The Lord giveth...

Well, ask and ye shall receive. We have had rain. I forgot that rain also forces indoor recess, which, might as well be one's own personal little hell, but I am still thankful for the rain. It makes everything so nice and green, and saves me from the pesky job of watering everything while John is gone.

I do have bronchitis, though, so, as expected, allergies may have started the whole misery I have been dealing with for the last week, but those little infection buggers took over. The medicine seems to be helping, but much more slowly than I would like. I am thankful for weekends so I can rest and recover, but feel so pressured to get so much done, I'm torn.

We got a very personable and fairly informative update from our agency. It seems as if lots has been going on and our caseworker's emergency leave was for the bringing home of her own little girl from Uzbekistan. I am very excited for her, and find it kind of funny that she may have been going through a lot of the same things I have. Although, she obviously has a little more of an 'in' than I do! After this last email , I feel a bit better, as if they are understanding of the fact that we are all seeming a bit uneasy and they want to make things better. Not to mention, I still am hoping that the multiple ties my agency has with the culture of Kyrgz and the whole Eastern European bloc, for that matter, might still be the advantage I thought it was in the first place. Of course, that's my own theory, and that plus $3.79 will buy you a gallon of gas...

And the Today show, with their Favorite Mom contest? Categorizing moms, and putting adoptive moms in the "Non-mom" category??? What the heck's up with that? I fired a letter off to them and the rest of their sponsors. Along with, apparently, enough other people to get the category changed to "Adopting Moms," though I'd still prefer no categorization. But, whatever...ignorance is ignorance, on a big or small scale, and sadly, exists. And always will. So, in baby steps, I will fight it as I can.

Boy, do I love the comma. In rereading this, and other posts, I find I use it a LOT. Then again, I have always been told I write like I speak. Apparently I live for pauses. Ask John, and he'll tell you that they are dramatic pauses. He's right.

How will I know???

Rain, rain, rain...please, please, PLEASE Lord, send rain. If the misery I am in right now is due to allergies, clean it up!!! If not, thank goodness I have my official dossier medical exam tomorrow and will actually see my wonderful doctor. I made this appointment a month ago, because that's just what you do with military health care. Who knew that I would have the ailments from which I am now suffering and the timing would be perfect? I know, I know...God did.

So...Lord, how do I know when/if I back away from this program/this country? As I've noted, we haven't gotten much information from our agency about what's going on in Kyrgz with the program. Now, I totally believe each agency has a different relationship in-country and within DC and each agency has different requirements and each agency will share different pieces of information based on its knowledge. The fact that mine hasn't shared much doesn't truly alarm me all that much because there just may not be much official to share, and in that case, I'd rather know the certainties than the possibilities. That's why, when we didn't get an update on our program from our weekly agency note, I didn't freak out too much (ha ha, refer yourself to previous posts if you want to see what a liar I apparently am :) and sent a little email on Sunday asking our agency whether or not the exclusion meant anything serious. No answer Monday. Hmmm...not even an acknowledgment of my email. "Okay, Okay," I tell myself...probably busy on Monday, let's give a full 24 hours...though I REALLY did not think an acknowledgement was that much to ask for, but whatever...So, yesterday, when I get a call from another fellow Kyrgz and agency friend, telling me that she heard from someone else that the embassy was back up and running, I was excited! That soon turned to a sick feeling, though, when I also find out that our agency had emailed her that day, but no mention of this had been made in that email. I was not upset that our agency hadn't mentioned anything about that news in their email, I was upset that I didn't GET that email. Nothing. Not a response to my original email from Sunday night (now Tuesday late afternoon) nor simple acknowledgement. My friend said that it seemed as if the email was sort of generic, just to our agency's clients, so she assumed everyone had gotten it. Novel idea, right? All clients getting it? So, I RE-SENT my original email from Sunday and asked if it was received, as I was about to send my dossier and was a little worried I'd heard nothing. Within FIVE minutes, I got a reply. FIVE. It was generic, just that there was no official news, some rumors, and there should be something more definitive on Monday. Still didn't get that first email that my friend had, though. When my friend sent it to me, asking if I really hadn't gotten it, I couldn't believe it. It really was a very generic letter, that was simply addressed to "Dear clients," (a group, might I add, based on my last bank statement, I AM a part of!!) and had a brief update. Why did I not get this generic letter? I understand that our caseworker is on emergency leave, and as a result, her fill-in is probably pretty deep in cases, but for PETE'S SAKE...if I can be emailed in FIVE minutes when I voice my concerns about sending my dossier (and $$) why, oh why, can't I be included on a generic update letter?

Am I crazy? Are my expectations too high? Am I just highly sensitive right now and need to chill? It isn't like when my caseworker WAS in town I felt much more informed!!

Lord, are you trying to tell me something? And if so, what?



(And while You're at it, could you maybe get me some renters for the end of this year?? Okay, okay...I know I gave that one to You already...I'll stop!)

Raindrops are falling on my head...

Tonight we are in a flood watch. Of course. That means we will probably have indoor recess tomorrow. It has been a long day, and I anticipate tomorrow will be longer with our standardized testing (6 days worth) starting and an observation and an after school program...I'm tired just thinking about it. If it weren't for me needing (ha ha) to watch American Idol tonight, I would just go tuck myself in right now.

I DID get our marriage licenses, little thanks to UPS. We also got our checklist from Adoption Ark and I am happily checking little things off the list. Talked with A from Adoption Ark and found out there are 25 families (of which we are one) in the Kyrgz program with them. When we get our dossier in, she will be able to give us a frame of where we are , etc...still have a little bit of time, though. I also asked about the reality of siblings, usually one is much older. I'm pretty torn about that, only because I really believe in the developmental milestones in those first pivotal years, so I don't know how willing I would be to tackle things I didn't have to tackle. I know that it's never a guarantee for ANY child, regardless, but...in any event, A said we would keep the more than one child path open. She said lots of people do back to back adoptions. Don't think that will fit in the budget. KGB will have to go to college one day and it may be her fund that we'd kill if we did back to backs! So...checklist, here I come!