Saturday, November 8, 2008

Seriously...why?

WHY do I watch Adoption Story? Why do I watch Birth Day? Why do I watch A Baby Story?

Seriously, I am a glutton for punishment. I truly, truly, TRULY am happy for anyone who brings their baby home and pray each day for so many who are also waiting...and have been longer than I have. It warms my heart and makes me cry (and cry and cry some more).

Nine-plus years of desperately wanting to be a mommy turns into more every day though, and just makes heart hurt.

And, says 'The Pregnant Man'--"In this life, we get to be what we want to be. I can be a pregnant man."

Oh yeah? Well, I want to be a mom. And have wanted that for a large portion of my life.

Doesn't always work out the way we want.

8 comments:

  1. Lori, some things in life are definitely not fair. But I know you will accomplish your desire of being a mother. I waited 17 years for my first son, believe it or not. Life takes many twists and turns. You'll succeed! Your yearning will be rewarded!

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  2. Having waited 13 years I understand your yearnings. Being on the other side I can tell you the yearnings are nothing compared with the undying love you will have for your eventual child...it will overwhelm you in ways you can't yet imagine...but I can't wait for you to move from "imagine" to "in your arms".

    And it WILL happen.

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  3. Your little Emma is going to be so blessed because she will be so very much loved.We waited 7 long years to become parents and at times it did seem almost unbearable but, it will be worth the wait! Hang on and know that God is Faithful!He knows our hearts and desires.

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  4. There has just GOT to be a happily ever after ending to your waiting. I know there will be! I wish I could shorten the wait for everyone wanting a baby. I have learned a lot in my life regarding children. With regard to how and when they come to us I learned how to be strong and brave when having my first as an unmarried college student. I learned an even more powerful reality in the month after month and fertility treatment that it took to have our 2nd once we were settled and married. With each subsequent baby I have learned to have a greater respect for God's will for my life. Does any of that make waiting for this adopted child any easier.... not really! I can imagine your pain. I hope that once you hold YOUR child Lori that it will be similar to what you have heard many mothers say: "that the pain is all forgotten so quickly".
    {{{hugs}}}

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  5. Bless your heart! Lori - Emma doesn't know it yet, but she is one lucky little girl to have a momma like you!

    I found your blog on fb - please know that you, John and little Emma are in my prayers and thoughts.

    Love,
    Kristi (arnold) Ross

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  6. Girl - I'm glad I don't get those channels!

    -jes

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  7. I have had to quit watching the adoption story because I get tired of crying everytime I watch it. I understand your being upset but you will have a daughter one of these days. We all know where you are coming from and we are here for you. Just keep praying.

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  8. Thnking of you Lori. I wish I could write something profound and meaningful, but all the other posts pretty much cover it. Just knowing how much you want little Emma is a blessing in my life because it is is a window in the love my mother had for me when she was waiting for me to come into her life.

    The wait has been long and painful, but will not last forever. The reward of little Emma... now that will last a lifetime.

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