Tuesday, April 12, 2011

It's Crib Time!

Well, it happened! Little Bit was moved into his own room in his own crib this week.

I mentioned last week that I thought it might be time for all of us--mainly me, I guess--to be able to sleep some. I love having him right beside me, and I love having him so close to me, but boy, Luke SURE IS NOISY! He is such a loud little guy when sleeping, or trying to fall asleep, or just naturally stirring...and I have been on hyper-alert to every single noise he makes for the last 13 weeks...Even if he sleeps for a little longer stretch, I don't.

And that's just not good for any of us.

So, I told John I thought we should think about it and before I could blink, Daddy had broken down the bassinet, brought the diaper changing station into Luke's room, and basically cleaned out any evidence of Luke living in our room for the last 13 weeks.

I have been telling Luke all week that I know Daddy loves him, despite the fact that he evacuated him out of our room and into his so darned quickly!!!

Last night was night 5. The first night Luke went for about 4 hours before me going in and feeding him and then again another 4 hours. Not bad. The 2nd night was not so great. The third night was AWESOME! He went to sleep for good at 10:45, woke up at 3:35--fussed for about 5 minutes, went BACK TO SLEEP and I didn't have to get him up and feed him until 5:50!!! He went for SEVEN hours without wanting to eat!!!

The fourth night wasn't as great, but still ok--about 5 hours was his long stretch, and I took it!
Last night?
Ouch. He was inconsolable all night. I was up with him about 15 different times. Not hungry. Not wet/dirty. Just tired and not wanting to sleep for any longer than an hour max.

Needless to say, this morning, he fed at 4:30, and then again at 7:30 and after that 7:30 feeding, I swaddled him, took him into my room with me and we SLEPT for about 2 and a half more hours. Well, he did. I dozed. My main concern was just making sure he had some sleep. Poor guy. He has been his usual happy and jolly self today, so I'm praying last night was a fluke and tonight will be better.

It's not been as hard as I thought it would be. I guess I am slowly acclimating to the fact that he is getting bigger...whether or not I want time to freeze!

According to our measurements (he gets a shot tomorrow at the doctor's, and there will be official measurements there), he is 12 lbs., 2.5 oz. which puts him in the 20th percentile for weight. He was 23.75 inches, which is the 36th percentile for length and his head circumference was 15.75 in., which puts him in the 16th percentile. Not bad for a boy who 3 months ago wasn't even CLOSE to being on any charts! He has definitely grown, and is still going, going, going! Daddy even said he had 'cankles' and he does. Far, far cry from my baby bird! Even though he's gotten so much bigger, when people see him, they always say, "Oooohhhh, a brand new one! He's so little!"

I just laugh and say, "You should have seen him when!" His last visit to the doctor was March 8, and he was 9 lbs., 6 oz. So, considering he's gained 3 pounds in one month and 5 days, I'm cool with the progress!

He is cooing a lot...he even has little squeals of delight, but still no giggling. I feel it coming, though! He went on his first walk outside in the stroller where he was AWAKE, and he seemed to quite enjoy it. I'm looking forward to the great weather and fun stuff to do in it coming up!

He had his first international phone call to our awesome New Zealand relatives via Skype and he was fixated with the screen! (Much as I hate it, he sure does like tv when he gets the chance to watch it. I try not to let him, but he sneaks it in whenever he can!)

He is still gumming with his little fists and I'd swear he was teething, but his gums don't seem to show evidence of that. He CONSTANTLY keeps his fists clenched, and I know if he'd just open his fists, he'd get that thumb in and suck and he'd be sold. Instead, we are still on his paci, though he's not really very dependent upon it. Mostly when he's tired, which is about the only time he really fusses anyway. He's still so mellow and content, even though he is starting to come into his own.

His favorite thing is his little light toy from his play mat. He coos and smiles at that thing for the longest time! It's adorable and I know this is probably where these first giggles I am coveting will come from!

As usual, we are just filled with so much joy having him in our lives. He is precious and we are so blessed. I get overwhelmed some days with just how far we've come. My counselor asked me how my birthday was and I told her it was so-so...we then talked about typical marriage stuff--male/female differences, etc. and she gave me a really strong insight into just how much 'progress' in our healing we have made: A year ago, on my birthday, I was consumed. I was doing our frozen transfer with our little Yellow Fish and John was gone. In spite of being hopeful for successful transfer, I was so overwhelmed with grief and missing Matthew.

This year, I had the 'luxury' of being annoyed with 'normal' things...John being gone on my birthday (again, ha ha!)...him not taking the recycling out when he said he would, not fitting into pre-pregnancy clothes the right way, even though I've lost all my weight...just common, every day things.

Imagine that...fretting over those things being a luxury. But she was right...I'm not consumed anymore. Normal, every day things are more what take place in my daily thought process. Intense and raw grief hurts, so I am grateful for the luxury of having less of that and more routine thoughts.

As always, though, crying on my way home from the post office this afternoon, I'm reminded that I am always remembering Matthew. Hearing Steven Curtis Chapman sing those very words just brought it right back out to the forefront.

Remembering still hurts. Some days it is just less sharp than others.

Here are pictures of my sweet boy from this week. I say thank you to God multiple times a day for the blessing I have in Luke. I just love him so much.

Our sweet friend Miss Nia sent us this and we love it!

Stuffing that little fist in his mouth!!!

"Really? You mean one day some woman is going to make me pick up my dirty clothes? But daddy doesn't have to...."

The many chins of Luke....

