Rambles...

I should start this by reminding one and all who read it that I am pumping myself up with hefty doses of estrogen and progesterone, so the melancholy is even more magnified. (Amber, I asked John. He said magniscope is not a word. I think it was completely fine. There goes the vocabulary neighborhood, huh?)

See, the hormones make me ramble as well.

I failed to mention a few things about my birthday. My amazing mother-in-law, who I couldn't love more if she was my flesh and blood, made me strawberry cupcakes with rainbow chip icing, per my request. She also has been cleaning my house, cooking for me, and making me feel horribly guilty as I've just been sitting on the sofa for several days now.

I got a lovely bouquet of flowers on my front porch when I got home from church. A very full bunch of pretty white daisies, but more special to my heart were the two very special roses also included. One was red, one was yellow. My heart melted.

Today, I got another beautiful flower arrangement...a beautiful yellow bouquet of daisies. The card read, "....I know you love red, but I am thinking of Yellow Fish too."

You know, some people just don't get it. They *think* they do and try to tell you things that DO NOT MAKE YOU FEEL BETTER. ("Hope Yellow Fish makes it and is a boy because then you'll be SET!") Seriously?

Some people don't get it, KNOW they don't get it and just don't say anything at all. I am so thankful for their silence in lieu of the wrong words.

Some people don't get it, KNOW they don't get it and tell you as much...while they tell you they love you and wish it was better. That love and wishing is priceless.

And then there are some people who may not get *it* but TOTALLY get YOU. I am so, so blessed I have so many of those people in my life. Both bouquets of flowers made my days.

John sort of forgot about my birthday. Well, I guess he remembered, and more sort of forgot to do anything for it, in light of the fact that he has been trying to get his aircraft out to Minnesota since January. (Good thing he makes pretty babies and cooks well, huh?)

Today, I got a FEDEX package. To save the driver the aggravation of my zealous hounds, I went outside and met him. As I signed for it, I told him that it was my birthday gift from my husband. He said, "Oh, happy birthday!" I told him it was yesterday. He said, "Oh. Oops. Funny, because it was supposed to be for Tuesday delivery...I just got it to you early."

Did I mention my husband makes pretty babies and cooks well? Oh, yeah, I did.

Anyway, he sent me a watch. (Which should make anyone in our family, or good friends of ours who read this, laugh seeing as JOHN is the one who has love affairs with watches, but I digress...) My current watch doesn't fit so well as my wrist has changed in size since my pregnancy (along with my hip size, my shoulder size, my shoe size and my rib size) and so he replaced it. Very thoughtful.

What I love, though, (and what redeems his lack of memory) is his card. It's a small, very colorful card with lots of little kids on the front. Inside it says, "The whole world is smiling." His words are what gets him out of hot water: "The more I look at greeting cards, the harder it is to find one that says the right thing. At least this card benefits children. (It benefits UNICEF, so we'll have to have a discussion on that later, but anyway....) Also, sometimes, when I feel very alone, especially now that I am away from home, but when I see how many people around the world care about you and me because of our story and your amazing ability to communicate, I feel like the whole world is crying, praying, hoping, feeling and yes, even smiling with us...." There's a bit more, but that's my favorite part.

So please, if you think of me or Matthew, lift John up as well. He misses his baby boy, he is away from home (without the pleasure of his lovely 3-ring dog circus) and it really, really means something to him (and me too) when we are lifted.

As for the disclaimer at the beginning? I cried throughout the entire writing of this. I miss that little boy of mine.

The clock that mocks me....

When we first learned we were pregnant, John programmed a countdown clock to our due date. This countdown clock was originally Grandma's, and was used for her retirement countdown. We've been watching this countdown clock for the last 260ish days...and as I look at it right now, it says I have 13 hours. THIRTEEN HOURS. My dreams last night consisted of me saying to that clock, over and over, "You mock me, clock. You mock me." (I know, weird dream, but true)

Saturday night, I thought we might be in business as I was pretty much cramping/having contractions all night...but nothing regular enough or painful enough to wake John up and head to the hospital.

Needless to say, when we got up for church yesterday, I was EXHAUSTED. John must have been too, because he was CRANKY! Note all the caps in that word. Let me restate: CRANKY.

To wrap a very long (all day) story up: He was CRANKY, which aggravated me seeing as I figured if either of us got to claim rights on cranky yesterday, it should be the one who was NOT sleeping soundly the whole night before, but hey...that's just me. His cranky never let up, got worse, aggravated me even more, and I took it all out on the garden. I've been needing to pull the summer stuff out and rake and put the pansies and bulbs in for a while. I realize this is probably not a huge priority for most women a day and a half away from their due date, but it is to me as I love my garden and envision it as a cute little backdrop for pictures of Matthew in a few months.

