Monday, June 25, 2012

Our Last "First" Picture?

Today was the big day.

Several weeks of shots and scans and lots of driving and here we are.

My FIFTH embryo transfer.

I realized that I was driving to Rockville...five.

I've had five bracelets on my wrist for five different days I walked into that clinic praying I'd come out pregnant for the long haul.

I have one little boy that I get to love on each and every day.

Those numbers don't really match well, do they?

Holy tan!!!  Can you tell I live at the beach?  That's with lathering of the sunscreen too!!!!

Today went great!  I always do acupuncture before and after, and even doing so, my nerves apparently could not trick my blood pressure!  It was 152/110 when I went in for the transfer and was only down to 144/99 when I left.

I'm a 90/60 kind of girl, remember?  Even though I was optimistic, I guess my body isn't so easily fooled!

Dr. Stillman did the transfer.  He did the retrieval for Matthew, and is a pillar of Shady Grove, so I was in excellent hands!  Dana was a tech who helped me, and she was also one who helped me in December when I had to do my HSG.  It was a nice and reassuring little sign that I was not alone!

My embryologist was amazing.  She was the same one who did the transfer for Trey in February and she remembered me.  She said some very, very special things before the transfer and gave me the low-down on the blasts after and I cannot emphasize how grateful I was!

Dr. Stillman said he had emailed Dr. K because he wanted me to only transfer one!  ONE?  I told Dr. Stillman that we'd always transferred two and he said, "Yeah, but they were day 3.  You transferred two day fives and had a twin pregnancy that didn't work out."

Ouch.  I know his point was that the blasts with Trey's cycle both took and he would prefer a single pregnancy, therefore he'd prefer only transferring one because he felt the odds of it working were good.  That was encouraging.

But hearing, "A twin pregnancy that didn't work out," just stung.  Can't lie.

He had NO problem getting the catheter in, though I have a crooked uterus, haha.  He said if anything, my cervix was thinner, like as though I'd given birth, vs. thicker and closed or stenotic.  Have I mentioned how much I love Shady Grove?

Anyway, even though he'd prefer one transferred, two were already thawed out, so that's what we did.

And apparently, they looked great!  They looked as good as if they were a good fresh cycle.  Thawing went great, fragmentation was minimal and I was stoked.

I think my favorite part of the whole thing was right when Dr. Stillman shot the embryos out into my uterus.  I could watch it on the screen, and the collective, "Ahhhh!  Perfect!" from everyone in the room  made my heart just leap!

Again, it just couldn't have gone any better.

Just what I wanted...and just what scares me, as usual, as I wait for the other shoe to drop.

Dear Lord, I just feel like I ought to be out of shoes right about now....

I'm doing this all by myself...John has been gone for most of June, so Luke and Grandma are spending some quality time together and I am in Rockville myself.  I checked into a hotel, plopped myself onto the bed, have ordered room service and may or may not have been following a Sister Wives marathon.

Sort of like a mini-vacay.

Sort of.

I've been a bit goofy with the iphone camera since I've been by myself.  Why not, right?

Don't see this shot every day, do you????

Right before they all came in...this is what a blood pressure of 152/110  looks like!

 Dr. Stillman gave me the first pictures of the embryos inside Mommy's tummy!

Praying this is our LAST "First" picture!!!!!!
(Umm, and how great is that sweet little "Good Luck!" with the happy face??????)

The bigger one on the left looks a bit more promising, but they both look pretty great, according to those who know!!!!

I totally get the logic behind this...and do most of them anyway, but have to admit...not fond of using it all as a learning experience.  Yuck.  I'm tired of learning.

Yes, so...relaxing acupuncture followed by a fluffy bed, barbecue cornchips, Harry and David cookies, the computer and some crazy reality tv.  Hmmmm....what to do with myself????? Oh, yeah, stay in bed!

 I can't figure out how to use arrows in photoshop, so these are drawn, but the bigger arrow with the fatter head on the left is pointing to where the embryos are.  The thinner one on the right is the catheter...see how it's crooked and sort of has to bend?  Dr. Stillman said that was fun to navigate through the crooked, ha ha!


  1. LOVE the stir up pic HA I laughed out loud FOR REAL!!!! Hmmmmn Harry & David cookies...maybe you have "names" for the little cookies inside of you ;) <3

  2. Praying for all good things! Liking Jenn's Harry and David idea.

  3. Sending good thoughts your way! Come on - Bake, babies bake! I'm sure there are many folk tales out there about what you should do or shouldn't do in this sort of situation. (I swear I read somewhere it's good luck to eat fries or something.) But, I compiled my own list for you. :)

    1) While you're resting - read the Fifty Shades of Grey Triology. Even if you aren't trying to get pregnant and are in fact celebrate - that book will still knock you up.

