Monday, August 23, 2010

Still A Boy!

I got some very nice and supportive comments about the Teacher Club. Thank you. I want to be clear, though. I have absolutely, positively NO regrets about not teaching anymore. I have wanted to be a SAHM since I was a little girl. College and work were just those things I'd have to do until I got that chance (and found Prince Charming to help me out with that...lucky, John, huh? Yes, I realize how 'archaic' some might find that. I don't. I think raising children rivals any job in the 'real' world and is as highly underpaid (in monetary value) as tons of other selfless jobs--think teacher, social worker, fireperson, police officer, military personnel, etc. I feel really, really bad that John doesn't have the luxuries of gardening, computering, organizing, coupon clipping and baby-growing that I do and I am grateful that he allows me those gifts.).

I think more than anything, I was feeling like I had traded teaching for raising Matthew and was thrilled to do so. I was EXCITED to trade that identity!!! I felt like it was FINALLY my turn!

And so, with no Matthew to raise and no classroom to go back to...that old 'purposeless' feeling set in. The guilt that goes with, "Really, I *could* go back to work...throw money in the bank, keep me busy, be part of new little ones' lives..." fights the reality of work being the last place on the planet I want to be. It feels quite a bit selfish.

But Luke is definitely my priority. I miss feeling like I have the camaraderie I've enjoyed for the last several, several years, but I wouldn't trade the intimacy I get to have with Luke on a daily basis for anything in this world. I was just feeling wistful...thinking of how it should have been.

And knowing there are no shoulds.


So--19 weeks! Twenty weeks *officially* marks the half-way point for a pregnancy, as 40 weeks is the going rate for gestation.

Knowing we are delivering at 38 means that today, we are half-way! I've been counting up-to thus I feel like I'm mid-way through a deployment (yes, the military permeates analogies whether I want it to or not) and am counting the days down.

I love that feeling.

Luke is definitely different in his movement patterns than Matthew was. Yesterday, I hardly felt Luke at all for most of the day (listened to him with the doppler twice several hours apart) and was a teeny bit worried. True to his Ennis-hood (not that Matthew wasn't, I just think he took a bit more after his mommy in some things), Luke likes his food. Every time I eat anything, I feel him going to town. As yesterday was Sunday and I treat myself to a teeny bit of coffee on Sunday mornings, I figured after Captain Crunch and coffee, he'd be wiggly all through church. Not so much. He did move some, so once I started feeling that, I felt better, but then for most of the day, nada. I ate...and ate some more...and ate some more. Finally, around 5ish, I started feeling him more and felt a lot better. It kept up and then by the time we went to bed (around 10ish), he was non-stop. I fell asleep around 11 or so and yep, he was still up.

Apparently my Luke thinks the night time is the right time.

Oh boy!

I've picked up about two or so pounds this week. I'm about 102 consistently, though the scale hit 103.2 Friday when we went up to Baltimore for Restaurant Week and had YUMMY dinners with cousin Andi and a friend. So, all in all, that's about a 2-3 pound total weight gain. At this point with Matthew, I weighed about the same, but the weight gain was 5-6 pounds since I started a little bit lower. There's still plenty of time to gain weight!

I'm mostly in maternity clothes, but I can strangely fit into some pre-pregnancy dresses--I find this strange since my body shape and weight distribution really changed after Matthew was born. Even when I got back to pre-pregnancy weight, I just couldn't wear a lot of things because my body was different. I wore two dresses this week that were not maternity and really not worn much even before when I wasn't pregnant and John said they both made great maternity dresses.

Which leads me to wonder what they looked like on me on the occasions I did wear them before?

I pretty much wear dresses as much as I can because honestly, my scar pain and irritation is getting worse and worse. The keloiding is getting thicker and having things hug my waistline is just uncomfortable.

Sleeping a bit better these days, mainly because I think I am burning up a lot of energy getting a lot of my 'projects' that have been neglected for these last months out of the way. My counselor and I talked about making sure I kept my OCD under control but honestly, I'm taking advantage of it these days.

I've been pushing back as I feel little Luke kicks, just for interaction with him, and the other night, I pushed back and felt his little body!!! I remember that feeling the first time with Matthew (in the shower, he kicked and I pushed back and think I got his shoulder!) and it freaked me out at first!! This time, with Luke, I knew exactly what it was and LOVED it! Wonder if I surprised him?

