Wednesday, November 24, 2010


...don't really mean too much. They do, but they don't. I've said that before.

John, bless his sweet heart, asked if I wanted him to be around on Monday. I asked him why he thought I'd want that. He said, "It's the day Matthew died." Well, I of course knew that, but wondered why he felt that day would be worse than any other. Honestly, if I *had* to pick a day that would be worst, I guess it would be his birthday. And truly, the days I prepare for are WAY easier than some days I don't.

Like today. When the word 'exsanguination' pretty much had me

Poor Dr. Sweeney--he got an earful today. As always, he was just amazing in listening, reassuring and just sympathizing with us.

So, if we're mentioning dates....a year ago was my due date with Matthew. I just knew, knew, KNEW he'd be on time...just like his mama.

Yep, so not right about that.

Anyway...we had our weekly appointment for Luke today. We measure every two weeks, which is still probably a little close...sort of like watching brownies...there's way more way to tell accurately how much more cooked they are if you aren't watching them every 30 seconds. In any event, today was a growth scan and Luke was weighing in 4 lbs., 8 oz. He's already bigger than I was when I was born and he's 32 weeks while I was full-term. The measurements taken today gave his gestational age as 32w1d...which is exactly what I am. His head circumference was a bit smaller--31w6d, but that's his daddy for you. Some other measurements were right on, give or take, but the femur length was 2 weeks bigger! Looks like this mommy just grows long babies. Overall, he was in the 65th%tile!!!! Even the sono tech was sort of surprised and asked, "You passed your glucose test, right?"

Hmmmm....yes....yes, I did....but that was 6 weeks ago and gestational diabetes can come on at any time...especially toward the end of the pregnancy. So, we'll ask Dr. Shonekan about whether or not she thinks I might want to do another one just to be sure. Odds are, things are fine...but for him to continue to GROW in the percentile charts, while I STILL have only gained 17 pounds...well, like I said, she implied that it wouldn't hurt to see what my OB says and double check the glucose.

Dr. Sweeney said not to worry about the hiccups too much. He said it seemed like Luke was drinking up in there (knew he was a party animal) because his little tummy was full of amniotic fluid. But bless that man's heart...when I said, "I know, I'm just getting more anxious, I guess..." he said, "Well of course you are. How could you not?" When I asked how often we'd need to see him in the last two weeks or so before we delivered, he said, "Well, I guess we'll just have to get some beds here in the office for you guys, won't we?"

He gets it. He gets it because he sort of lived it too. Matthew dying shocked him as much as it shocked us...maybe even more because I ALWAYS feel like there's a small chance of something going horribly wrong and he, as a doctor with far more knowledge and experience, had NO DOUBT that things were fine with us.

So he gets that I'm getting more nervous because is everyone else. And as he said, rightly so.

No pictures...he's cramped and his little hands (both of them) were right up there, as usual. I figured we would be coming close to the end of good pictures because of him being cramped and I guess we've moved into that territory. Not too much longer, and odds are he will be spine up to boot.

He looked beautiful, though....and I was thankful, thankful, thankful.

Here's what my little chubster is doing this week:

(For the record, Luke, daddy called you a cuckoo bird...apparently mama cuckoo birds will lay eggs in the nest of a smaller bird...the baby cuckoo bird will hatch, and grows REALLY fast...pushing the smaller mama bird's other babies our and making the smaller mama bird work hard to keep the big old cuckoo bird fed...I guess I should be glad he didn't liken me to the mama cuckoo bird who apparently prefers 'the system' take care of her babies...oh, your daddy is a funny, funny boy....)

Week Thirty Two: Reproductive development continues

You are 32 weeks pregnant. (fetal age 30 weeks)
  • The baby is 17 inches (43cm) long and weighs 4 pounds (1.8 kilograms).
  • The diameter of the head is almost 4 inches (10cm).
  • Under the skin the fat layer is getting thicker.
  • The toenails and fingernails are completely formed.
  • In boys, the testicles will be descending from the groin down into his scrotum.
32 weeksDuring this time the baby sleeps most of the day. The uterus is getting to be a small space for the baby to move about, so you may have noticed a decrease in your baby's movements. The baby is still trying to move frequently but it just does not have enough room. The baby will turn its head from side to side and move its hands.

As space in your uterus becomes more cramped, your baby's kicks and other movements may seem less forceful. You may want to check on your baby's movements from time to time and do a kick count.

If your baby is a boy, his testicles are moving from their location near the kidneys through the groin on their way into the scrotum. If your baby is a girl, her clitoris is now relatively prominent.

The baby will now weigh about 4 pounds (1.8 kg). Half of your weight gain now will go directly to baby. If you are carrying twins or more, their weight increase will be slower than singletons because of the lack of room in the uterus.

