I know it's a very big deal--especially for so many who don't ever make it here (or who make it here and then something happens and that whole "The baby is viable!" statement doesn't really make you feel all that much better because it's still so, so dangerously early)...trust me, it's a big, big deal for a woman who spent about 8 years figuring she just wasn't meant to be pregnant and yet, in the last 79.5 weeks, has been pregnant for 64.8 of them.
Like I've said--according to my caregivers, I'm apparently pretty good at being pregnant. It's just the getting pregnant that is near impossible and the bringing a baby home that has thus far BEEN impossible for me.
I guess it's pretty obvious these days are hard. I feel it, I say it and I write it. They are hard. John and I went to the cemetery after church yesterday (our usual) and I told him these days are just getting harder and harder. He asked me why I thought that was.
I think it's because this is the time of year last year that I was so close to Matthew being here, I could taste him. Around this time last year, everyone was telling me that they just KNEW I was going to go early (ha ha!) and I started to REALLY swell and had to stay off my feet. I just felt so, so close to the end.
The end where I held him and kissed him and dressed him and would never ask for another thing in my entire life.
Not the end where I visited his grave every week. Where my biggest worry about a transfer (save something happening to John on a deployment, of course) is that my poor baby's grave will be dormant for who knows how long until we get back up here? An end that makes me mad every time John watches one of those dumb survival shows or "I Shouldn't Be Alive," shows.
Those people SHOULDN'T.
Matthew should.
I know, I know...there are no shoulds.
In any event, I am thankful, thankful, thankful we've made it to 24 weeks. I'll order Luke's nursery things this week and start taking Matthew's things out in the next few. I'm excited about what we plan to do with Luke's room and I think John is too.
I think that's the first time I've called it Luke's room.
No doctor appointment this week. I've seen a doctor 3 times in the last week and a half (still have white blood cells; no infection, though, so no medicine and no need for any more visits this week!) and we'll see Dr. Sweeney again (and Luke) on Monday. He's moving a lot still and I'm so thankful. I just hope that keeps up as MUCH as he wants!!! He has pretty definitive patterns--a few kicks in the morning as I stretch and wake up, almost every time I eat and A TON as I go to bed! Last night, I was reading and had my book on my stomach and he was bouncing it off! He also had hiccups yesterday--I think I've been able to feel them once or twice before, but yesterday was for sure the hiccups and adorable.
I'm growing. My scale is a filthy liar sometimes, though. One night this week, I went to bed and the scale said 111.2. The next morning, after I went to the bathroom, it said 111.4. LIAR! Who gains OVERNIGHT? Another night, it said 112.4. I took my clothes off (denim is HEAVY!) and it STILL said 112.4!!! I'm beginning to question its reliability!! (For the record, I'm going with 111, so that's a net of 11 pounds at 24 weeks. This is really where I started packing them on with Matthew, though, so....)
Regardless of what the scale says or doesn't, I AM growing--my stomach measures anywhere between 34 and 36 inches, depending on time of day and position of Luke (he's transverse as of the last ultrasound, but I wonder if he's moved?) and my belly button is still half-out, half-in but getting more and more out rather than in! He's so high--breathing and walking and talking are laborious. Heartburn is notorious. My back hurts off and on, but nothing like it did with Matthew--consistently and necessitating my back pillow wherever I went. With Luke, it's my sciatica on both sides. There are several times a day that I'll be sitting or laying and my hip bones/pelvis will just lock and I seriously can't move. It's really, really hard to believe how much that can hurt! I had a little of that with Matthew, but it gave way for my back. So, seeing as we still have 14 weeks left, we'll not rule out that happening still.
Sleep is just hit and miss. I'm basically taking it where I can get it and I'm ok with that. It's hard when John has early morning briefs and has to go to bed early the night before. Thankfully, he can sleep through just about anything. TV included. Even Sister Wives. Which is another story entirely...
Anyway, Luke's doing fabulously and it's really hard to believe there are only 14 weeks left. There's so much going on in the next few weeks, I really feel like they will fly. They seem like they already have.