John is king of hidden agenda. Apparently my plans interfered with his agenda (who knew?) and frankly, cranky AND a hidden agenda just were not what I wanted to deal with yesterday so I told him I'd handle it all on my own.

Which I did, mind you.

And paid for (heck, am still paying for) in spades. My muscles would be miserable today if I *wasn't* pregnant, but throw my aching, pregnant back and humongous pregnant belly in and I think miserable times 100 still doesn't cover it.

But hey, only 13 hours left, right? Once it's rundown, I'm resetting it for next week--Monday at 7 pm, to be precise. Anything that happens before that is gravy. Preferably on a turkey. That I am at home enjoying with mom, John's cousin and Matthew. On Thanksgiving Day.

Game on, clock.

TAG! Thanks, Jenny!

Okay...my dear friend Titanium Woman tagged me to tell 10 of my husband's favorite things. Hmmmmm....seeing as Dixie (the PITA that she is) seems to be the reason he lives and breathes, maybe I can get away with using her for numbers 1-10?

No?

Okay...let's see....

(And, of course, in no particular order!)

1. Dixie. I tell you, I have never seen anyone more enamoured with a dog in my life. He carries this 67 pound beast around like a baby. She whines, he jumps. She bats her little doggy eyelashes, he's PUTTY. That dog is the reason that I know he will be a great dad--if he's this much of a sap over a DOG, I can only imagine the trouble I will be in for when Emma comes along...

2. Airplanes. Loves them, flies them, watches them, learns about them, spouts off useless information about them, was made for them. Enough said.

3. His parents. John truly does love his parents. He has the total love of a son for his mom that I hope to have one day with a son of my own. (No, I don't want Emma to be an only child!! With how much her daddy will spoil her, I will need someone to balance the power!!!) He has an admiration for his mother that is very touching in a man, and though he won't admit it, he is a total momma's boy. Which is not a bad thing. And his dad...his dad was a wonderful, brilliant man who John misses every day, even though he doesn't voice it. He doesn't have to. I know how much his dad meant to him every time he tells me something I know he wishes he could tell his dad, or every time he looks at a plane (see above) or hears Lee Greenwood's "Proud to Be An American,"-- I know that John's world is what it is because of his dad and I know that for John, no greater man has ever lived.

4. Virginia Tech Football. This is a love we both share! In fact, let's just change that to Virginia Tech period--football one part of the many things we both love about Tech. We met there, fell in love there, and in a sense, grew up together there. Blacksburg is beautiful, we love our Hokies and know that little Emma will love it as much as we will. Period.

5. Camping. God love him, he's a camper. Bless his heart, I am not. He loves it. Loves the cold, brisk air so he can snuggle into a sleeping bag and hear the crickets chirp. Loves to cook a gourmet steak meal over an open fire with soaked oak chips. Lives for sitting around said fire with good friends and some Wild Turkey or Jack Daniels. In fact, is going camping this very weekend and is soooo excited, even I can't stand it for him!

7. Fishing. Much like camping, fishing is something John just loves. One with nature, thrill of the catch--all that mess. More than that, he loves to eat those babies up, so for the most part, I'm ok with him loving to fish. I'm not a big fish fan, though, so, it's just for the most part I'm ok with it...I hate those poor little fish eating the hook just for the sport. Then again, it does make my boy soooooo happy...

8. Cooking. I know, I know..I'm lucky. He may not readily admit that he loves cooking, but he does. He has a spice cabinet that is far more extensive than my shoe collection in its diversity, and you can just see him go to his happy place when he samples something marvelous he's made. It's just plain magic.

9. Carpentry. Again, I know I am lucky. He loves creating and building things and he is SOOOOOO darned good at it!! I mean, right now...the boy has--from scratch, mind you--designed, bought supplies for and nearly finished a shed. In just a couple of days. After work. AND BY HIMSELF! He's amazing in the things he can see in his mind, and even more amazing in how he can bring them to life. I TOTALLY tell him just to pay someone to do it, and he says no because he enjoys it!! Go figure. (But, keep building, honey, keep building!!)

10. Traveling. He LOVES to go on adventures...the more off the beaten path, the better. Drives me NUTS. He's all about the experience of the unknown--the adrenaline, the thrill of the something unique and individual. He's the one that wants to just drive through some small village in the middle of Italy and HOPE someone is willing to just take us in for dinner and a bed. More than that, he's the one that has DONE that...and is a better person for the whole affair. He's one brave fellow, that guy!

Wow...I thought this would be difficult--at least to be authentic about it, but it wasn't. John is the most intelligent, hard-working (under the right motivation) adventurous man I know. He is a sap with animals and I know he will be so with his little girl. He is trust-worthy and very well-respected among his peers for his ability to be diplomatic and open-minded.

Yep, I guess I did alright.

Now...TAG to: Monica, Nanci, Amber and Lisa

I'd love to TAG Maria, but seeing as she is bringing The Princess home, she may be a bit busy!!!