It was hard.
I hated it.
Friends, I'd love to tell you I am at the point where I am joyous about the thought that I will see my son in Heaven, but I simply am not...I'm selfish. I want him here now. I don't want to wait. I waited for him for over 10 years. How much longer must I wait to hold my son? Thinking about that is just not where I am right now.
If you have never seen the grave of a newborn, and I hope you haven't, it is small. The square of freshly dug ground was so, so small. It broke my heart.
We have an appointment on Friday to pick his marker out. Funny...I figured I'd be at the pediatrician's for his 2 month shots.