Tuesday, October 9, 2012

A Pregnancy Test In Perspective...

I am not really a big fan of drama, yet I always seem to somehow be in it.

So, I have kept it quiet because I wanted to see what the doctor said.  I saw him a little bit ago.

He wants an immediate ultrasound, mammogram and biopsy.

No, not talking about pregnancy testing...

On Saturday, I found a lump in my breast.  I have not really slept since then.

Since my mom died of breast cancer, I've been very diligent in doing self-checks. As I am basically doing the EXACT opposite of what her oncologist told me: "NEVER do hormone replacement therapy!", I am hyper-vigilant in monitoring myself for anything even hinting of breast cancer.

There is definitely a decent-sized lump and it is definitely new and not normal to me.

I spent most of Sunday Dr. Googling.  There was every possibility this is just something related to hormonal craziness in my body.  There still is, though...the wonderful doctor I saw today feels like it's atypical for me to start reacting to crazy hormones in my body with cysts all of a sudden.

I mean, for real.  I've been doing this a while.  Never had any 'reaction' like this.

He felt it, and was 'encouraged' by the fact that it was movable.  He did not feel it was fluid-filled, and called it a solid mass.  He said that if I was any woman off the street, he'd probably think it was fine, but given my mother's and my history, this was nothing to play around with and so he was going to be aggressive in finding out what we are dealing with and take care of it.

To the extent that we can.

I really do not like the drama factor in all of this...wouldn't that just be my luck?  "Poor Lori...all she's been through and now this?"

But it is what it is, and I'm just going to take things bit by bit as they come.

I go in for an ultrasound and mammogram (unless I am pregnant) on October 19, unless there are cancellations that can get me in sooner.  I go in for the biopsy on the 25th.

Puts a pregnancy test in perspective, huh?  As much as I'd love another baby, I'd sure like to be around for the little boy in his room fighting a nap right now.

As if this was not all fun enough, the room I sat in this morning was on the other side of a woman who was almost 39 weeks doing her NST.

THAT'S what I should have been doing there...listening to my baby's heartbeat and getting ready to deliver him Saturday.

Not all this mess.


  1. Oh Lori... I have been thinking a lot about you this morning for some reason. This must have been it. I will be praying that it's nothing to worry about. I just don't know what to say, just know you've got someone who loves you and is praying for you in texas xoxoxo

  2. I'm so sorry. Praying hard that it is nothing and you get to celebrate that along with a positive pregnancy test! Praying for comfort and peace in the meantime while you wait. (PS, new to your blog via your post in the Still Standing mag - www.chaiandmandazi.com)

  3. I will be on my knees interceding for you dear friend!!

  4. I am so sorry, sweet friend. I will be praying and hoping that it's completely innocuous. I'm very glad the doctors are being so vigilant. Love, love, love to you.

  5. I am so sorry Lori. You are right, perspective. God is in all of it, praying right now. Love you.

  6. Lots and Lots of prayers your way!

  7. i'm so sorry to hear this, my friend. praying.

  8. Sending you lots and lots of good thoughts and prayers.

  9. ((((((((((((((((((((xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

  10. Everything crossed for you, Lori. Sending all of my love your way.

    x <3 o

  11. Oh Lori, my heart is with you. Many, many prayers from this corner of the world xo

  12. Lots of prayers & lots of love being sent your way. {{{ <3 }}}

  13. I have not been great at keeping up and after reading this, I just wanted to scream. I will pray.

    I am so sorry this is all happening. I too hate drama, but feel like I am a magnet for it lately (like the past 4 years). Praying for peace in the storm.

  14. I wish I could give your hand a squeeze, or give you a hug and say it will all be okay. I can only imagine how fraught with worry this has you, but feel in my heart that your biopsy will come back clean and normal. So much love to you Lori. xoxo As a side note a few months ago I out of nowhere had a sizeable lump, and it did disappear with time (and a cycle I believe) and I had never had a cyst like that before then.