"My mom is going to use this for blackmail one day, isn't she?"

"Well, I'm not very happy about that!"

I still LOVE my baths!!!

After bath, we Snuggle Baby and Daddy reads to me...
That daddy is SOOOOOOO silly!

If I am very still, maybe Lola will leave me alone!

So, let me get this straight...blackmail, huh?


  1. I promise you this boy can be a hat model!! He looks AMAZING in all his hats!!

    good luck with the room change. He sounds like such a good baby!! so happy for you Lori.!!

  2. Love the room change for you. (T. was never in our room, and N. moved out at 4 months.)

    Luke is beautiful! N's 5th-grade promotion ceremony requires an infant picture of her for a slide show. Which one should I pick for her embarrassment? (And doesn't it seem odd to you that she's going into middle school?)

    Matthew will always be loved, valued, and remembered even as grief for him fits into the patterns of our lives.

  3. Oh what an adorable post! Lori, he is just so so cute and handsome! He is going to be a ladies man for SURE!

    So, I have a question, maybe you can shoot me a message on facebook or email, NaomiSadie916@yahoo.com if youd like or have a free moment! I see that your little man fussed for about 5 minutes and ended up going back to sleep, one of the nights of the new transition into his crib and in his own room. I have Sadie in my room, in her crib next to my bed. SImply because, well I am living at home obviously and I dont have any other room available, besides, I couldnt imagine her elsewhere, BUT, I do need my sleep and do move every time I hear her wiggling around. I do read that babies do move around just as we do in their sleep. She sleeps sometimes with a pacifier sometiems spits out. WEll, she has only slept through the "night" twice, but maybe two months ago now, and not in two consecutive days. So I KNOW it can be done, but I just dont understamd why is she still getting up. I hear her cry and I jump right up and pick her up and nurse her in my bed then put her back into her crib.

    She isnt much of an eater doesnt want to take much before bed, so i figure thats why, but I dont know. but I do hear if you let baby soothe back to sleep usually they will or some cry in their sleep (which I have noticed at naps shes done) but just when I hear her cry at night i immediately perk up and get her. Maybe I should let her try and go back to sleep? I just dont know! anyways I hope tonight works better for you again and sure enough he will be sleeping through the night!

    love your blog pretty mama! (sorrry for long reply!!!)

    PS JUST WAIT until you hear Luke's first laugh, oh my, its MUSIC TO YOUR EARS! I was SHOCKEd when Sadie laughed, I did NOT expect it one bit and omg it was the cutest thing in the world!

  4. Glad you're getting a little more sleep, even if it's inconsistent right now, he'll get better and better! I love his little face all filled out and those expressions seriously have me rolling every time I see new pics! He's a doll and I just want to give him smooches!

    I'm so glad your birthday was better this year, not consumed and I know you never forget Matthew, but I'm sure he wants you to enjoy each day and relish in Luke too! You're a fab mommy and have some cute babies!!!

  5. I moved the girls at 1 month and turned the monitor off because I couldn't handle the little noises! I would set my alarm for their next feeding. Even now I have it on soooo low so I can only hear crying. Thankfully they are sleeping through the night so it's not often!

    BTW - He is right around the same size as my girls and he is two months younger!

    You are doing such an amazing job. He's such a gorgeous baby!

  6. He is just so delicious! I love all those little signs of chub! And you are so great with your camera!! One of these days I'm going to take a class to learn to use mine. But for now, I don't want to leave Liam long enough to do it!!

    I'm glad the crib transition is gonig well-ish for you! In the back of my mind I know the time is soon coming to move Liam. But I don't want to!!! I think I am more attached to him sleeping next to me than the other way around, lol. Anyway, I don't really know how to start the process...I'm sure I'll be looking to you for advice! I'm not ready yet...but in the next month or so...well I know it's about time. :(

  7. Oh scrummy! That is one gorgeously amazingly CUTE little man!!


  8. Absolutely beyond precious! Love the pics!

    I was a mess when we finally put Evan in his crib full time. He would nap there during the day, but stayed beside my bed during the nights. It was the only way I could sleep. I slepts horrid the first while of the transition! He did fine!
    I still have a monitor on though. He sleeps with his bedroom door closed so I just need that security. One day I'll ditch it. But not yet! I can't have the door open because the dogs would try crawl in to bed with him :) hee hee hee.

    Matthew is always with you guys. Always and forever until you meet at heavens gates. He will always be remembered and held dear to so many hearts!

    Hugs to you guys!

    Heather (HP/GOL)

  9. Lori - "Baby cankles" might be the cutest phrase ever typed. Love, love, love the photos of Luke. Does he keep getting cuter every day or what? So glad that your birthday was more "normal" this year, I understand how hard it must have been last year, and I am so glad Luke has brought such joy to your life. XOXO, J

  10. Yay for Luke sleeping longer stretches!! He cannot get any cuter!!!!

  11. Lori - he is SO sweet... those eyes just get more alluring every time I sign on! I am glad he is sleeping better! no matter how much we love them, sleep deprivation is awful!! a friend once told me that "sleep deprivation is a form of torture in other countries, you know?"... anyway - glad he's getting on the sleep train! He'll be fully on board soon! meanwhile, I am absolutely giggling at your comment about him sneaking in TV whenever he can... typical man :) LOL.... so glad you are well... i love hearing the smile in your voice as I read your posts!! Amy

  12. Lori, you just got an award! Pop over here http://bit.ly/9QUwOP to get it. Love you!