaws are in place. The mouth cavity and the nose are joined. The ears and nose can now be seen clearly. Fingerprints are already evident in the skin. Nipples and hair follicles begin to form. The unborn baby is now called a fetus. Though the fetus is constantly moving, you will not be able to actually feel fetal movement for several more weeks. All of the organs, muscles, and nerves are in place and beginning to function. As the hands and feet develop fingers and toes, they have lost their paddle like look. The touch pads on the fingers form and already have fingerprints. During this week of pregnancy the crown to rump length of the fetus is 0.9 inch to 1.2 inches (22 to 30mm), weight 0.07 ounce (2gm). They are now on the way to forming their testicles or ovaries, getting ready for the next generation. Until the ninth week of fetus development, the fetal reproductive apparatus is the same one for the both sexes. The head is still large and curves into chest. Each week your uterus grows larger with the baby growing inside it. You may begin to see your waistline growing thicker by this time. A pelvic exam will detect that your uterus has grown from it's normal, size of your fist, to a little bigger than a grapefruit.

Of course, my uterus was not really cooperating so much so Katy had to really push down to get the baby to show him or herself. I hope this doesn't meant that I'll have to wait even longer to feel movement.

Here are a couple of still shots--getting bigger and soon we'll really be able to make body parts out!

Zoomed In profiles....

Profiles right after waves!

I got a really, really great deal on a Flip UltraHD to take with me when John can't be there (like today) and tried it out today. Not too bad, especially considering the deal I got. Gotta Love Amazon and Swagbucks!!

And yes...I know I ended it with, "So, she's ok?"

My apologies in advance, little one, if you are are another sweet baby boy. My guess is that since I'm feeling you're a girl, I'm probably WAY wrong and will have to keep making those apologies once you're born and can read!!

Hey there, 7-pounder!

We had what I *hope* will be our last appointment with Dr. Sweeney just a while ago. He shook our hands and told us he enjoyed taking care of us these last months (baked goods for doctors go a long way, trust me!) as if he wouldn't be seeing us at our next scheduled appointment--next Monday, the 30th, and the day we go to the hospital to be induced if Matthew hasn't come. I hope he's right.

The sono tech was really having a great time with us and Matthew was very entertaining. He kept moving, was breathing up a storm and kicking my organs (my poor gall bladder is just being used for his own personal kicking bag) like crazy...and she felt really sorry for me! She's the one who likes to do the growth assessment as well, so we learned that Matthew was 7 lbs., 3 oz! This is a TREMENDOUS gain from last week, over a pound! Which leads me to believe (and hope, a little) that there is a little bit more of a discrepancy in measurements because of two different techs taking them. In any event, I'm pretty confident he's at least 6 pounds FOR SURE and probably a bit more based on how much more powerful the kicks and movements have been in the last week.

Tomorrow we'll get a Bishop Score from Dr. Shonekan and we'll see how close he is to coming on his own or how successful the induction may be. John thinks, "That little turkey will come on Thanksgiving Day," and that would be fine with me because then he would at least get to wear his First Thanksgiving outfit.

I'm not placing any bets on it though....he looked like he was having an AWFULLY good time in there!!

Oh, and Dr. Sweeney said he *is* betting...betting that he's found the second kidney. I bet he's right...it even looked just like a little kidney bean!! So, Uni-kidney may just turn into Pelvi-kidney!

Don't rule out December...again.

Well, we saw Dr. Polko today and she also basically said, "Don't rule out December." I may have mentioned that my OB's office is pretty laid back, as in they basically listen to the heartbeat, put a measuring tape on my stomach and say, "Yep, you're good," each exam. I've been chalking that mostly up to the fact that I see Dr. Sweeney so regularly and as Dr. Davis said two weeks ago, what he does is quite a bit more advanced so what they do at my regular OB appointment is sort of redundant at best.

Well, Dr. Sweeney is all about Matthew, so today I had Dr. Polko do the internal exam so we could see if he was even thinking about making his appearances...and found out why they are so 'laid back,' about exams and stuff--they H * U * R * T!!!!!!!!!! A lot. I did not think it was possible for her arm to be any further...well, anyway, it HURT. She then told me that's why she usually doesn't do those exams until 40 weeks--she KNOWS they hurt and she doesn't really see any point to doing them until 40 weeks or more anyway. I am in total agreement with her at this point, and can say I will *NOT* be voluntarily requesting to be checked.

