Wednesday, May 7, 2008

How will I know???

Rain, rain, rain...please, please, PLEASE Lord, send rain. If the misery I am in right now is due to allergies, clean it up!!! If not, thank goodness I have my official dossier medical exam tomorrow and will actually see my wonderful doctor. I made this appointment a month ago, because that's just what you do with military health care. Who knew that I would have the ailments from which I am now suffering and the timing would be perfect? I know, I know...God did.

So...Lord, how do I know when/if I back away from this program/this country? As I've noted, we haven't gotten much information from our agency about what's going on in Kyrgz with the program. Now, I totally believe each agency has a different relationship in-country and within DC and each agency has different requirements and each agency will share different pieces of information based on its knowledge. The fact that mine hasn't shared much doesn't truly alarm me all that much because there just may not be much official to share, and in that case, I'd rather know the certainties than the possibilities. That's why, when we didn't get an update on our program from our weekly agency note, I didn't freak out too much (ha ha, refer yourself to previous posts if you want to see what a liar I apparently am :) and sent a little email on Sunday asking our agency whether or not the exclusion meant anything serious. No answer Monday. Hmmm...not even an acknowledgment of my email. "Okay, Okay," I tell myself...probably busy on Monday, let's give a full 24 hours...though I REALLY did not think an acknowledgement was that much to ask for, but whatever...So, yesterday, when I get a call from another fellow Kyrgz and agency friend, telling me that she heard from someone else that the embassy was back up and running, I was excited! That soon turned to a sick feeling, though, when I also find out that our agency had emailed her that day, but no mention of this had been made in that email. I was not upset that our agency hadn't mentioned anything about that news in their email, I was upset that I didn't GET that email. Nothing. Not a response to my original email from Sunday night (now Tuesday late afternoon) nor simple acknowledgement. My friend said that it seemed as if the email was sort of generic, just to our agency's clients, so she assumed everyone had gotten it. Novel idea, right? All clients getting it? So, I RE-SENT my original email from Sunday and asked if it was received, as I was about to send my dossier and was a little worried I'd heard nothing. Within FIVE minutes, I got a reply. FIVE. It was generic, just that there was no official news, some rumors, and there should be something more definitive on Monday. Still didn't get that first email that my friend had, though. When my friend sent it to me, asking if I really hadn't gotten it, I couldn't believe it. It really was a very generic letter, that was simply addressed to "Dear clients," (a group, might I add, based on my last bank statement, I AM a part of!!) and had a brief update. Why did I not get this generic letter? I understand that our caseworker is on emergency leave, and as a result, her fill-in is probably pretty deep in cases, but for PETE'S SAKE...if I can be emailed in FIVE minutes when I voice my concerns about sending my dossier (and $$) why, oh why, can't I be included on a generic update letter?

Am I crazy? Are my expectations too high? Am I just highly sensitive right now and need to chill? It isn't like when my caseworker WAS in town I felt much more informed!!

Lord, are you trying to tell me something? And if so, what?

(And while You're at it, could you maybe get me some renters for the end of this year?? Okay, okay...I know I gave that one to You already...I'll stop!)


  1. hello again lori, i tryed to don't worried too after the rumors thinking it will be a LOT of up and downs before we get our baby ! i still hope we will go trough with this country.
    i love to read your messages on the week :)

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  3. I would gladly send you some of our rain! We have had thunderstorms every night for a week here. My yard is like a swamp.

    Wish I had great advice on the agency thing. It is my belief that you should be comfortable and confident in your agency or they are not right for you. Still, I know AA's Kaz program is supposed to be great and people rave about them. Their Kyrgyz program is so new... so maybe they are just working out the kinks.

  4. I'm holding out hope that we hear something good Monday afternoon. And it is suspicious that there is not more chatter on the Yahoo group if the embassy REALLY has started processing dossiers again. Maybe our agency doesn't have any info because it's not really true. Speculating every different angle is driving me batty too! So hard being patient. I'm sure we'll talk more after Monday. Hang in there.