Wednesday, August 5, 2009

Back it up...

Okay, I feel like *such* an ungrateful whiner, but since this will serve as historical documentation for Matthew, I feel it only fair to let him know what he's doing to my back. Of course he's certainly not doing it intentionally, and I *gladly* offer my body as the vessel for whatever healthy growth he needs. That said, should he one day decide to bring some hoochie-mama he swears he's in love with home to me and his daddy, it's only fair for me to remind him of how in utero, I begged him NOT to...and since my back is SO jacked up, he might want to consider repaying me by giving aforementioned hoochie-mama the boot.

I'm getting to the point where there is really no relief...massage through PT or John (not for a while, though, since he's in Colorado for a while) helps as it's being done, but the effects are not long-lasting at all. Heat in various forms--clay pack, heating pad, moist heating pad, buckwheat pad, whatever...just maybe dulls some of the ache, but again, not-very long lasting effects. The chiropractor is a sadist, who basically reminds me each week that we are just doing damage control since the second I walk out the door, my body goes back to the work of undoing whatever he just did in preparation for birth. I haven't had enough acupuncture to really feel much of a difference with my back, though my sinuses enjoy it and are doing better. Tomorrow I will do some therapeutic yoga, in hopes of relief and maybe strength-building to help with labor.

The problem is that there is really not just *one* place that's pain-causing. The good news is that I haven't really had any sciatica problems, which are the more common pregnancy back issues. No, unfortunately mine are probably due to the fact that I didn't have a great back to begin with, and though it is strong, according to all my various practitioners, the fact that I am carrying so much more weight in my stomach and chest in comparison to my total body weight really stings. My PT lady was looking at me today and told me I gave new meaning to waddle. I look like I swallowed one of the big yoga balls, and my tummy is just basically pulling the crap out of any and all my back muscles, in random forms. Some days it's just my right lower Ql muscle. Most days, actually. Some days, it's the pelvic girdle. Or the piriformus (somehow connected to sciatic), which the chiropractor constantly irritates (no pain, no gain?) whenever he sees me. Then there are the fun days where I wake up with problems with the left QL and by the end of the night, it's back to the right. Worse is that sitting makes it worse...even with the lumbar roll. SO...when my sweet husband sees that I can hardly breathe (I don't even know if my lungs are still talking to me anymore since they are so mad at being so smooshed!) just from going up the stairs and he tells me, "Sit down, rest a bit," I can't....because it hurts! Believe it or not, moving around constantly is better, but then I face a bigger problem--I'm pregnant and get tired easily!!!!

So...the moral of this story, Matthew is this...please, please, PLEASE don't bring any hoochie-mamas home. Mommy will consider it a fair trade for all the back issues.

Oh, and don't step on any cracks while you grow up. Last thing I need.


  1. I love the moral of the story. I'm sure Matthew will roll his eyes about this when he is a teenager :)

  2. LMAO!!!!! I'm so proud of you! You're doing fabulous on your Mothering Guilt Trips!

  3. Tyler tried to ruin my already steel enforced back as well. PT was oh-so-fun...they do make maternity back brace contraptions that do give a little relief if you can tolerate them. I couldn't, or rather Tyler couldn't, I had contractions everytime I tried to wear the thing! One thing you MUST try is a birth ball (exercise ball) they are absolute heaven on the hips, pelvis and back. Get thee to Target or where ever and purchase one :)

  4. Just park yourself on the ball and watch TV for the evening. Or put it next to your bed and lean over and rest your head and chest (that's also an excellent labor position too!)

  5. Pictures!!! I need to see what you look like after swallowing a beach ball. *smile*

    word verification: teacheas as in "I hope this teacheas you a lesson." Isn't it ironic that you are a teacheas? Ha.