PUPO

I love that term. LOVE it. Thank you, thank you, thank you wonderful friend for giving it to me. Thank you LORD for letting me wear it...even if (and I am not being pessimistic, I'm being realistic in understanding that I am too human to understand God's will sometimes, and that's the price I pay as a human...) it is just a short time I get to wear it, I love it and am so hopeful.

PUPO--Pregnant Unless Proven Otherwise. And, here to make their official debut...One Fish, Two Fish, here are Red Fish and Blue Fish:

These two are the cream of our crop...in truth, the one looks a little fragmented to me, and that's not necessarily the best, but all the research says that many a healthy and beautiful child has come from embryos far more fragmented...besides, bless their little hearts, they fit right in the scheme of my crazy life, right?

Dr. K called this morning before we headed out there and told me that where as the day before they were all only 2 celled, now we had 2 that were 8-celled (the ones above, though finding 8 cells is hard) 1 that was 6-celled, 1 that was 5-celled and two that were 4-celled. The remaining that were not transferred will continue to be nurtured and babied to see how much they can grow and if they can make it to 10 cells, they'll freeze them for later use. Sadly, I don't think the poor little 4-celled ones are going to make it.

I realize that the subject of In Vitro is very ethically divisive and full of opinion. So, before anybody decides they need to comment or email me about the pitfalls of all this, again I say, DON'T BOTHER.

I have never been more amazed in my life than this morning watching the doctor insert in me two living and GROWING parts of me and John...and whether they implant or not, don't think for a second that I am not grateful for the LIVES I think them to be. I've had everything from "Well, maybe you were just meant to be a real mom" (like an adoptive mom is NOT a real mom? Bite me.) to "Even if it doesn't work, you can technically say you've been pregnant and that's a lot more than a lot of people get" (Seriously, I am WAY aware of how blessed we are to be able to participate in this program and that others who 'deserve' to be moms don't get this chance...trust me, I KNOW!)

I have prayed over every decision involved in this process, and talked with several dear friends I know would give me honest, Christian opinions. We prayerfully decided what would be done with any that we didn't transfer, and feel that we are making decisions as God would have us make. No, the Bible doesn't really dictate much with regard to protocol for IVF, but it does dictate protocol for life, and it is to be valued. Which is what we have every intention of doing.

And, if RFBF (Redfish, Bluefish) implant, what joy! If they don't, we'll continue to pray for the peace of knowing that God is in control of our lives...whether we get what we want or not.