Tuesday, September 14, 2010

I'm waiting too....

So, I'm just going to put it out there. I've been very, very aggravated with the story of Job since Matthew died.

And if I'm really honest, a little aggravated with God's mentality (or what I believed it to be) in the whole resolution and ending of Job's story.

Because while there are many lessons learned, pieces of wisdom and insight to be gleaned and comfort found (although I admit, still some questions!)...one thing has just really, really bothered me.

At the end...when Job's faithfulness is 'rewarded' and he is 'doubly blessed', I've been aggravated with the notion that everything he lost doubled and some new children could make it all better. More specifically, he lost seven sons and three daughters...and getting seven new sons and three new daughters was supposed to be a reward? Like those children were just replaceable with seven new sons and three new daughters?

I've often thought, "No wonder Job's wife felt like cursing God. Her babies were gone and she thought God did it." I don't believe that's the way to go about it, but I have to admit I could sure see her perspective.

So anyway...I've not been happy with the resolution of seven new sons and three new daughters. They don't replace those first children, nor could the space in Job's heart or his wife's heart be filled with 'new children'.

I had a CASA meeting tonight and was driving home. I had the radio on and it was XM station 170, Family Talk. It was some preacher, and I didn't necessarily recognize his voice. I listened mindlessly for a few minutes (long day!) and then decided I'd put some music on. So right as I was about to turn the channel, I heard the guy say something about death and the book of Job. I stopped for a second and he went on to further say that for anyone who's ever lost a loved one, and more specifically, a child, the book of Job should present problems at first. Well...I was hooked. And listened. He said that if we paid attention, all the stuff Job had in chapter one was replaced and in double the quantity by the end of Job. All but the children. I'd never actually paid attention to the number of children Job was again given, if I think about it. I just knew he'd been given more children and somehow life was good again. So, the guy goes on and says, "If you have ever lost a child, this should bother you. Children are not replaceable."

I teared up.

He then noted that we had to dig a bit deeper, though and note the significance. Job received seven more sons and 3 more daughters--NOT 14 more sons and 6 more daughters, as would fit the double blessing recipe.

Why not? Everything else was returned and he was doubly blessed. Why not the children too?

Because, just as this guy said...children are NOT replaceable. Job WAS doubly blessed with children...it's just that the first seven sons and three daughters were waiting for him in Heaven and his 'double blessing portion' of children, if you will, was there on earth with him now.

He *was* doubly blessed with children...but half were just waiting in Heaven for him.

As my Matthew waits for me.

And oh, my sweet Matthew....mommy waits for you.

I too have been doubly blessed...with one in Heaven waiting for me and one inside me kicking around for more ice cream.

There are no coincidences, friends. That random man's words were meant just for me.

Maybe for you too?


  1. I never thought of it like that - thanks for sharing!!!

  2. Beautiful post Lori! Thank you for sharing. I was reading Job and the commentary this summer, and literally had to stop when things all fell apart, the commentary is staring at me as we speak and the bible on my other side--think God is saying something? Thanks for sharing! Love to you and sweet Matthew in heaven, and baby Luke in the belly!

  3. I love that explanation! That makes so much sense to me. I guess I just need someone to put it right out in front of my face sometimes, and think this preacher sounds wonderfully straightforward. Whenever I think about the book of Job, I think of you, Lori, because I know that it hasn't set well with you. Those words tonight were meant for you - and then for you to share with us. :)

  4. oh lori this is beautiful! I really needed to hear that! I have clung to the book of Job because of the devil testing Jobs faith. My husband just became Catholic 17 days before we lost our daughter. We were becoming stronger as a family, and perfectly happy in our perfect life. At one point I started to wonder how everything could be so perfect. then Rosie died. as a couple my hubby and I clung to our faith and God, because I truly believe it was the Devil testing us because he hates strong families (that is apparent in the amount of divorces and other issues with family) and he HATED the fact that we were becoming so close to God he figured he could make up deny our faith if our daughter died. So i read that book over and over, and like you, I was a little pissed that God didn't just give Job his original children back...he is GOD after all, he can raise the dead. But now that you put it that way, he was doubly blessed!!! Now I just hope God will bless my hubby and I soon with our second child.
    Thank you thank you thank you for your post, and sorry if I was rambling:-)

  5. I know I was supposed to read this message tonight! Thank you for sharing! Our children are definitely not replaceable.


  6. Thanks for sharing this. This is just what I needed to think about again !

  7. I just love how you hear what you need to hear.

    I need to pass along Luke's bead. Maybe I'll swap out the one I have reserved for something more Luke-ish.

    Love you all.

  8. that just totally made me tear up and really hit home with eli being in heaven and grant being here. i am doubly blessed. thank you for sharing!

  9. I love it when God speaks right to our hearts. Thanks for sharing :)

  10. LOVE that, Lori! Thank you for sharing! xo

  11. I always find comfort in "knowing" that when we are struggeling God intervenes. Just as you were struggeling with the book of Job, God intervened and put that station in your path. That moment was sent from above, created just for you. I've had similar situations and marvel at "his" hand, as its in everything.

