Wednesday, November 14, 2012

Confessions From "That Mom"...

I've never denied it.

As a teacher for many, many years, I saw parenting styles that made me cringe.  Don't get me wrong...I saw far, far more that gave (and still give) me some of the best parenting examples I know.

But some.  Oh, some...some made me so angry.

Sick, literally, if I am honest.  Just complete and total disgust for some people who totally took for granted the precious children they'd been given.

Of course, I knew that would NEVER, EVER be me.

And obviously, it's not.

I've come to realize, though, that I still am "That Mom," and you know what?

I dig it.

You know her.  You know you do.  She's the one you look at and think, "Wow.  The AAP recommends no TV for children under two and that kid is watching an iPad at Olive Garden. OMG."

"That Mom" who gives her kid juice without it being watered down.

"That Mom" who lets her kid stay up waaaaaayyyyyyyyy later than he probably should because we are all having too good a time visiting and as long as he's not crying, good enough for me.  Yes, we may pay for it the next day...but the memories made the night before?


I'm the mom who gives in and gives her kid a cookie at 8:30 in the morning.

He has an iTouch and works it like a champ.

Yep, we take it with us to restaurants, and he plays with it and watches videos (the same handful of Sesame Street, WonderPets and YoGabba we have seen a hundred times).

I bribe him.

With candy.

To wear his coat.  To sit still for half a second to take a picture.  To sit on the potty.  To give Daddy a kiss.

The boy loves his Skittles and Smarties.

I take him to therapy to work on feeding skills.  Yes, there is such a thing.

Yes, people laugh at me and think I am hovering over him and can't believe I'd waste good money on trying to get a picky toddler to eat.

I don't care.

I used to.

But I don't anymore.

My kid is happy.  He is healthy.  Given a handful of cookies or brownies over a handful of cheerios, he'd choose cheerios because they were 'safe' and 'known'.  Don't believe me?  Ask his therapist.  She tells me every time we go that a 'picky' eater would gobble up what he was holding out for and Luke will take a bite of cookie, decide it's not the cookie he is familiar with, and be done with it.
There's more to him not eating than him just being a picky toddler.

And I don't care if anyone believes that or not.

I think I've spent the better part of his life trying very, very hard not to be 'judged' as a parent.  Not to be too overprotective and give people the pleasure of saying, "Well, she's just that way because...well, you know...she needs to get over that so that Luke will have a 'normal' childhood."

Or, I've known that Luke has his little 'quirks', and the teacher in me has been working feverishly at home with him and all sorts of sensory integration exercises so that he's 'normal' to everyone.  To my friends.  My family.  My colleagues.

Every day, I realize more and more that he really is going to be it.  The one I get to raise.  The one I pour everything into.

And I am completely, completely, completely ok being "That Mom."

Life is too short.  And I could be Mom Of The Year and someone, somewhere would still judge me.  There is never, ever pleasing everyone, so as long as John and I raise Luke to be the man God wants him to be, I'm happy.

Luke knows he is loved.  He has a wonderful, wonderful life.  We often joke about how nice it would be to live the "Life of Luke!" because basically, it rocks.

Every decision I make is made in his best interest.  Could I be more hardcore?

Sure I could. And every time I get "That Look" or hear "That Tone" of voice from another mom, I cringe a little and wonder whether or not my "Mom" account just lost a ton of points.

But no more.  Tonight John said something...I don't even remember what it was, but my response was, "So what?  I'm completely ok with the parenting I do."

And I am.

So he has a love affair with Skittles?

He has an amazing vocabulary.  He already has a hysterical sense of humor.  He is focused.  He is driven.  He has a wonderful attention span.  He has manners.  He's sweet to kitties and puppies.  He loves to read and he can entertain himself for long periods of time.  He sings songs about Jesus and smiles at me like I am the most brilliant thing he's ever seen.

Good enough for me.


  1. I love this post. Nobody should judge another's parenting unless it is having detrimental effects on their children. A little tv and skittles won't hurt him in the grand scheme of things. Love to you.

    1. Love back! I think it's the whole coming to terms with the fact that no matter what, someone will might as well just be comfortable in my skin doing what I want, right?!

  2. Awesome post, Lori! Thanks for sharing what's on your heart. It's all about raising our boys to love the Lord and to help them realize their gifts in every way we can so that they can one day use the gifts that God gave them.

    1. xoxoxo
      Exactly! I want him to be healthy and happy, but most importantly, to know God and to live for Him. That's what his daddy and I do, and goodness knows we eat our fair share of skittles and do our fair share of tv watching, haha!

  3. Yeah for you! I am going to be visiting my family next summer and am going to need a serious dose of confidence in myself as a mother to survive that. Maybe I'll print off this post and frame it. That is my prayer at the end of the day, that my son will love the Lord above all else. Check out for laughs and sympathy about having a selective/restrictive eater. It's totally real,
    I know because I have one.

    1. Bless your heart! That's exactly what it takes—confidence in yourself, haha! I don't always have it, but more and more, I am seeing how happy Luke is and how he is thriving and feel like something must be going ok, right?! Thanks for the link...I'm headed there now!

  4. My toddler had a chocolate chip cookie this morning as a matter of fact! I like to think of myself as the type of mom who's a cross between 'Roseanne' and Bill Cosby. Somewhere between working class and 'no class'. lol.

  5. :)))))))))))))) you go momma!xoxoxoxo

    1. xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo Love you friend!

  6. I'm glad you were able to connect with a therapist for his potential feeding issue(s). (We started with "post-traumatic feeding disorder with sensory food aversions" and went from there.)

  7. Awesome post!!! I am totally that mom too!!!

  8. <3 Well I let him out of the stroller when you're not looking so he loves ME the most. just sayin.

  9. I think you are the best kind of Mother: the not-following-it-all-from-books-or-parenting-"styles"-whatever-works-laughter-and-fun kind!


  10. I LOVE this! Absolutely LOVE it, and couldn't agree more with you!!!

    Luke is loved! He is healthy, happy, precious.

    You are an AMAZING mom. Let people judge whatever they want...Luke shows that you are doing an amazing job being the best mommy to Luke!

    And you are is far too short, and sometimes "rules" are perfectly fine to be broken ;)

    You have love and laughter with a precious boy who will grown knowing how loved and cherished he is! And that is all that matters!

    Hugs to you my friend!

  11. You mean to tell me that feeding your kid cookies for breakfast is bad?? LOL well I have been doing it all wrong then and I have 4. Remember I am the one whose 4yr old still sleeps in her bed, as a matter of fact I am have trouble typing this because he is laying in bed holding my left arm as he falls asleep at 10:35pm. Yes it is late but I have been on the go all day and...wait I don't need to explain myself after all I am " That Mom" too.
    <3 u and Luke

  12. ABSOLUTELY love this! Amen girl!!!!!!!!!!!

  13. I commend you as always on your honesty. I don't like how other moms judge based on how they choose to parent their own kids. We all have opinions don't get me wrong, but were all MOMS and we should be supportive not critical of what another mom does. And yes there are moms out there whose parenting skills are more criminal than most. But giving a kid a cookie at 8:30am is not a crime.

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  17. Awesome post!! Here! Here! Couldn't agree more and the therapist in me is cheering super loud that you have him in feeding therapy, which I'm quite fond of! What is more fun that helping a child love the world of food?!? Haha!

    I decided to succumb to the "that mom" title a while back, I'm comfortable with it, it is me! I hover, I don't like to be away, I consider her in everything, and she sounds a lot like Luke in personality, minus the food, she eats it all, even things I prefer she not eat!! ;)

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