Are you waddling? This is because the ligaments in your pelvis have softened, allowing your hips to spread in preparation for birth. If you find that the increased weight of your breasts is uncomfortable when sleeping try wearing a soft but supportive bra to bed.


  1. thinking of you all the next few days and always xoxo....

  2. Thinking of you and continuing to pray for you.

  3. It bears repeating: Always praying. Love you all so much.

  4. You are so right about dates. I've also found that a date might 'get' me one year and not so much the next. It's hard to believe enough time has passed to compare more than one year.

    Always thinking about you and your boys.

  5. Been thinking of you. Keeping you in my prayers :)

  6. I thank God for your awesome Dr's everyday. I can't believe how big Luke is! That's so awesome! He's just a couple ounces smaller then Jillian was. :) The pictures of Matthew are amazing at showing his length (wowza!) and I'm sure Luke will be just as long and beautiful as his brother. It's getting so close and my mind is on you and your family, every day. Love you!

  7. Lori,
    I remember this time last year as you anxiously awaited Matthew's arrival. My heart was saddened when I heard how he came and went home so quickly! This year, I'll remember and celebrate Matthew with you and celebrate the coming of Luke.

    I pray for God's comfort for you and John always, but especially in the coming days.

    Sending much love your way!


  8. So glad that things seem to be going well with you! THanks for your advice on the acupuncture :)
    I'll be praying for you as Monday approaches - and I can totally understand what you mean about the dates. Lilly's birthday was hard, but wasn't much harder than any other day without her. Love ya! xoxo

  9. Holding you close, I am glad your Dr. sounds like a wonderful person!

  10. sending hugs and thoughts as you make your way through the coming days.. glad Luke is looking so cute and growing so well!

  11. Keeping you in my prayers! Glad to see you had yet another good appt. I hope these next few days and weeks are easy on you emotionally, spiritually and physically! Sending you all my love!!!

  12. That was sweet of John to think of you. And I definitely understand what you are saying about dates being important but not. Glad to hear the appointment with Luke went well. Thinking of you.

  13. I will be thinking of you in the coming days. You are right about the dates, esp in the first year. After that - the *dates* are a bit more special ~and heartbreaking~ because your heart is healing a bit and it's not so crushing every day.

    I'm so glad Luke is growing so well & that Dr. S is so awesome!

  14. Oh Lori, will be holding you close to my heart <3

    *hugs* my friend

  15. You are in my thoughts continually Lori. I'll bet that lil' boy is absolutely adorable!

    I started to laugh out loud when I read about the doctor saying that they will have to put some beds in the office for you and your husband. I 'm actually still laughing! I practically lived at my OB's office too! lol Reading it brought back a lot of memories. :o)

    I hope that you had a wonderful Thanksgiving today.

  16. (((LORI)))
    Thinking and praying for you and sending sweet prayers for Luke's long awaited and precious arrival...and for your heart of mixed emotions in that time!
    Sounds like he is doing wonderfully! 65th%ile...way to go little man!! And how lucky for you to only have gained 17lbs!!

    I understand where you are coming do you pick and prepare for which days will be worse when you miss a child no longer in arms. It's so hard!
    But I will be blowing kisses upwards to sweet Matthew, and asking Zac, Ethan, Jack and "whisper" to make sure they have a great play day with your sweet little boy up above!! xoxo

    Praying for you always dear friend!!
    Hugs to you, a belly pat to Luke...and kisses blown above to sweet Matthew!

    Heather (heathershope - HP)

  17. Started to write a comment and kept saying "I hope [fill in the blank]." So I don't sound like a broken record, I'll bullet. Hoping that:

    * Your Thanksgiving was wonderful, full of gratitude to be spending it with loved ones and for so much that "is" and "is to come."
    * Looking back on this year, you're thankful for the place you've been able to get to in your heart and spirit.
    * You aren't too physically exhausted from celebrating.
    * Luke continues to do what he can to set your mind at ease...chubster indeed.
    * Your theory that the 28th and 29th aren't going to be markedly harder than any other day proves true.
    * The anxiety stays at bay as much as possible so that you're able to really enjoy your time with Luke before you have to share him with the world...moments of 100% joyful anticipation without any tinges of worry intruding.

  18. just thinking of you over the next few weeks, lori. praying for both of your boys and for you and john to feel peace. xo

  19. Dates don't really mean that much to me anymore. Like you said, it's not really that much different than any other day. I'd say though for the first year I let dates have more significance.

    Maybe Luke is gonna be really tall with those legs!

  20. I just wanted you to know that I'm thinking about you and you're in my prayers.