Sunday, August 8, 2010


I'm very grateful for a lot of things. I am keenly aware as I read other blogs or watch tv or read books or just listen to people that I am very blessed and the most devastating thing in my life could be (hard to believe, but true) so much worse.

I'm grateful that I have John. His work is crazy-demanding and he has a million things he is responsible for and he will still make me Oreo Blizzards (no DQ near us!) when I ask.

I'm not sleeping well still, and my back is starting to take on that familiar ache in the very same places it did with Matthew, and yet--as I sit on the couch with the laptop and a blanket, the sun is just peeking through the window on my left and is giving me glorious little glimpses of shadow and brilliance at the same time. Sort of how my life feels many days...brilliantly lit but always shadowed. I used to sit just like this with Matthew as I got closer to his delivery because I couldn't sleep then and I'd dream of how nice and quiet it'd be in these early hours with just him born and me loving every second.

I'm grateful that I'm reminded of those sweet moments, even for just the few minutes the sun stays in this position.

I'm so glad I have amazing, amazing people taking care of me. Seriously, the baked goods I bring to the doctors show nowhere NEAR enough of my gratitude! I know so many others have to fight for good care and advocate for just basic reassurances and the people taking care of me worry if I sneeze the wrong way. I am so thankful for the care Luke and I receive and even more thankful that I have no regrets about the care Matthew and I received.

I'm glad that Matthew's birthday has not been forgotten one single time in the last 8 months. Beautiful flowers have been arriving on the 28ths and remind me that family is certainly not just dictated by blood.

I'm extremely happy that for the most part, people do not hurt my feelings in things they say or do.

For the most part.

Realistically, what more could I ask? Even *I* don't know what will sometimes hurt my feelings until it's happened.

I love feeling little, teeny, tiny Luke kicks.

I love self-seeding flowers. Vincas make me happy.

I love that butterflies seem to be all over my garden this year. Verbena makes them happy!

I'm so happy to find sour skittles. Or when sour skittles find me!!!

I adore smiling babies.

I cannot BELIEVE some surprises! (I won one of the Angels at A Baby Named Nathan! I never win anything, except for things that have a pool of 1:5200 or something like that...)

I'm getting excited about what I'd like to do for Luke's nursery. I love this baby. I want his room to be perfect and special for him. I am the one who will have to come to how to do that while I go through the process of Matthew's room becoming Luke's. He will not suffer for it.

I love saying, "My boys." I love their names and I love the character and strength and purpose behind them.

I'm so glad I don't have any qualms about rambling.

A bit ago, I heard Casting Crowns' If We've Ever Needed You, and adored it. Loved it. Took it to my own heart. If I've ever needed God, it is NOW. It has been in the last 8 months and 11 days.
I love that that song has been playing in my car at least 3 times a trip and I wake up at 3:13 in the morning and it's running through my head.

I'm grateful for God's redemption and restoration.

I admit that seeing Halloween candy out in the stores right now makes my heart leap.

I've been to so many beautiful places in the world.

The cruise is soon!

I know what miracles look like. They have dimpled chins and big feet.


  1. i am grateful for you and your lovely comments which always make me feel better and cared for, thank you xxx

  2. Beautiful words this for a beautiful morning. I am totally with you on the beautifully lit but always shadowed. Enjoy the rest of this beautiful day!

  3. <3<3<3<3 no words...just beautiful...hope your back can ease up a bit, but i started at 22 weeks with back ache and NEVER went away...xxoxoxoxo

  4. I'm grateful for so much too. I'm very grateful for you and for your beautiful posts. Grateful you have people around you and a super awesome husband and 2 perfect baby boys. Grateful you are my friend and that I learn so much from you even from so far away. XOXOXO

  5. I'm grateful for you, dear friend, and what you've taught me about faith and strength. I love you!

  6. :D i am so grateful for you and your sweet precious boys!:D

  7. I LOVE that your soul is full and you can once again find happiness in all the things you "LOVE"

    Most of all "your boys"

    And, by the way, I like your "presumption" :) Keep on sending those + vibes my way. I'll gladly absorb them! Just keep me in your prayers that God's will be done...why is it so scary to write that sentance? Maybe its my control freak nature. LOL

    Much "LOVE"
    andrea <3

  8. this post :) I also love saying 'the kids' its crazy how little things like this mean so much
    <3 ((hugs))

  9. This post made me smile and my heart ache all at the same time.
    You are such a beautiful person, Lori.

  10. This post made my heart sing! Thank you so much for sharing this today! Matthew and Luke are so blessed to have you for a mother. I still want that recipe for the oreo blizzard. I love the smile in your words!

  11. Your post is just as beautiful as you. I am grateful for you your love and support. blowing your angel kisses. rub your little rainbow for me. Sending you hugs and lots of love.

  12. Beautiful post:) Hugs and continued prayers!

  13. So beautiful Lori. xxxxx sending you and Luke and daddy lots of prayers and hugs. Xxxxx

  14. Lori,
    what a beautiful post. And sooo beautifully written! Love you girl. :)

  15. Thank you for this beautiful reminder that i need to remember all these things I am grateful for as well. So grateful for you and your friendship. xoxo

  16. So glad you have so many people good people taking care of you and Luke. And also remembering Matthew with you. I love reading your posts. And thank you for your comments on my blog - your comments and advice are always right on.

  17. I love how you focus a lot on the positive, its very refreshing. Sometimes it is hard to see the positives, but we still do and that's a great feeling. Sour skittles I have heard are so hard to come by lately :) I'll keep an eye out for you, maybe send some your way :)