Friday, May 15, 2009


You know, I just have to say that I get so fed up with indifference these days. (ALERT--THIS MAY BE THE HORMONES TALKING, SO DON'T TAKE PERSONALLY)

John had his colonoscopy today. Keep in mind that his dad DIED from colon cancer at a very young age after a very valiant fight against it. So, when I get called in to get the results as he's finishing getting dressed, the nurse says, "It went perfect. (Should have said perfectLY but I'm getting better at correcting others' grammar in my head only.)" Anyway, she then, after telling me it was perfect, says, "We found two polyps, but they're small so no big deal." Yes, it is a big deal. He's 36 and that's not all that common and even more concerning considering his family history. So, I mention this to her and she tells me, "Oh, we even see polyps in 20 year olds these days."

"Yeah, is *that* normal either?"

"Uh, well..." Um-hmm. Didn't think so. Then I asked if they were removed for biopsy. She then tells me, "Oh, yes," like she was glad I asked because she'd forgotten to tell me that part.

Okay, so then I start reading the instructions while she goes and gets John and I see that he has to limit travel. He's a pilot, and travels often. I asked her how specific this limited travel needed to be and she says, "Do you just want to talk to the doctor? You seem to have a lot of questions." Now, don't get me wrong, she didn't say this in a mean or sarcastic way, but almost surprised, as if I the concept of a person having questions was foreign.

While we waited for the doctor, we also saw on the paper he had diverticulosis. Were they going to tell us about that? What that was? What to do (if anything)? Finally, in walks the doctor. This is the same doctor who told John (after it was already approved, by the way) that insurance probably wouldn't pay for his colonoscopy because he was only 36 and they don't usually do them until after 40. Well, that's not what the American Cancer Society suggests, and obviously TriCare (the infamous military health care system) is down with the protocol because they approved it. This doctor walks in, introduces himself very quickly, then says, "Two polyps. Small. No big deal."
I asked him about whether it was common for someone as young as John to have polyps and he said they'd taken them out and were going to biopsy them to see whether "this was a waste of time" or "we needed to worry." What doctor do you know will tell you a possibly life-saving screening may have been a waste of time? Whether these polyps are something or not, the bottom line is that they were there, could have turned into something, and now will not. In no realm of thinking do I see that as a waste of time.

I know I am not relaying his whole "Aren't you the little hypochondriacs" attitude as strongly as it was, but it really ticked me off. We act condescending to people being proactive with their health? Moreover, John is a daddy now and the LAST thing I want to have happen is Molly (or Matthew) lose their daddy. Don't belittle us because we worry and care.

And now, as I type, I am watching an ASPCA commercial and these sad, sad, SAD puppies and kitties are just looking at me with such soulful eyes. How can people be so indifferent to suffering in this world? It's all over the place, and yet, we seem to just walk on by, ignore and be glad it isn't "US" who are hurting and suffering.

I just don't know how some people can just live their little indifferent lives, completely unaware of how to them something is nothing, but to others, nothing could be everything.

I'm done ranting. I realize I made little sense. Like I said, hormones talking I am sure. But in any event, as much as my heart hurts sometimes to see all the hurting in the world, I am so thankful to God that He gave me compassion for others. I can't imagine living life in ignorance.


  1. I hear ya! I have those days too (and I don't think I could blame it on hormones really)
    Actually before I knew I was pregnant (by that I mean a couple weeks along, not 9 months like those ladies on TV), I had one of those days. Bad. I broke down crying in public. I was so angry at all the cruelty and hate in the world. I was weeping all day and my husband thought I had snapped. Absolutely uncontrollable. I physically felt overwhelmed by the immense sadness for the world. Oddly enough, the day was September 10, 2001

  2. Ok first, Mala's meltdown on September 10 is REALLY crazy! Sometimes we just sense these things...amazing.

    Second, I am so over the indifference. Sometimes I just want to be that way myself and give up on this world, but that's not exactly what we're called to do. So, we press on and strive to do better than everyone else and just PRAY to bring them to a higher level rather than be brought down to their's.

    Glad John had a successful procedure. Let me know how the results come out!

  3. I can't watch the commercial with the Sarah McLaughlin song, it makes me soooo sad. The thing goes on forever too. I think it is good cause people need to not be indifferent but because I am not one of those people (3 adopted dogs and an adopted kid) I choose not to watch the commercial cause it is really emotionally devastating.

    Oh and the doctor thing, soooo not surprised. Alot of them seem to think they walk on water and shouldn't be questioned by those beneath them. I am aways reading up on conditions and side effects and asking lots of questions so I basically annoy them alot!=)