"You and I were meant to be"

Fun day at school--always love celebrating Dr. Seuss's birthday with Read Across America Day. I lost a student today, but gained one immediately, so our class load is still the same. The student I lost, however, was the same who told me I needed to say please, so I am hoping for a little less confrontation on a daily basis.

Another blogger on nearly the same trip as we are made the comment that I may be paying a bit too much attention to some of the comments on the blogs I am reading and she may be right. I have to say, though, I still just think more and more about what place I have deciding who is right for my family. Especially as I am listening to the music from M's blog and the words talk about how "you and I were meant to be"--isn't God amazing with what He tells us and even more when we actually listen? Our homestudy social worker prayed for us when we went for the initial interview and I have to say that I cried and cried as she talked about the choices we would have to make and the wonder of this child that God is creating JUST FOR US! I still tear now as I think about the depth of that statement--God is creating our child, just for us. The ONE designed specifically for our family. Who am I to insist that He do that, just as long as she's a girl? Uggghhhh...friends, feel free to lift us in prayer. I said it yesterday and still think I feel it today--a girl is my heart's desire, but a precious little boy...I think of my nephews, of the sweet and loving little boys I teach...I still am so torn! Today one of my SWEET little boys was in the cafeteria before school started. He is a VERY lovey little boy, and just a doll. I walked by him, and as I did, he called my name out and blew a kiss. I blew a little one back, told him good morning, and kept walking. As I walked away, I could hear him tell his friend, "That's not my mom, that's my teacher. She's just as good." That made my morning. Imagine that every day coming from my very own?? Here's praying that siblings or a girl AND a boy are available. We put two children on our I600A. John freaked out about how much more that would cost, and who can blame him? We'd make it work, though. Period.

Decisions, decisions...

Okay, since this is just my humble thoughts and opinions, I can't lie and say that I have not been looking at other blogs of people who have done this all and I am seeing SO MANY sweet boys! The Kyrgz yahoo group has recently been having conversations about boy vs. girl, and I am starting to feel torn! There is a point--biological pregnancy does not allow you to choose. Then again, biological pregnancy doesn't cost me an arm and a leg and make me promise my firstborn (almost literally) just to bring her home. I figure if I do have a choice, then why not take advantage of it. Then I think about how sad I would be if I never had a little boy and wonder if I am making the right decision about a girl. I can't imagine not having a little girl, but then again...I can't imagine not having a little boy. John, bless his heart, is really and truly not particular either way--which sort of makes it harder! We could have a boy here a LOT faster, and who else is going to carry on our last name? Uggh...I guess we will continue to pray about it, but stick with what we have. In my heart of hearts, I think John will be just thrilled beyond belief with a little girl, and I know I will, so...KGB, we're still waiting!

Oh, and I changed the site a bit to make it easier to read...I hope...

Chugging along

Well, I had the first of I hope not many adoption scares this week. I got an email from someone going through the similar process. The email said that there was hold on the Kyrgz program for baby girls with most agencies, including my own. Talk about freaking out. I was at school, and thank God my kids were in specials because I called our caseworker, emailed her, called again, emailed again...cried some, then emailed again. When I got home (3 hours later) I immediately called again and got in touch with her. She assured me that we were on target, things were fine, etc. I get the feel that they aren't really worried about us right now because we are still in the homestudy process so we have some time for the issues with the program to get worked out. That is just fine with me. I just want to make sure that when we ARE ready, we're on target. I still feel that way, and that's all I am concerned about.

My principal wrote a very lovely letter of reference, and I got goosebumps as I read it. Just reading these things makes the whole process seem so much more real. I know several friends have gotten their reference letter as well, and it's sort of frustrating that John goes on the boat for a week because that's a week we lose in him getting things only he can do done. I guess the lesson God is teaching me through all this is patience. Funny how He knows what I need to work on anyway, huh?