So close, I can taste it!

First, let me tell you that if you have never been able to claim you knew someone who drove away from the gas pump while the hose and nozzle were still attached to his or her car, you NOW can! Yep. That's how my day started. Well, actually, it was an argument about getting the right papers for notarization because John, God love him, still thinks that someone somewhere is just pulling all our legs and all these minute details and RIDICULOUS requirements are just someone punking us. Yeah, because I just LOVE making my life even more difficult. He asks "Why?" all the time. WHO KNOWS? IT JUST IS! Why am I short and he's tall? Why is he so stubborn and passive aggressive and I am just a pleasure to compromise with? Who knows? IT JUST IS. But I digress...

So anyway, after the argument of "Why does it have to be the same pen?" that we have had 5000 times, and he STILL used a different pen ON PURPOSE, just as I put the correct one in his face, we drove off to our respective destinations. Him work, me to pick up the home study!! I was sooooo excited! I drove to a local gas station because I needed gas and a cup of coffee desperately. So, I put my credit card in, push the cheapest button (don't even look at the price anymore because I cry) put the nozzle in my tank and stroll in to get my coffee. Yes, yes, yes...I know you are supposed to stay there, as I was ever so gently reminded by HAZMAT (more on that later) but no one does. Whatever. In the store, I got my coffee, and got into a new line that the manager opened because the lines were so long. "Pretty little girl like you shouldn't have to wait." YES, I KNOW...sexist, creepy, you name it. But hey, it's Southern Maryland and it got me out of waiting. So, he and I chat briefly and I thank him ever so kindly and walk out. I put my coffee in my car and realize I need to put the pump back. However, as I got back out of my car, I instantly saw the price--$61 for a flipping Honda Accord with GREAT mileage. I was shell-shocked, I guess. Call it what you want, but for whatever reason, I just stared, and got back in the car to drive on. Still just amazed at the price of gas, I start driving away and hear, "Ka Thud Thud CLACK" I look in my rear view mirror and dear Lord, I have driven away with the gas nozzle and hose!!!! People started running, laughing, pointing...I IMMEDIATELY stop, get out of the car, and run into the store yelling, "Help, Help. I broke the pump, Help, Help!" The manager (yep the same one) rushes over, some guys in vests rush out there, people are running around (and yes, still pointing) and I am bawling! "I can barely afford gas, I can't buy a gas pump!" (Imagine me WAILING that statement over and over in a pitiful, mournful and desperate cry!) Then, I start begging, "Please don't tell my husband, please don't tell my husband! We have to pay for the baby, please don't tell my husband!" (Crazy things ran through my head...must have been the GAS fumes!) The manager was very, very, VERY nice and told me it was ok, HAZMAT was on their way (refer back to how I was gently reminded that you STAY WITH YOUR CAR) and it was going to be ok. I did have to fill out some paperwork for HAZMAT, and I asked what I was going to have to pay and the manager said, "Honey, don't worry about it. It happens. And you didn't mean to! I was watching you out to your car (KIND OF CREEPY) and I know it was an accident. Not like them people who get so busy on those cell phones they don't pay no attention and just drive off. Don't you worry about it, honey." Of course, HAZMAT again reminded me to stay with my car--who are they? Like the Gas Pump Gestapo? So.....then, I picked my home study up. The end.


Ha ha...not really...got in touch with Ally just to be sure how to put it all together, went to the county court (Annapolis is cute, but a pain to navigate around) and SO VERY EASILY got my home study packet certified (what we Marylanders have to do before we authenticate) for the dossier! I drove back (by the way, a good half of that full gas tank is now gone) and spent an hour in Hell, aka STAPLES copying center. Not because of Staples, but because of all the copying and keeping papers together, etc. I was going to fax it to Ally there, but it would have cost about $80 so I decided to just use my all-in-one machine at home. Which took FOREVER because you have to scan EACH page in one at a time, and when the memory gets full (which is what happened the first time I tried after scanning 24 pages) it just DUMPS the project and you have to start all over. Which I did.

So now, a copy of my dossier sits in Ally's office for review before certification and authentication, and my original and complete dossier (sans any changes she makes) sits happily in my hands as I type. I'm so excited...and feeling very close to a finish line. Not THE finish line, but A finish line. And these days, I'll take what I can get!

Go and Stop...

Well--good news! Our home study is OFFICIALLY done and I am picking it up tomorrow morning, getting it certified (remember, lovely Maryland requires certification of the notarization before it can be authenticated) and hopefully getting the rest of the documents I have certified here in good old St. Mary's county. Then, my goal is to get to Annapolis on Thursday and authenticating it all at the state level, and THEN wait for our immigration approval so that our dossier can get sent to AA! In July, of course. Which is the stop part! I am SO excited about our trip, but on the same token, it does put a damper in our dossier submission. In light of what many people have told me about how long that wait is, I guess I am really blessed that I have a great vacation to take my mind off of waiting. My fear is that there will be some snafu while we are gone, and won't get to take care of it until I get back, which will make the dossier submission longer...and fall right in line with our process as of late! I am just not going to worry about it, though. It is what it is. Like the CPA bill. For the work she did in April, $700. Now, while that sounds like a load--and it is--don't get me wrong, it is a very discounted rate from what she quoted me. She originally quoted me $140 an hour and expected it would take about 4-5 hours. Ahem. It didn't. Due to her integrity and dedication to thorough accuracy (for which I am appreciative) it took about 2-3 times longer. She DID however, cut us a big break because she was excited to be part of the adoption process--so, she lowered her hourly rate to $54.27 an hour. Which was extremely nice of her. Mind you, there's still a bill coming for the work she did in June, which includes her driving to meet us and the notary to take care of all the paperwork and will probably be a few hundred dollars more, but the bright side is that she did give us a humanitarian rate. Was it an arduous process, working with such a stickler? YOU BET. Would I have preferred someone who was not quite the stickler (and was cheaper)? Of course, a teensy bit, but in light of all the things that I read on the boards every day, I am just fine with someone who wants to do everything she can to be as honest and forthcoming as she can, all the while covering my back. Which, I feel both she and my social worker did COMPLETELY. So...chalking it up to a little less money spent in Europe. Ha ha! Who am I kidding? With the Euro kicking our butt, there will be a LOT less money spent in Europe!

Speaking of Europe, I am excited, but I have to say that I am addicted to the blogs, the boards--all of it surrounding the bringing home of our girl, and worry I will go into withdrawal from 24/7 access to my computer. So, if there are fewer posts in the next month or so, realize it is because I don't have access. If any of you who read this find out anything that you feel I must know, please send it to me via email because I hope to be able to check it at least every couple of days-
johnandlorimd@yahoo.com

Today was the official last day of a hellish school year. Thank you LORD for helping me through it. I can't express the weight I feel lifted right now. Next year is going to be better, I know it is. Mainly because I plan to bring home a baby girl at the end of it!!

Patience is a virtue...

Well, it seems as if we probably won't be starting our 'official' wait until after July 15. The only things missing from our file for the home study are the training certificates. We did all our training online, and the certificates haven't come yet and may not be here for another 2-4 weeks. That's NUTS! I didn't realize that would be the case, otherwise, we would have probably done something else. In any event, our social worker, who again I have to reiterate is WONDERFUL, goes on family vacation and won't return until the 28th of May. Even if the certificates come (or I can get them faxed, which may be an option) and the home study is done, we will very likely not get the I600 approval until after June 15--and that's when I leave the country for a month. I guess at this point, my hope is that I can get all other dossier documents (pretty much done) to Ally and have her check them so I can at least get them all authenticated before I leave (remember, I live in the fabulous state of Maryland, where we have an EXTRA step in our Authentication Process) and then have them ready to turn in the second I get back into the country--July 16. The USCIS paperwork should certainly have plenty of time then, as I've heard it can take up to a month (though Betty told me it was averaging a week to two, once home studies were sent in) but I hate having something so important coming in the mail when my mail is going to be put on HOLD for such a long time. Oh well, guess the post office is a fairly safe place to keep it while we're gone, since that's sort of what they're in the business of. I read on the boards about people who are still waiting for their appointments to go and get their fingerprinting done. I don't know if there is just something else we didn't do and don't know it yet, but I have to say that about a week after we sent the app in, we got a letter telling us to come WHENEVER they were open--no appointment necessary--and it took less than 10 minutes from start to finish. Maybe I'm not giving Maryland enough credit after all...

Almost disaster...

Well, yesterday was a disaster. Thankfully, through the new friends I have made who are going through the same thing, I learned that our home study had to say some pretty specific things (rather, not say, I guess) so it would be acceptable to Kyrgyzstan. As one not known to be keen of omitting anything for fear it will come back and bite me in the butt, well...without going into all the specifics, (church, discipline and the way I grew up) let's just say I was devastated. Yesterday, I was contemplating Albania as a back-up country. I cried. I cried more.

I did call our agency, and the caseworker in charge while our original caseworker is out on leave was very helpful. She explained a lot, and gave suggestions for wording, which I promptly sent to our social worker. Who...if I haven't already mentioned, is PHENOMENAL. She emailed me back and told me not to fret--by doing what's in her families' best interests, she is doing what's in the best interest of children, because we would not be approved families if she didn't believe we would put the interests of the adopted children to be first and foremost. So, I am feeling much better. And still believe our daughter is coming from Kyrgyzstan.

Today, one of my parents brought in a whole bunch of things her daughter has outgrown and they are SO sweet! My favorite is the sweet little ladybug Halloween costume. Here's crossing fingers KGB will fit! What a sign, huh? At least I am taking it that way!

Things seem to be settling down...with Kyrgz, at least!

Thank God for those willing to share information on their blogs! It is through others' blogs that I see beautiful children, hear beautiful stories, laugh and cry with others and learn information that my agency has yet to tell me. One blog said their agency told them that this hold was just a couple of weeks and even had a date or two for reopening. Another family got a travel date in light of the hold. Wonderful signs that all is moving and will be fine. Of course, still easy for me to say that as I haven't even turned my dossier in, but...

Yesterday our social worker visited for the last part of our home study. It went great, and she even asked us if we were open to receiving calls from them should they have an infant whose birth mother wanted a closed adoption. Ummm...YES! At this point, I'll take children any way they want to come at me! I've always dreamt of a big family, and desperately hope that money won't be the reason I end up having an only child. The reality is that the expense of this adoption, coupled with my EXTREME desire to QUIT MY JOB will make expendable money much less readily available and who knows what the future holds.

Speaking of my job. All I can say is that I am NOT happy, am NOT in the right place, do NOT want to go back next year if at all possible and am trying very hard to not let my spirit be broken any more than it already is. Those of you in education probably know exactly what I am talking about. Those of you not in education, well...be glad you aren't and pray for children in our schools because I have to tell you that all over the country, they are going to hell in a hand basket. Hate to be so brusque about it, but...it is what it is. How sad.

On a lighter note, I think it is flipping HILARIOUS that every time I click on the "publish post" key, and the page that says "Your post has been published," comes up, on that page is a little box that tells me that I can "Post in my native Indiric Script," and there is some strange symbol that looks definitively like some kind of foreign writing. The hilarity of this is that my whole life, people have asked me "What are you?" "What's your ethnicity?" "What's your heritage?" and here this crazy Google blogspot editor assumes that English is not my "Native Script."

Hilarious.

Interviews set!

Oh, how much time does it look like I have? An entire rambling post about grammar. Well, someone must fight for it, might as well take on the challenge!

However, I do have actual adoption news!! I spoke with our social worker today and scheduled our individual interviews for this Friday and our home visit for April 22. After that, she said 7-10 days for the report and the home study will be officially DONE! What a process! She is still waiting on Child Protective Services, however, so I can't get too puffed up as they tend to take 10-12 weeks by their own statements, and even longer by my own experiences. We are in the 8th week now, so hopefully by the home visit, it should be in and there will be no hang-ups.

It's my understanding that she sends the report directly to USCIS, and then I'm hoping 1-2 weeks for them to give us our approval. That's all we need to get our dossier documents finished up, authenticated and sent to Adoption ARK. From there, it's all in their hands and we wait. I'm serious--I know everyone says the waiting part is the hardest because at least when you are putting stuff together, you feel like you are doing something. I have to say that I don't think that will be the case for me because I KNOW I can find things to do while waiting! My life is just one big to-do list! Remind me to remember this post when months go by and still no word on anything. Remind me that I asked for not being able to do anything but wait. Remind me about the good old days of feeling as if I was working toward a goal. I'll need that. For today and the next month or two, though, just remind me that this part will be over soon!

Full steam ahead!

Talked with our social worker today, which was a big surprise because I didn't think she would be there today!! She got my overnight package and said all we needed was my medical (which was mailed this am) and the guardianship form from my sister-in-law--which we will call about first thing in the AM--she's in Germany and 6+ hours ahead of us. Betty is booked until April 14, but I will call her back on Monday and she will schedule our interviews up there. After that, she comes to visit our house, and she said within 7-10 days, our homestudy reports are done and on their way to USCIS. SO--if we can get the I600A back within a reasonable amount of time, we could be looking at authenticating documents at both state and national level in the beginning of June! Yippee! It almost seems John is a bit worried about how quickly things are going--he (and I) are both banking on at least one more school year to finance this whole international fiesta. I told him that we are just lucky that it seems the homestudy is going fast. Once all docs are authenticated by the State Department in DC, they go to AA and then get translated. Then they go to the Kyrgz embassy and THEN they go to Kyrgyzstan--which will take a few months alone. The wait for a referral then is anywhere from 3-10 months, and for a girl, I'm guessing on the longer end. Soooo...I'm still anticipating that it will be 2009 before we go making any international travel plans--or at least plans to bring a baby home. That's fine--time moves so quickly. It'll be here before we know it!! Plenty of time for me to be nesting, though :)

Homestudy paperwork on it's way? CHECK!

Overnighted all the paperwork today to Bethany!! Our SW won't be there tomorrow, but she will have it first thing on Monday. Hopefully we will be able to get the interviews and home visit ASAP and THEN the report written so we can get it into Immigration and THEN get everything certified and authenticated (state level) and THEN get it ALL authenticated in DC and THEN bye-bye! And THEN? Wait!

Moving along!! Moving along!!

Homestudy on the way?

Well, that's the goal! We got our driving records today (and with the exception of a little love of the pedal to the metal several years ago, we are clean as a whistle!) and they were pretty much the last things we needed to get together to send off to Bethany. So, my goal is to have all paperwork copied and overnighted on Friday so they have it all by Monday. That would then leave an interview that we have to do there and then our caseworker coming out here--after that, she should be able to write the report. I'd love to have the report done by the end of April because then we need it to go to USCIS for the I600A--once that's done, most of the other dossier things are done or in the works (mostly this) and we could have the dossier sent to AA by June 13. That date is the target because I leave the country for my month of vacation on the 15th. So, I want to have ALL ducks in a row by the time I leave. Doable, perfectly doable. At least that's what I am telling myself!!

Hating waiting...but I won't complain!

Ha ha..I am hardly waiting for anything right now. Imagine me when we are REALLY waiting! Another mom going through Kyrgz just got their I600 confirmation and we haven't. That's a little worrisome to me because we sent ours of a couple of days before. Hopefully in the next day or two. Next week is my spring break, so if I have to trek out to Fairfax and visit the office myself, I can (and will) do so. Homestudy paperwork is slow...got the lovely tests for HIV, TB and drugs yesterday, and see my doctor next Friday and then the Homestudy medical paperwork (my part) will be done. I think for the agency, it will be more specific and need more credibility, but for now, I am happy to at least be moving through the homestudy. I know that all the paperwork the agency needed to send out has been, and most has gotten back. Now John, on the other hand...well, I'm a little concerned about things he is in charge of. He keeps telling me he needs a list. No, he doesn't. He just needs to do what I tell him. (If it was that easy...) There are very few things I need John to do--namely the medical and mail things I put together for him. Both seem to be difficult for him. The other things he needed to do for homestudy--a questionnaire about himself and draw a floorplan for our house--he said he would do on the boat. I doubt they are done. So...we may be having a 'come to Jesus' (as I like to call them) talk about doing things we say we are going to do when we say we are going to do them. I am certainly not without my own procrastination tricks, mind you. I just don't let them affect the status of a several thousand dollar / human life project.

That's all I am going to vent about that right now. Just call me Forest. Forest Gump.

I like Nanci's quotes at the end of her posts. I think I will pick that up. So, here's the first one.

"Procrastination is the grave in which opportunity is buried." Don't know who said it, but applicable nonetheless.

And on a sidenote, my dear, sweet and very loved and missed grandmother would have turned 95 today. I lost her 9 years ago in July and have never spent a day that I didn't miss her. In our family, she was quite the matriarch--opinionated, stubborn, critical and outspoken (nut didn't fall far from the tree, huh?)--and though she was all those things, to me, she was my Grandma Gosnell and she loved me. I'm talking LOVED loved me. Possessive, almost. Infuriated my mother, but sure did make me feel special. Happy Birthday, Grandma...I have no doubt she is exactly where she lived her life to be.

Chugging along

Well, I had the first of I hope not many adoption scares this week. I got an email from someone going through the similar process. The email said that there was hold on the Kyrgz program for baby girls with most agencies, including my own. Talk about freaking out. I was at school, and thank God my kids were in specials because I called our caseworker, emailed her, called again, emailed again...cried some, then emailed again. When I got home (3 hours later) I immediately called again and got in touch with her. She assured me that we were on target, things were fine, etc. I get the feel that they aren't really worried about us right now because we are still in the homestudy process so we have some time for the issues with the program to get worked out. That is just fine with me. I just want to make sure that when we ARE ready, we're on target. I still feel that way, and that's all I am concerned about.

My principal wrote a very lovely letter of reference, and I got goosebumps as I read it. Just reading these things makes the whole process seem so much more real. I know several friends have gotten their reference letter as well, and it's sort of frustrating that John goes on the boat for a week because that's a week we lose in him getting things only he can do done. I guess the lesson God is teaching me through all this is patience. Funny how He knows what I need to work on anyway, huh?

HO-LY COW is there some paperwork!!!

Well, friends, snow day. As you know, I am not a huge advocate of those, but in this case, yippee. Our Social Worker called yesterday and told me she had a cancellation for today if we were interested in coming up there (Crofton) for the initial interview!! Worked out perfectly. Although, I will say I was a little grumpy because I did not get the phone call that comes when school is out, got up, complained that today actually SHOULD be a snow day, got dressed, came down for coffee, went back upstairs to do makeup and see on the news that SCHOOL IS CLOSED! Where was my call? I could have slept!! Even better, my call DID come--at 7:53 am. Eight minutes AFTER I am expected at school and seven minutes before kids normally gallop through my door. What organization! Who says education is in trouble?

Anyway, we got the checklist for the dossier for Kyrgyzstan. It is MONSTROUS! Being military, it's even harder because there are some tricky little residency issues. As if the adoption is not costing an arm and a leg, the possibility of John having to be a Maryland resident (thus taking away our cushy Florida residency and tax break) is on the plate and neither of us are happy about that--that's possibly an additional 5-7K A YEAR that we would end up having to pay!! Hopefully our licenses (Florida, but with our Maryland address) will work. We also have to have a million different documents from a trillion different agencies all over the country and then we have to trust those documents in the Maryland State Department office for certification. This is all very overwhelming right now. I don't even think John has A CLUE of what is involved, or what I am looking at getting together. That's why I don't feel ONE BIT BAD about leaving the trash in the can until it flows out the door--trash is his job!!! This, apparently, is mine. Whew.

Hey, and spellcheck works now! Woohoo! Happy Friday!