Dr. Shonekan this week, so no pictures. I'm bringing them fudge (thanks, Terri!) and then a week from now, Dr. Sweeney and more pictures.

Keep growing,'re getting big! So is Mommy! Even though I weigh about the same, give or take a pound, I am looking MUCH bigger now than I was at this time with Matthew! I'm also carrying Luke much higher--Matthew was always low! I have no idea of how to put pictures side by side, but here are two for comparison:

Mommy and Matthew 18w5d
(This was Matthew's first boat ride!)

Mommy and Luke 18w4d

Week Nineteen: Genitals recognizable

You are 19 weeks pregnant. (fetal age 17 weeks)
  • Fetus is around 6.5 inches (17cm) and 9 ounces (250gm).
  • Your placenta continues to grow and nourish the baby.
  • Features of your baby's heart, should be visible during an ultrasound.
  • Your baby's genitals are distinct and recognizable.
  • Scalp hair has sprouted and continues to grow.
19 weeksIf baby is female the uterus starts to develop, the vagina, uterus, and fallopian tubes are in place. Females have a limited supply of eggs in their lifetime. At this point your daughter will have 6 million eggs. This amount decreases to approximately one million by birth. If it's a boy, the genitals are distinct and recognizable. Even if the sex looks obvious, ultrasound operators have been known to make mistakes.

Baby's legs are reaching their relative size and with the increase muscle development occurring as well, you will start feeling much more than tiny flutter kicks soon. If you have not felt movement yet, you will soon. Your baby will increase its weight by more than 15 times between now and delivery.

Your baby's size is around 6.5 inches (17cm) and 9 ounces (250gm).


  1. Lori, thanks for the update. So precious you got to feel Luke's little body. I'm sure it was a nice surprise for him! wow, you are so gorgeous in your picture! I can hardly believe you're already 19 weeks! Half way-what a milestone! So cute that Luke loves his food. I'm sure he looks forward to Sundays for Cap'n Crunch and coffee! Love you...praying for you! ;)

  2. Lori--you look amazing. I can't believe you've only gained 2-3 pounds!

    It's funny--when Grant hasn't moved around in a while, I'll give my belly a shake or have a sip of caffeine...the other day DH caught me shaking my belly and asked, "Is that OKAY?" Haha.

  3. You are looking fabulous, mama. Glad to hear everything is going well and you are starting to feel some movement. Halfway there - what a milestone!

  4. You are looking great! You are definitely showing more this time - so am I! What they say is absolutely true about 2nd pregnancies!

  5. I just love your updates. And you. And Matthew and Luke. :)

  6. Aw I love your picture. Pregnancy is a good look for you. Wow... I can't beleive that you're already half way there. Congrats. I know you must be getting more and more anxious by the day. Continuing to pray for you and little Luke.

  7. Lori you look amazing...girl i dont think i was 102 for the past 15 years (ill be 31) if that is your pregnancy weight i love you!!!!

    i love luke, and i love him having his own personality and his own likes...Yes captain crunch is a delicious cereal i will agree with him...'feeling his body' ohhhh i loved was my favorite time with her...

    "Ohhhhh your half way there ohhhhhh living on a prayer, take my hand and we'll make it i swearrrr ohhhhhhhh living on a prayerrr"- BON JOVI

    sorry it came into my head with your half way mark and i needed to sing it for you....that little minie, diamond ring, gummi bear, LUKE is making us get so excited for his debut!! xoxoxoxo

  8. Totally understood what you were getting at last post ; ) I think we all just wanted you to feel supported. Again, you look SO awesome. You do look like you are carrying higher this time. Maybe that's God's way of making it physically obvious which pictures are just Matthew and now, which one's belong to Luke. WooHoo for the halfway point! XOXO

  9. So happy that Luke is progressing so nicely!!

    Both my pregnancies were similar in a lot of ways, but definitely NOT in the kicking/activity department. Tom was pretty quiet, and since he was my first, I didn't know any differently. (Do you think low tone starts in utero?) Nat, on the other hand, beat the heck out of me. I felt like the body bag on a kickboxing video, only inside out.

