Monday, December 21, 2009

Things that make me smile...

...Matthew was going to have curly hair. When the nurses whisked him out of the operating room into the nursery, I saw the back of his sweet little head. His hair was dark, and he had lots...and the patterns were there and very wavy. He had his mommy's hair.

...I truly and wholeheartedly believe he knew he was loved and cherished. I sang to him, I rocked him...I even patted my stomach often as I would have patted his little back when he was born. I have no doubt that he could feel how much love I had for him.

...We had so many sonogram pictures, which are now priceless to me! We knew him so intimately.

...I saw him yawn at one of our sonograms. That picture is perfect and precious in my mind.

...how long he was! Mom said that the nurses were saying 22 inches!!!! We don't have the official birth certificate yet, but I totally believe he was that long. The picture, our 'rough' measurements at the funeral home really make it seem real. Then again....I knew he was long--I felt it!!

...how perfect his skin was! I joked that he was going to be one of those babies that had a lot of acne because *I* had a ton of estrogen and lost my once-great skin...yet his was perfect. I don't mourn mine as much any more because I was more than glad to give it to him.

...his chin! That's his mommy, Grandma Jane and Great-Grandma Gosnell's chin! I can only imagine the things he could have gotten away with using that little pouty chin!

...this picture...I'm so thankful that John was able to truly meet our son, and more thankful than I can express that he was able to hold his hand, and have Matthew hold back. This picture is one taken in the nursery before he was med-evaced to Georgetown, and I love it because it has John, Matthew and me--even if the 'me' is just in my name on Matthew's little wrist. I guess you can say that this is the closest thing to a family picture that I have...and it's incredibly dear to my heart.

14 comments:

  1. Sweet, sweet memories to hold dear. Daily prayers continue...

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  2. That photo IS precious. Just beautiful.

    Loads of Love to you

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  3. Incredible picture. Thank you for sharing it. Continued thoughts and prayers.

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  4. What a treasure. Thank you, Lori.

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  5. So maybe this sounds weird, but his nails were perfect! A friend's in-laws always comment on a new baby's nail beds. I thought that was a little silly, but seeing this picture makes me understand why it's a factor of beauty for them.

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  6. You will cherish this always. I'm so glad you have it. Love and hugs!

    And, just to make you smile (hopefully) -- word verification word? tallu as in, "How tall u think he was?" *smile* I always LOVED getting comments from you with those.

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  7. What a beautiful photo. Our family continues to pray for yours!

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  8. Lori, I haven't commented recently, but have been following along for many months. I could not hold back my tears for you tonight. Like so many others, I am very sorry for your family's loss of Matthew. I have no doubt that Matthew felt your love at all times. I wish you much peace.

    The photo is so very beautiful.

    Jackie

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  9. Lori - I love you, love your blog, love Matthew through you, and am praying for you often!

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  10. sweetest lori,
    that picture is such a precious gift, it is absolutely perfect. thank you for sharing your beautiful memories and your beautiful baby with us. i am always praying for you....xoxo, erin

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  11. That picture is utterly beautiful. Perfect, just like little Matthew. My prayers are still with you.

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  12. This is such a precious picture. I am so very sorry for your loss. We lost our Madelyn on 8/28/09 after about an hour and a half outside the womb. I'm sorry you are going through this pain - I am always deeply saddened to see another mother join this awful "club".

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