As for the results of the check....nada. In fact, it's never a good sign when your OB says, "D*mn, woman, you're tight." She then told me I was dilated a centimeter, maybe...and maybe 30% effaced. We then discussed making plans and she essentially told me that I needed to try and sucker the other two doctors because she's seen too many bad situations come when we tried to bring babies out before they were ready. As for Dr. Sweeney's recommendation of making a plan for 39 weeks? "Yeah, well, he gets to look at them in there. (pointing to belly) *I'm* the one that delivers them and I know what I've seen." And again, she has a point. She said she figured that Dr. Shonekan would be ok with scheduling an induction on the 23rd, but that still wasn't the best case scenario because I could be stuck in labor for 3 days and then have to do a C-section anyway. NO WAY! I'd rather just schedule a C-section. To which she said, "Eh...you don't really want to do that--at least not at week 40. Maybe 41."

She was not plussed by the fact that I am swollen up like Jimmy Dean sausage links, nor that I am not sleeping at all, nor that I am not able to breathe. "You're breathing. You'd be dead if you weren't." You'd think that I'd be aggravated by her attitude about it all, but I'm not. Because all that aside, as I was sitting there crying, she got up and hugged me and said, "I know. It hurts. It'll be ok." So, while I am miserable, it won't be that much longer and I can make it.

She's right. I can. So Matthew, come whenever you want. I'm not making any plans for you coming. I know they'll want probably want to induce at 41 weeks, and at that point, I may make a decision about inducing or scheduling a c-section, but other than that...if you want to be born in December, fine, be born in December.

Just remember that the closer your birthday is to Christmas, the more bleak your present situation looks. I know lots of people who HATED having their birthdays so close to Christmas because they felt shorted on the presents. I'm just saying....

38 is here!

Week 38-- 14 days and counting! Trust me, SOOOO counting!

Our appointment yesterday went wonderfully. Again he scored an 8/8 on the biophysical profile--there was no point in the Non-stress test because we scored so well on the breathing, muscle tone, and ESPECIALLY movement!!! I've been saying it all along...that boy is a mover! He was not being very cooperative about showing much or staying still for the sono-tech but she was able to show me a little more the hair (I *sorta* saw what she was talking about) and she gave me some insight into why right under my right rib cage and the right side of my back hurt so much--apparently Matthew is "wreaking havoc" (her words, not mine, but I'll agree!) on my gall bladder (which has been shoved up practically under my rib cage) and my right kidney (hence the horrible, never-goes-away pain on the right side of my back) and she could see it all. Not only are my organs just all jammed where ever they can find room but she kept pointing out how he was kicking, kicking and kicking them all!! It *does* hurt and has for awhile, but I have to admit, I find it really kind of funny. Obviously he has no clue of what he's doing, but he sure is going to town in doing it!

They were also very surprised that my OB isn't talking about a plan to induce and somewhat surprised that he hasn't popped out already because he's plum out of room. I know, I know...the body is amazing, can do amazing things, yada yada...I've heard it all, thanks. My body already has done AMAZING things and now is just not getting any bigger but Matthew is. I'm very glad for him getting bigger, but the lack of room for him can't be comfortable for him because it sure as heck isn't for me. Dr. Sweeney (GOD LOVE THAT MAN) said, "Well, your OB can't do anything before 39 weeks unless I find something wrong and that's just not the case, buuuuuttttt....you can certainly make a plan for week 39." I brought them turtle brownie torte and asked what I needed to bring next week for him to write "Get that baby out!" and he said it should be pretty obvious to the OB. Next Monday we'll do another growth assessment and I expect he'll be at least 6 lbs. and some change, and I'll be 39 weeks that Tuesday. Matthew's due date is one week from that, but in talking with John (and now having Dr. Sweeney's opinion weighing in) I'm going to look at trying to get something started on the 23rd ( the Monday before Thanksgiving and I'll be 39 weeks and 6 days) so that he can be here before Thanksgiving.

Frankly, I think a Thanksgiving baby would ROCK but I don't want to take any chances with staff being skeletal because of the holiday. The sono tech agreed. So, we'll see....

In any event, I will have an exam on Thursday to see how things are going down there and we may be able to tell some more from that about whether or not we even need to worry about any of this. In the meantime, Matthew is doing fabulously and seems to be very happy and content. That's worth my lack of sleep, inability to breathe and internal organs being used as kickbags.

Here's hoping it's not too much longer of that, though, and he gets to be happy and content on the outside!!!!

Full-Term! We made it!

Hooray!! It's November, Matthew's birthday month. Good thing he's a boy because his birthstone is Citrine, not a favorite of mine, and he won't be disappointed that he doesn't get pretty birthstone jewelry. I know, I know...the logic I come up with sometimes. In any event, as much as I like Opal, I'm SOO glad he made it to 37 weeks and is doing fine!

