Let me tell you what I think about that....

So, without giving credit for how this was brought to my attention, lest anyone feel like a big-shot for being noticed, I was directed to this, from some post on some fertility blog years ago...

"Some Christians have other ideas about Christianity and IVFA Possibility of Idolatry And for the Christian there is an even deeper challenge to face. If your desire for a child is so great that nothing is allowed to stand in the way of it, then you have exalted that desire above God."Give me a child or I die" is a fundamentally godless attitude. It is the same as to say, "My whole good is wrapped up in my having a child. My life has no meaning, and there can be for me no happiness without one." But when we say that, we have exalted the wanted child to the place in our affections only God may rightly enjoy. Our whole good is wrapped up in God and His will for us, not in our own notions of what is good for us. "You shall love the Lord your God, and Him only shall you serve." But when we will do anything to have a child, that is not what we are doing; we are loving the wanted child above all things else, and serving only our need of him (or her).I do not say this unfeelingly. I could weep for some whom I know even while I say it. But being a real Christian ... taking God and faith in Him seriously ... being radically obedient from the heart, means coming to terms with truth at levels as deep as this. At these levels too, the only way to give God a right obedience may be to accept suffering and loss of the most extreme kind. The story of Abraham having to offer up his only son Isaac is there in the Bible to teach us exactly that, at even the most heart-wrenching, grievous level.I say again, when we take a deliberate hand in the process we bring in a whole new dimension of responsibility. Our choices must be faith-choices, and we must accept responsibility for them, as well as for all that follows from them.Couldn't you just pray for a baby? The Bible way to resolve the problem of infertility was to pray, as Hannah the mother of Samuel did, as Elizabeth the mother of John the Baptist did, and many others. And we must understand why. It is not because prayer is to be preferred to medicine. The reason Bible people prayed about their infertility is because in doing so they acknowledged God in the matter, accepting that the satisfaction of their desire for a child lay at His disposal, not their own. They believed very simply that the power to open or close the womb was God's. So may we.and anyway I thought every sperm was sacred........"

Ummmmm, sooo....here's what I have to say:

• I know, without a doubt, that if I never had a child, my life would go on and God would still continue to bless me. I have OFTEN said in this blog that it is ME...I am the one being selfish wanting a child, and I am fully aware of it. NOT above God...or a relationship with God...just desperately wanting the mother/child relationship. BUT...if it doesn't EVER happen....I WILL LIVE. I've never said I wouldn't.
• I HAVE PRAYED. AND PRAYED. AND PRAYED SOME MORE. So have hundreds, maybe thousands more through the last 10 years. I've even said that I'm big enough to accept that it may just not be in God's plan for me to have a child and people give me the old, "You were born to be a mom...I can't believe that would be God's plan." Well, I can believe it...and if that's the plan, then that's the plan. LORD knows (literally) that I have prayed.
• I have acknowledged GOD in all of this...and if we get pregnant from the procedure, it is because of HIM. I AM a "Real Christian" and am FULLY responsible for the choice I made to go through all this. Basically, the doctors did what often happens naturally in a woman's body, only on a lesser extreme. OFTEN eggs are fertilized, but not sustained and a woman doesn't even know it when her period comes. Same thing happened outside my body...and though it wasn't the optimal or "natural" progression of things, the conception of those embryos and their growth (or lack of) was pretty much exactly what happens IN my (and most women's) body and they may not even know it.
• Every sperm is sacred? So, am I to have a funeral each month when I have my period because that egg didn't get fertilized and make it to a pregnancy? Please.
• I choose to accept suffering and pain because I am obedient to God. And I understand that we live in a fallen world where that happens. Doesn't mean that I have to CONSISTENTLY suffer and face pain when there are opportunities to do otherwise. I rejoice in God and all He offers.

Friends....seriously....I've said it before...if you don't like what I say or what I am doing, you really, truly do NOT need to read. If you have conflicts with what I say or do, fine...feel free to disagree. It's a free country. Just know that since I am NOT paying you to either READ or give your opinion, I don't really give a flying fig about you reading or giving your crappy opinion if your goal is to just tell me how I am wrong.

Maybe I am. Good thing we wait until JUDGEMENT DAY for the ONE who knows to let me know about it. GOD knows my heart, and that's about all I care about.