Here's Luke's update:
Week Twenty Four: Practices breathing | |
You are 24 weeks pregnant. (fetal age 22 weeks)
Baby gains about 3 ounces this week. The weight is in muscle, bone mass and organs. The body begins to fill out with its appearance increasingly becoming more like that of a newborn. Taste buds begin to form. If mom drinks something strange or bitter, baby may be observed showing his or her distaste. Little creases have appeared on his palms. The muscular coordination of the hands has improved as they sucks their thumb. Over the next week or so, the sweat glands will be forming in the skin. Mother: Gentle exercise will keep you fit and help you cope with the delivery. Pregnancy yoga, pilates or go for a swim, aquanatal classes are a great way to make friends. Baby now weighs about 1.3 pound (600gm) and is around 12 inches (30cm) long. After this week your baby is officially considered viable. 36% of babies can survive premature birth at 24 weeks - However, serious complications are still possible. |
so happy!!! 24 weeks...what a blessing =)
ReplyDeleteI used to do weight watchers (8 yrs ago) and they would do weekly weigh ins because the weight fluctuates so often during the week, depending if you just peed etc....take a day during the week and just weigh yourself then. it is more reliable to track that way.
thinking of you and luke always <3
(((LORI AND LUKE)))
ReplyDeleteYaaa for 24 weeks...although I know what you mean by the comment "viable"! When I ruptured with Zac at 23wks...I won't go in to what the stupid NICU resident said with no emotion and total disregard to our pain. HOWEVER, thank goodness for our boys REAL NICU doctors!
Every day we prayed for another day, and every day we were granted that we rejoiced. One of my nurses once said "be proud of your accomplishment for today...and leave tomorrow alone". I loved her!
I can empathize with the struggle of feeling joyful of doing up Luke's nursery...yet aching to remove Matthew's nursery. I'm praying for you!!
And my heart aches as you wonder about the potential transfer. Many people will tell you that Matthew's grave is only a place here on earth, and that he is with you wherever you go...but there is something sacred about being able to visit your child's grave site. I know.
Moving would be the most gut-wrenching experience ever.
So we pray that won't happen for a long time if possible!!!!
I'm so happy for you though. I'm happy that you are doing well, and that you are going through every ache and pain and discomfort...because I know that even in those you are rejoicing :) And it makes me smile because it means you carry a life inside. And we pray daily for little Luke and for his safe arrival in to your arms and in to your home.
Thinking of you always!!
Hugs,
Heather (heathershope - HP)
Hi Lori !
ReplyDeleteIt makes me happy to see that you have reached the 24 w milestone .
As a babylost mum I understand the worry and uncertainty .
I do believe in you and a happy end for Luke .I believe in it so much.
Know that you look fantastic with your belly , I just wish there was a way to take all worries away so you could feel as fantastic as you look !
All I can do is to pray for your peace of mind and for a succesful next 14 weeks and a normal delivery of your baby .
Its great that you feel ready to do the nursery , thats also a milestone !
Sending you love - Angie
Wow! 24 weeks already. i am so glad you have made it this far. Before I would have said ow you have an amazing chance at keeping him if you deliver. Now I say there are no amazing chances just tons of prayers and wait to see what God's plan is. I have kept you in my prayers since I found out you were expecting again.
ReplyDeleteAs far as the scales go just choose 1 day a week to weigh yourself and do it at the same time each day. I honestly do not care how much weight I gain as long as I get to bring this one home with me. Sending you big HUGS!!!
Congrats on reaching an important milestone! I'm sorry, though, that the days can be so hard and there are always dark shadows mixed in with the sunshine. ((Hugs))
ReplyDeleteYay - another milestone! And this is a biggie. :) SO happy that Luke is doing so well. Thinking of you all the time.
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Yay for 24 weeks!! I had those same thoughts when I reached it last week.
ReplyDeleteI have decided even the scale at the OB is wacked! The Doctor's theory is that it's fluid retention. Hmmmm...I guess I'll believe it, I know I'm drinking a ton of water. I've weighed myself at night and in the morning and gained weight too! C was joking that I must have been up eating! (I wasn't.) Just ridiculous!
I'm thinking of you during these days and sending lots of good thoughts your way. I really hope your back doesn't get any worse.
Thanks for your continued support, I always love reading your comments!
Congrats on 24 weeks! Just want to send you love. Hoping that you find peace during this time. Sending matthew Love and Kisses to Heaven. Sending Luke a virtual belly rub;O)
ReplyDeleteHooray for 24 wks!!
ReplyDeleteI know I was glad to reach that point & I'm glad you have reached it!
Scales can be so funny, which is why I didn't weigh myself at home. Didn't know if I could really trust it.
Pregnancy def brings a lot of discomforts. Oh I hate the heartburn! I'm thankful for Zantac! lol
Catching up on you, my friend... been praying for you! So excited Luke is growing and moving. I cannot wait to see more pictures of him. And you look beautiful!
ReplyDeleteAnd I totally get what you mean about Sister Wives... ;-)