Our appointment yesterday was great. Of course I freaked a bit when we first went in because the sono tech was just going to check to see if he's breathing and moving, but not his growth. I was under the distinct impression we were there for the sole purpose of checking his weight and growth. Her concern was that the measurements aren't exact and that he could very easily have gone backward in growth just by standard measure of error and I'd be tormented. Yeah, she was probably right, but I still wanted his growth assessed. She then tried to tell me it was like brownies--if you keep checking every 5 minutes (or week), not much change is noticed. Give it 45 minutes (or a few weeks in between) and voila--awesome. I got that analogy, but still said, "Assess!" I'm glad I did...he was 4 lbs., 13 oz. last week and yesterday he was 5 lbs., 9 oz!!!! He was in the 21%tile for growth, and was measuring where a 34-35 gestational age baby would be, even though he's 37 weeks. That's ok, though, the measurements *aren't* exact and even if they were, that's not *too* far off the reservation. Next week, when we go back, they will just check to make sure he's breathing and moving and won't assess growth. I'll be ok with that. I guess.

When we got home, John pulled out his super-duper growth curve chart that includes something polynomial or something like that (that brain of his...I'm still always impressed by his amazing brain) and charted Matthew's weight and it was right where it should have been and maybe a bit above. Long story short, at this point, he is not IUGR, certainly won't be a very low birth weight baby and probably not even a low birth weight baby. He may be SGA, but that's not a big deal at all.

Matthew's line is the one that breaks off on the top. I tried for an hour to use Photoshop to put an arrow in and finally gave up because every time I put an arrow in, the whole picture would turn to a grey and white checked box and I just don't have the patience to figure that out. I know, I know...I have Photoshop for Dummies upstairs but frankly, I'm too aggravated. I don't understand most of this, but the part I like the best is that for him to not be Low Birth Weight, he'd have to be at that little blue triangle at 40 weeks. He's there now, at 37. I of course wouldn't question John's math, but the doctor's numbers yesterday said he was measuring about 35 weeks. SGA must be some specific differences.

He's breathing up a storm! I admit--for all the reading, reading, reading and more reading I've been doing for the last, oh 10+ years, when the tech said, "He sure is happy and moving around and doing a great job of breathing!" I thought, "Well, duh. Of course he's breathing. He'd be dead if he wasn't." Ummmm....no....he's just practicing. He's getting all his oxygen through me still and the cord was very blood enriched and nowhere near his neck. We were talking about him breathing in the car and John told me that his breathing was just practice and his oxygen came from me still. Again, that John...full of very useful info. I've been getting every week-to-week baby update known to man, and I guess I've glossed over the whole 'practice' breathing thing. His breathing is great, though, and his lungs are obviously doing a great job! He scored a 8/8 on the biophysical profile, so all was well there.

He also has HAIR! I have no idea how they can tell that stuff, but she was looking at his head and said, "Oh, he has some hair!" She showed us something on the screen and for the life of me, I couldn't see it, but then she said, "Oh...look...there's some fringe hair right at the bottom, right over his neck." So, Matthew may be born with a little old man-head, or a mullet. Grandma said that is definitely an Ennis hairstyle, and his daddy had that hair-do for a while too. I was born with a ton of hair, but then lost it rather quickly and didn't get any back for about 2 years. I can't wait to see it and even more, can't wait to see if it's curly!!!! However his hair is, it will be perfect, but I'd love some little curls!

As we walked out of the doctor's office, I felt bad that I had been a little frantic about him measuring small and the insistence that we check his growth. I told Dr. Sweeney I'd bring baked goods next week. Let me tell you, that Dr. Sweeney is great. He said, "Lori, let me tell you about a group of people I know pretty well. I like to call them 3rd Trimester, 1st-time moms whose babies have something a little less than perfect, like only one kidney. They're nervous and anxious and you are in good company. You're not bothering anyone!" Gotta love that man. John just laughed and laughed.

I still gave them the preference for chocolate chip or blueberry muffins...and may throw a little fudge in there for extra thanks.

After the appointment, we stopped at the mall to look for a camera bag and now that it's November (though I saw the first Christmas commercial on October 26), all the holiday stuff is out. We got the cutest little ornament and I can't wait to put it on the tree!

John woke up this morning and said, "Matthew, are you ready to come out now?"

I took the liberty of answering for him: "No, not today."

I don't feel so bad saying "I can't wait" though, because if he *is* born today, he'll be just fine!