You were exhausted...a long, fun day with your aunt and cousins and the awesome Marbles Museum in Raleigh. Only 1/2 and hour of nap all day (whew...) and you were in your crazy, giddy, punchy-tired mode for quite a while. Fun, but challenging because you are so darned cute when you are mischievous!
I was unpacking the car, with you sitting in front of Backyardigans (a new show you like...still not much tv, but Wonderpets are getting a few friends in the form of Backyardigans and Sesame Street...COOOOKIE!).
Or so I thought.
When I walked in from the driveway, you weren't in the chair. I walked quickly down the hallway, and called your name, obviously startling you...because I came around the corner and saw you had moved the stool all the way over to the pantry...climbed up on it, grabbed a small bag of Krispy Kreme Crullers and were desperately trying to get into the bag. When you saw me, you got a look that was a mix of "Busted!" and "Thank God! PLEASE get me one of these!!!!" and I seriously thought I'd melt right there at how cute you were.
And then....that cute little voice...waving the bag at me and chanting, "Don-ee...don-ee...don-eeeeee...don-eeeeeee!"
You are your Mama's child and you love those Krispy Kremes.
I adore you, Luke. Literally, some days I feel like I can't take another breath because I am just so overwhelmed with love for you.
I was tired. Chest burning. Back Aching. In the middle of a mess of chaos—groceries to be put up, our things from the weekend scattered, a fabulous poopy diaper to clean...I just wanted to have a nice glass of wine and a hot bath and let calgon take me away.
But I held you longer.
I know all too well the days will pass too, too soon. Even the ones that drive me nuts and make me sigh because it seems like I take three steps forward and eighteen back and every.single.thing is a chore.
They will be gone too soon.
So, exhausted as you were, you fell right asleep in my arms. We sang a couple of rounds and you fell sleep curled up like you were my sweet little newborn after nursing.
Such a luxury these days...you falling asleep so contentedly and easily in my arms.
And I held you for nearly an hour like that. Listening to your sound machine. Looking at each wall—and being overcome with how loved you are. The wall quilt Mimi made you. Your L*U*K*E letters made to match your bedding as a surprise from sweet Miss Amy. Your Luke painting created just for you by Miss Stephanie. Another painting created just to match your nursery given by Auntie Shelby. Your birth stats and your beloved "cabby", star-"ish" and sea-"orse" lovingly cross-stitched by Miss Diane...the picture Grandma cross-stitched for your daddy...and gave to us for Matthew...and now looks over you as you sleep.
You are so loved.
It is the most amazing honor and privilege to be your mother.
All the aggravation and frustration of the day just disappeared as I held you and listened to you sleep as I rocked in the chair with you so perfectly fitting in my arms. The rhythmic, soft breathing that took me back to the very first days we had you and I just could not believe that God could make my shattered heart feel as amazing as it did when I held you.
These days are just passing too quickly.
I'm grateful for the nights I am reminded that I need to soak up every.second.I.can.