    2) Start a brand new job, volunteer to be a bride's maid, or decide to get your driver's license renewed....committing to any of those will almost certainly mean that you will be HUGE when the time comes.

    3) Or....quite your job! That's how I got pregnant with my second. Lost my job and boom! I think fertilized eggs are repelled by the smell of money.

    In all serious though (and totally not trying to make light of what you're going through)....I really do hope/pray/wish that everything 'takes' and that you will have two beautiful babies. (Or maybe end up with triplets or quads.) I'm not sure if that's what you're hoping for.....but you deserve everything your heart desires.

  4. I have everything crossed for your"Last "first" picture".

    The TWW is terrible. I could never go past 7dpo with out starting rigorous obsessive testing :) I am not sure what the rules are in IVF or if you are encouraged to NOT test (TORTURE!)

    Also...I am so glad I am not alone in my love for Sister Wives. I ADORE that show. It is strange and yet captivating all at the same time.

    I can't wait to read about a positive test, and for this to be your time and your turn.

    Have a lovely hotel mini vacation!

  5. Put your feet up and relax! Praying this may be your "last first picture."

    And you look fabulous. Seriously!

  6. Your pictures made me laugh! You're such a trooper. :)

    I'm really nervous about our embryos surviving the thaw process, so it's always encouraging to me when I hear of happy results in that area. I know the technology is very advanced and our little ones will be in good hands, but it's hard not to worry.

    Anyway, praying for sticky babies!!

  7. love and prayers and so excited for you guys... can't wait for your GOOD news in a few weeks xoxo

  8. Lori, you are awesome. I hope that an embryo turns into a full-blow, healthy, baby-comes-home-at-the-end pregnancy! Thanks for sharing this part of the process.

  9. I laughed out loud at the mention of Sister Wives! Watching it is one of my guilty pleasures! I find the family dynamics interesting. I love getting to know more about how it all works, and also about the kids! Probably because I always wanted a house full of them myself! ;0) I hope Meri goes for the IVF. I am a Momma that had to stop after two children. Too high risk. I still have my regrets that we didn't have at least one more. I tried to talk my husband into adoption, but his heart just wasn't into it. ;0(

    I am praying that those little embryos stick like they are stuck there with Gorilla Glue! I liked the way that a previous poster called them cookies. Super cute!

    Love and Hugs <3


  10. Sending lots of sticky dust your way momma. ;) Enjoy that bed while you can!

  11. Wow! So glad everything went great..and no more SHOES! You are out of them..go barefoot for the rest of summer :) Oh, and throw mine out too!

  12. So glad everything went well! Can't wait to see what happens. And you are adorable with your camera phone ;)

  13. OH MY GOSH! You had me laughing out loud at your "footshot" hehe! Congrats!! Praying for you that five is your lucky number =) Follow that list and relax <3 all my love sweet girl!

  14. Go embies! Love the pics too! Lots of love Lori :) Rest up xoxoxo Nan

  15. Stick embies, stick! Wishing you GREAT news in a few weeks! Love the stirrup pickture.

  16. (((((((((((((((((((((((((((praying and hugs!!!))))))))))))))))

    and yes, i too would love to know the names of these precious ones that i've been driving the Father nuts about ;) xoxoxoxxoxo that is, if you are sharing their names. i understand if you are keeping that tidbit to yourself.

  17. Lori, sending lots of prayers your way. *hugs*

  18. Good luck, Lori! I really hope you get to have the second child you want.

    Sarah from New Zealand

  19. Praying for you and have been for the last few weeks. May you feel at peace through all of this and may God give you the desires of your heart. Sending lots of love and hugs your way!

  20. I too laughed out loud at the stirrup picture!! You are hilarious. The mini-vacay sounds nice, but I know you're missing your guys too! I would like some of those cookies as well, so just send some my way! Praying also that this is your last "first" picture and that there is a bring home baby on or around March 11th (I think I counted that right at 39 wks)! Big hugs to you my sweet friend!!!

  21. Hoping for your last "first" as well. May you bring home a healthy baby in nearly 40 weeks.

  22. So excited for you! Fingers are crossed- look at the one that is already hatching! Awesome!!! xo

  23. Hi Lori, I found your blog in April when I found out I was pregnant through an iui with Shady Grove Rockville. I conceived twins as well yet lost them both in May (Dr. Stillman did one of my sonograms). I was actually at SGF Rockville too on Monday and found out our first cycle post miscarriage did not lead to a pregnancy. I was back today for my baseline sonogram and everything looks "perfect" so we are praying this cycle leads to a healthy full term baby. I hope Rockville is treating you well (I live in Rockville) and that both your embryos implant and provide you two healthy babies in March '13! Thanks for sharing on your blog.