Believe it or not, this blog has not always been very heavy. In fact, once upon a time, I was able to laugh in everything…even in the most frustrated of frustrations, I could find something to laugh at because laughing always makes everything better.
Mostly, and especially since Matthew was born and died, it’s a way to feel validated and supported in a quick, easy and consistent way. When other women who have had experiences like mine—whether in adopting, or teaching or being a military spouse or having a child in Heaven or just in being a woman with a real life—share with me that they feel the same way I do or they offer their friendship and support, I don’t feel so alone. I don’t feel crazy. I don’t feel guilty. I don’t feel so hopeless. I don’t feel so unjustified.
And if you read, and offer any of the above to me, please know how grateful I am. Your comments and prayers and time spent in following what happens in our life honor me and spoil me in ways I can’t express.
I turned 38 Monday. My day started at 6 am with Luke cooing and smiling and giggling at me as I changed his diaper—which NEVER happens because he HATES diaper changes! I ended it around 12:30 am yesterday in the same way. He was STILL up (schedule off since Daddy got into the airport later and he obviously was waiting up for him!) and in his bassinet, was cooing and smiling and giggling at me so much! I loved it. Tessa wrote to me and said she bet that Matthew gave Luke some special snuggles to share with me. Starting and ending my day in the way I did, I am inclined to believe that.
Luke was 9 lbs., 6 oz! He is in the 6th%tile for weight. He was 22 inches, which was the 15th%tile for length and 11th%tile for head circumference (38 cm.) Dr. Sheth said he was very pleased with Luke’s growth and progress, as well as how he’s doing with breastfeeding. Yes, it’s easier…but still we fight! Well, Luke fights toward the end…hopefully the Zantac helps!
He also got a vaccination yesterday—the Pentacel and rotovirus. Next month will be the Prevnar. Good grief, the Pentacel has A TON of stuff in it—so I couldn’t even follow the Dr. Sears Alternative schedule if I wanted because the Pentacel has so many combined. I am spacing them differently, so I feel better about that, but truthfully, I’d wait until he was 4 or 5 months before I began vaccinating. Daddy doesn’t want to—we live in a community where there are a LOT of unvaccinated children and higher incidences of whooping cough and now polio too! That upsets me—polio should have been eradicated. I believe in informed vaccinations and not inundating a system, but I still believe vaccinations are important. It’s so hard to know what ‘the right’ thing to do is and the right timing for it.
He did not cry! He puckered up and almost started to cry, and then it was over! I gave him his sucky and he was just as sweet and mellow as always. He slept well last night, and hasn’t been fussy at all…he is such, such, such a sweet and mellow little boy!
He seems like he is sleeping a little longer in the night—stretching his feedings out a bit more. Now we are in the dilemma of to swaddle or not…he sleeps better swaddled, but when he stirs in the middle of the night, he starts to try and fight it out, and that wakes him. He doesn’t fall asleep well at all when he’s not swaddled though (unless he’s being held!) so not sure…maybe this weekend we’ll try one arm swaddled and one not and see how that goes.
We go to the pediatric urologist tomorrow. Hopefully, it will prove to be nothing much, but I am glad we are going to check things out to be sure!
Here are a couple of pictures from the week: