What is Elvis trying to tell me?

Again, feeling lonely without my baby daddy here. He's in Minnesota, getting ready to go an an awesome (by his standards, not mine!) trip with Uncle Brad. They will be dropped off in the middle-of-nowhere, Minnesota. They will be given a canoe, some food and some good luck. Then they will rough it for 5 days. Now, knowing John's penchant for treating his stomach well, I'm curious to see the true extent of 'rough it'....knowing him, it won't be that rough unless they don't catch stuff. In any event, in no way, shape or form does that sound appealing to me at all, so THANK YOU, Uncle Brad for being interested in this and taking one for the team. John can't wait until Matthew is old enough to do that. Hmm. I can. Last thing I can think of wanting is my two dearest loves in the middle of nowhere and something happen to them. John assures me he has some device that should life or limb be at risk, he can push a button and get help. Here's hoping they don't need that.

In any event, as loneliness often leads me to internet searches for who knows what, I decided to google my mom. It's been a while since she died, so there wasn't much in the first few pages and I wasn't up for going further. I did go to her old Xanga site, though, which is comfortingly still up. I went to August 22, 2002 (the last August post she had) to see what she was thinking. August 22 was a fairly benign post, but I kept reading and found her August 17 post to be interesting. Remember my August 16 post about missing my mom and Elvis? Well, her August 17, 2002 post was about Elvis too. Now, finding this a lovely coincidence at first, I then realized he passed on August 16, 1977, and the coincidence was more timing, but anyway...

This is what she had to say:
"If Elvis hadn't died....
I wouldn't be watching his stacked up movies on the movie channel. Blue Hawaii was the only one that really appealed to me, although I may have enjoyed Love Me Tender if I had seen it all the way through. I was small when the latter movie hit the screens, although, as I reflected today, I am only thirteen years younger than El, had he kept on living.
If Elvis hadn't died, he'd be alive. (DUH!) He'd be an aging faded, star. Maybe. I think newer generations will be spared the idolatry we of the Elvis generation have to tolerate. It's time to leave him alone. Wouldn't have said that a year ago, but I certainly now have my fill of hero worship. He left this world in an undesirable fashion but, despite the narcotics and quirks, he did it his way. That's important, when you can .... do it your way. I have no other news. I woke up with a sense of foreboding which I don't care to go on about and will probably head back to the sack for my . . . Elvis movies?
~NOOOOOOOO!~"

How funny. And, as much as I knew about my mom and her love of Elvis, I didn't know that Blue Hawaii was her favorite. There's nothing like learning things about your parents, even if they aren't here any more.

Sadly, while reading her couple of days worth of August posts, she commented about how she was feeling regarding her cancer and her chemo...."What makes me a more likely candidate for the five-year-survival rate? It's scary. Downright frightening. BUT, as hubby says, "We have to give it all we've got." So off I go to the research pages, leaving a few links that will encourage me, and others, to put every effort into conquering the beast. Should I lose, I hope that I will be remembered as highly as Diane whose tribute by notforprophet almost made me cry."

This made me mad--my dad telling her they have to give it all they've got and 7 years later he can't even be bothered to remember she lived and was his wife and my mother. It also made me sad that she was worried about how she'd be remembered. I remember her every day, and though I don't know how highly this Diane she speaks of is remembered, I can guarantee that my mom's memory is right up there as she would have wanted.

Whew...what a day!

I won't even bother to ask if you've ever had one of those days where you just wonder at the end of the day how you survived (and even laughed at) it because I know EVERYONE has...I did today!

I was soooo tired last night and even more tired (and sore--horrible crick in my neck) this morning when the alarm went off. I even contemplated missing church because I was just that tired and sore. I got up and got moving, though, had a lovely morning in church (even though I have succumbed to taking my lumbar roll everywhere I have to sit for more than five minutes and sort of felt like a dork, but whatever....). Then I drove home.

I've been listening to Elvis Radio (channel 18 if you have Xm/Sirius) on Sundays to and from church because it reminds me so much of my mom and my grandma...two ALL-TIME Elvis lovers. I know Elvis's versions of old gospel hymns like the back of my hand, and I totally take advantage of listening to what *I* want to when John's gone. So, on the way home, the Elvis American trilogy song comes on...if you are (gasp) not an Elvis fan, it is a compilation of three songs--Dixie, All My Trials and The Battle Hymn of the Republic. And the tears just start POURING. Now I realize that I am hormonal (ya think?) but I also still miss my mom very much, especially being pregnant. And this was one of her favorite medleys of Elvis's and brought back soooo many memories for me of growing up. Then I started throwing myself a pity party about being lonely and missing my mom, my grandma, John, Elvis, Ed McMahon and an assortment of others...*THEN* as I continued listening, I started to get VERY mad at my dad and was contemplating the letter I was going to write to him...a plethora of emotions just overtook me. Thankfully, the song stopped, I wiped my tears, laughed at the ludicrousness of crying like that as I drove and took a deep breath.

Only to hear the trilogy START ALL OVER. AGAIN. Seriously, it started all over again. First I laughed. Then I cried more. Then I started laughing and thinking that even though my mom wasn't here, she was obviously, in a sense. I loved it. I even started thinking about all the old Elvis movies I remember watching on tv when I was growing up and how I missed them and never saw them anymore...

I finally got home and played with Dixie a bit, calmed down and laughed a bit more and then headed to pick a friend up to see The Time Traveler's Wife. As we got to the movie theater, I reached into my purse to get my wallet and guess what? It wasn't there! It wasn't in my purse, it wasn't in my car and I started to freak out. I tried to tell myself that it was at home, on the table and I should just enjoy the movie. Which, by the way, I didn't. At least in my hyper-hormonal state of mind, that is! If you go, take tissues. Anyway, when I got home, I could not find my wallet anywhere. I then started to retrace steps and they went back to me working at school yesterday (yes, a Saturday...and I probably overdid it but had no choice) and being in Annapolis the day before. While my sweet school secretary offered to go in my room and see if it was there, I went back over every store or place I was Friday in Annapolis...with the last place being Babies R Us. So, I called them, thinking it was probably not there since I had used gift cards. Well, guess what? After initially being told, "No, we don't have any wallets," the girl then said, "Wait, what does it look like?" I described it again and she asked, "Is your name Lo--" and didn't finish. I squealed, "Yes, I'm Lori! Lori Ennis," and proceeded to tell her all about my wallet.
"Yep, we have it." THANK YOU GOD!

The fun part is that Annapolis is about an hour and a half away. And Babies R Us was closing in about two hours from the time I called. So, I raced into my car and headed up there...they would only give it to me in person, which I can appreciate, but was dreadfully inconvenient. Thankful they had it, though, I was just glad to be on my way. Until, about 40 minutes into the drive, I realize I only have 13 miles of gas left in my tank and pulled over to get gas. The problem THERE was that these days, gas stations expect payment. Which I could not offer. I started to freak out. I begged the cashier to allow me to just give my credit card number (which I know by memory due to my online shopping prowess) but he said his manager wouldn't allow it. I then offered to call my sister or mom and have them give a credit card number. No go. Finally, the manager actually came out of the back room, saw I was basically an unassuming, crazy little pregnant lady and let me give my number. Again, THANK YOU GOD!

The rest of the trip there and back were thankfully uneventful. Three + hours later I am home and thankful that they had my wallet (though we are registered there and they've had it since Friday and I can't imagine why they wouldn't at least check and see if they could find a phone number, but again, whatever!), I had the opportunity to get it and I didn't drive away from the gas pump with the hose still attached. (Um, I guess I should add, again.)

But as I sit down and turn the tv on to just veg a minute while I eat my nightly Magically Delicious Snack, what in the WORLD do you think is on tv? It Happened At The World's Fair. Not one of Elvis's best, in my opinion, but lots of cute songs I liked and for Pete's sake--an ELVIS movie! I haven't seen any on tv in probably years...and guess what the TCM channel is doing? Showing Elvis movies for hours...and hours....King Creole, GI Blues (one of my favorites!), Roustabout and The Trouble With Girls. SERIOUSLY? Call it what you want, but when I see rainbows, I think of John's dad...when I see butterflies (my mom had a bumper sticker that read, "I brake for butterflies" and the day of her funeral, we saw more butterflies than I can ever remember) or hear Elvis, I think of my mom. And those times we pray to God for little pieces of comfort and assurance come to us in this way. Thank you, yet AGAIN, Lord.

Matthew...just wait until you hear Elvis. And trust me, you will.