    As for the preachers message, I do love his explanation...and this beautiful post brought me to tears.

    Love to you Lori, today and always

  12. Lori,
    Thank you so much for sharing this! It really does shed light on the story of Job.
    Lilly was a blessing from God, and I am axiously awaiting God's "double blessing" for Clif and me.

    Love ya!

  13. Thank you Lori!! I did need to hear that:)

  14. Wow! That is just amazing!!! That was so meant fro you and for you to share. That man was so right. Job was blessed double fold. He may not have had them all on earth, but he was the father to 20 kids. That really struck home with me today. We truly are blessed to have our angels.

  15. Well that just makes so much sense! Thank you so much for sharing this. I too was a little concerned about the fact that Job's blessings could be doubled when our children can never be replaced. I had never though about it this way before.

  16. I'm glad you shared that. I never even really paid attention that he wasn't doubled children on earth but I love how indeed he was doubly blessed b/c he had children in heaven and on earth and they both counted.

  17. Oh thank you for sharing this Lori! I always struggle with Job...and I am so greatful that you posted what this preacher said.

    When we lost our first identical twins my earth fell apart around me. When we learned we were once again pregnant...with fraternal twins...I thought..."wow, what a crazy blessing". I thought it was "redemption". Not replacement. I thought "how intense that we would be blessed once again with twins".
    I thought there was NO WAY anything would EVER go wrong with my pregnancy after all this.
    NEVER ONCE believing our first babies were being "replaced", and I don't even truly know how to describe the emotions and feelings I felt.

    When things fell apart with Zac and Evan and those 5 weeks I was hospitalized I still clung on to the belief that NO WAY would God call my children home again. It couldn't happen again.

    So when Zac passed away...I was (and in all honesty still feel these ways) stunned, shocked, confused, ANGRY and just didn't know how to focus on this new reality.

    I am thankful that you posted this...because I feel the same...
    I have been "doubly blessed" twice...but 3 of my 4 blessings wait for me in heaven.

    The peace and joy that I focus on is that we will not be apart forever...even though it may feel like it. We have the promise and hope that we will all be joined together through Christ's sacrifice for each of us.

    No matter what child may enter our lives again...they are not replacements for the children gone before us...they are their own gift from God...and one day we will all be together again. What a day that will be!

    Thank you for sharing this!!! I sooooooooooo needed this!
    I don't know how many times I heard "what a miracle to be blessed again with twins", and now "at least you have Evan".
    People just don't get it.

    Hugs to you my dear friend. Kisses up to heaven for sweet precious Matthew. And a belly pat for sweet baby Luke growing inside!!!!

    Heather (heathershope - HP)

  18. Doubly blessed indeed! And what a sweet sweet blessing your Matthew and your Luke are! You are right, there are no coincidences and God's word is very intentional! I am so glad that you were spoken specifically to and comforted!

  19. Wow...that was amazing. Never thought of it that way.

  20. Thank you so much for sharing this. I never really looked at it like that but it makes sense. I think the story of Job definitely brings on many emotions and is much deeper then it appears. It brings hope and fear all at the same time for me.

  21. LOVE this so much! Love you so much! Just makes me ... thankful that you heard this. I think it was a precious message He had just for you. xoxo

  22. Thank you for sharing and writing what you do, our baby nephew was born sleeping one year ago and it's still so hard for my sister-in-law to cope with, though she does amazingly, she is due to welcome another baby into the world in a few weeks, i'll be sure to suggest to her to read you blog.
    thank you!


  23. God is truly awesome how he send someone to implant just what you need into your spirit just when you need it. I never thought about the book of Job in that manner, just that Job was tested and through it all he was still blessed by God. We all go through so much but God continues to bless us. We can not replace the child or children we have lost but the blessing is that this child is waiting for us in heaven while some have also been blessed with an earthly child as well. Thanks so much for sharing that Lori, I needed to read that.

  24. This is an awesome post! I just found your blog, I am new to blogging and a new BLM. I have felt a lot like Job this summer, between losing our son, post op complications and a case of shingles! I love your explanation of how God doubly blessed him and I am also waiting on God to bless our family hopefully very soon. :) Thanks so much!

  25. I have struggled with these same thoughts. In some ways I love the book of Job, but there are portions of it like this whole "replaceable children" concept that have remained troubling to me. In fact, while we chose the middle name Joel for one of our sons in Heaven, stating our confidence that somewhere out of that pain and the ugly grasp of death, somehow God would "repay the years the locusts have eaten," I still couldn't quite put all the frustration and disconnect between what I know and what I feel into words. This is a beautiful explanation. Might I have your permission to repost your thoughts on job on my blog?

  26. this was the first post i read on your blog. thanks for sharing. was hard to read but so true- it meant a lot to me...