  10. I just have to say, you look adorable!! ;-)

  11. Feeling them move around in there is such a wonderful feeling! You look absolutely amazing :)

  12. So glad you can be a stay at home mom with your little Luke. You've been waiting so long and finally you're going to land the best job ever!

  13. Yippee for half-way!! You are looking fabulous. Congrats!

  14. I'm so glad you get to stay home with little Luke!! I can remember feeling a little lost after I decided to stay home with Gavin, it was kind of a big adjustment after working for over 10 years. But I'm so glad I get to stay home with him!!! I wouldn't want to miss a thing and haven't so far:). I love to read your updates and see your new photos. You look great!!!

  15. You look lovely! So fun to feel all of those movements. Yes, I think you should be worried that he is up all hours of the night. You should hang a "do not disturb" sign. :)

  16. So glad you'll finally get to be the SAHM you've dreamed about. Being so long in coming may make it just a little sweeter. Can't wait to read posts about "another day full of blow-out diapers, 20-minute naps, teething tantrums, and a few precious snuggles that made everything else worth it."

    Halfway! It's amazing getting to know the person inside and their habits and preferences. You're already communicating with Luke with back-and-forth jab-fests :) If the Captain Crunch doesn't work and the Doppler is being uncooperative, consider Mountain Dew. I had one at a party without even thinking (stupid pregnancy cravings), and my daughter went nuts. I felt *so* bad - my first Mom Guilt moment. But I subsequently kept one in the pantry for pregnancy #2 just in case he was making me nervous.

    P.S. Love the polka-dot dress. You're definitely carrying higher - hope that doesn't make breathing more of a challenge in the coming weeks!

  17. I look forward to Luke updates. I totally love that you play with him and he plays back! Your baby bump is adorable! It is so wonderful that you get to stay at home and enjoy every second with your little man. I know what you mean about not going back. I wouldn't give up this opportunity to be home for much of anything. Even when my little pistol, 3 year old dumps an entire box of Gain on the laundry room floor and proceeds to sort it into three different piles. I guess that is what I get for paying more attention to math lessons than her. I can't wait for little man Luke to give you such stories to tell! Hugs!

  18. You look great! You certainly are showing more---I don't know myself but I've heard from friends that it is very common to do that! I'm thrilled for you. I must admit that some of my friends and family read your blog regularly and never comment because they don't know how to! But they always say to me: "Have you read Lori's blog? She looks so amazing! She is so beautiful!" So.......I thought I'd pass along their remarks since they don't:)

  19. AWW. I love that Luke is already shwoing some of his personality! You look so cute in your belly picyures:)

  20. I love Capt'n Crunch!! YUM!! Halfway there! Awesome!!! My hubs loves to poke at Lainey when she's pushing against my belly.

    You are looking great! And I can tell that your belly is a little bigger this time. :) Sorry your scar site is hurting you!!

  21. You look so beautiful, Lori. Pregnancy suits you. I bought something for Luke the other day. It screamed "bad ass" (excuse my french), but I feel that suits him perfectly. He stays up late, uses dad's credit cards to order pizza, eats candy whenever he wants to... Love him already! Must say, staying at home is awesome. I do not miss the first day of school at all. Now I just dread Miss Nora's first day.

  22. I love the green dress, you are so adorable and I see the belly (Luke) poking out more and more with each picture you post.

    I would love to be a SAHM, that's why I moved to part time when I went back to work. Could not really give 8 hours anymore missing out on my living children.

  23. So happy for all the positives...half way, feeling baby move, feeling baby! You look great in your pic! :)

  24. You look really great! That's so great that you got to feel Luke's little body.

    I'm glad you're sleeping better. Just don't overdo it with the projects!!! I tend to have the energy when I'm doing it and then totally crash after.

  25. Lori you are glowing! I can relate about not going back to work and being a stay at home mom. Everything else was to occupy time! Isn't it awesome to feel them push back, like mom this is my space, thank you!

  26. I don't know why that picture of you on the boat just STAYS in my mind and seeing it was so familiar in this post. I'm glad you had one at the same point with Luke. Half way -- wow. I know it's a blessing to be at this milestone. Praying for you friend!