Grandma Jane's birthday....

....was yesterday. She would have been 61 years old and it's hard to believe she has been gone for 6 years.

I miss my mom every day. I miss her even more because I know she'd just be thrilled to death to hear every single second about Matthew. She'd have already sent me 1000 articles on how uni-kidneys (as we are affectionately calling him...gotta have a smile about it!) grow up to rule the world. She'd probably have already called my OB-Gyn 15 times (and would have worked her way around the privacy laws too!) just to make sure care was top-notch and anything to make me comfortable would be happening. She'd have told all her blog friends about how she was going to have another little grandson and she would have been so excited because she loved her little Jakie-Baby and all his energy! She would have framed all the sonogram pictures and had them all around her computer (her favorite place) with pictures of Kayla and Jake and she would have been SO proud!

She would be THE one the doctor would NOT want to mess with if I looked like I was in the slightest bit of pain during delivery and I'd not have to worry a second about the cord being wrapped because she'd be *so* all over that situation.

The thing I miss the most...and there are so, so, so many...is that to my mom, I was her baby. I think of how much I love and adore this little one growing inside of me and think of how whether it was a good day or bad, I was my mom's baby. It's a comforting feeling, knowing that you are someone's baby and knowing what my mom went through just in having me and then comparing that to what we've gone through to have Matthew..well, I appreciate that love even more.

My hope for Matthew is that he always, always, always knows he is my baby...and he's very loved, and he would have been an apple of his Grandma Jane's eye.